We have all seen them

“I woke up as usual on Saturday at 7:00am and checked out the window to see if it was another fine day for hiking. It did not look to promising so on went the weather channel, clouding over with a chance of thunder showers in the afternoon, Blah! I went back to bed. Some time around 9:30 I awoke for the 2nd time and decided to look at Kat Kam on the net and see what it looked like downtown .Sunny skies, I was off. It was so late in the day to go anywhere far so I decided to drive to Mt. Seymour and go for the top. The trip was uneventful, the sun was shining, the North Van people were out in their Gucci hiking boots, the mosquitoes were buzzing and everything was as it should be. I left most of the tourists down near the parking lot trails and soon found myself stopping for lunch on the second peak. That’s where I had the problem. There was a scattering of people quiet for the most part drinking in the sights. Then I heard him, "Look Susan, that sissy boy over there has ski poles, what’s he gonna do? Ski down this little bitty snow we have yuck!" My body, heavily muscled from years of lugging a backpack up hills tensed . True my six pack has now turned into a small keg, but underneath well... you know the rest.
I turned and there he was. A guy about 6'2"- 200lbs, wearing loafers, dress slacks, and a golf shirt! I’ll call him Rocky; he was an Alpha Male in the true sense of the word, the kind that the rest of us just shake our heads at. A number of years in boxing and martial arts had readied me for his approach. His wife, in her print dress and running shoes, followed in tow protesting all the way. Why you got the ski poles boy he asked? I informed him they were trekking poles and helped to take some of the load.... "What ya got in that holster boy, a big gun?" Yuck! I turned and looked everyone was staring at us, our silent reprieve broken by all this fools noise. My instinct told me to give him a ridge hand just between the eyes and be done with it, but being a civilized man, I smiled and said.
That is bear spray for the grizzlies and cougars that frequent the back country here. A steady look at his eyes and I knew I had him. Oh and by the way see this. I removed the soft tip from one of my poles. See that spike I said. It’s tipped with Curare, in fact enough to put down a 600lb bear (I smiled at his wife) "you’re full of it" he said. Rocky’s voice was shaky and by now the colour had left his face. I looked across to an adjoining rock to see one of our brethren. Pull the tip off and show him I said. He complied and confirmed what I had just said about the Curare. "We all have our tips dipped in it."
Rocky was silent.
Well I must be off you have a good day! I stopped by his wife, gave her one of my cards and fished out a quarter from my pocket. She looked at me strangely. I told her that if he didn’t make it down to call me and I would come back to help look for the body parts! Rocky was silent.
I walked a few steps and turned. One more thing I said. The poles help carry the extra weight.
You see I also carry a 45 automatic in my pack and, well, it adds to my load an awful lot.
As I went down the rock face I could hear a man being scolded and soft chuckles in the background.
The trip down was uneventful.”

“A good write-up. It illustrates why I carry 15% pepper spray on the trail and, when home, attend aikijutsu classes. If you have not seen my pictures taken in class, you might enjoy then on Phil's Photo Page by clicking here.”

“Hey, NS!

Long time, no seaweed!”

“That sounds embellished to say the least, thehiker. Still, I don't carry around my G26 when I hike for nothing.”

“I think the .45 would do the trick!

8|”

“.45 is overkill. if you can't place the shot - get OC spray.”

“I've been underground.”

“'Keeping a low profile,' I see... <G>”

“What a jerk.

I am not talking about the dude in the loafers either. If "Thehiker" bristles up when a yuppy snickers at his hiking sticks, I hate to think what he would do with a real red neck.

Seems like a lot of pent up anger in that dude.”

“I got five bamboo arrows all close to or over 6 feet in length. The wood tips that are designed to break off are stained in that stuff. I think these were designed for hunting monkeys and other tree dwellers. My dads parents brought them back to the states a long time ago.

I gotta figure a out a way to display them. The feather vanes are getting all tore up.”

“I carry a weapon sometimes, but it has been dead useless weight for over 35 years. Once you get away from the parking lots, deep into the woods or off the trails (weekdays help) the people that you meet are the best.”

“bacpac - I understand what you are saying. However, I viewed this article differently. I question the credibility. It just seems to be a nicely written article.

1. After he awoke a second time, he went to Kat Kam instead of looking for an update on the weather forecast. He should be interested in the weather on a mountain for the day, now what it looks like downtown currently.

2. It sounds like he went alone, but suddenly there is "one of our brethren." And this "one of the brethren" says, "We all have our tips dipped in it."

3. In my lifetime this is the first time that I have heard of "Curare" being used here in the U.S., except in medicine. (Of course, I'm not too old to learn something new.)

4. He's talking about the weight of his pack on a dayhike, even if he is joking!

5. There are not many places left where one can make a telephone call for 25¢. Could this article be dated?

6. This sounds very urealistic: "I would come back to help look for the body parts!"

7. He writes, "My body, heavily muscled from years of lugging a backpack up hills ... ." I question this development. He does not have a picture on Phil's Photo Page and there is no information in his Profile. Is he real? Can anyone voutch for him?

However, I did enjoy the article.”

“spelling correction - vouch”

“What is that device that you use to pry a hook from a fish's mouth called again?”

“Hemostats.”

“NS -

1 - The Kat Kam is downtown and Mt Seymour is one of the North Shore Mnts overlooking the City of Vancouver

3 - Not in the US.... Canada

5 - The telephone is 25 cents

7 - Yes, I know who he is”

“the story put me to sleeeeeee........zzzzzzzzzz”

“

User Name: The Hiker
Real Name: Russ
Location: Port Moody B.C., Canada
Age: 49
Marital Status: Single
Sex: Male
Occupation: Millwright

email: the_hiker01@hotmail.com”

“Hummm, sounds fishy to me.....”

“Heavily muscled? He's got boobs!”