Syria Says It Can't

“Syria Says It Can't Stop Flow of Celebrities
(2003-04-14) -- The Syrian Foreign Ministry announced today that its government can do nothing to stop the flow of anti-war celebrities into Syria.

"Our borders are long, and our resources short," said foreign ministry spokeswoman Buthaina Shaaban. "Let the U.S. government keep them contained in Hollywood. It's George Bush's problem."

The apparent disappearance of formerly vocal anti-war celebrities has led some in the Bush administration to speculate that they may have fled into Iraq's friendly neighbor.

"Up until a week ago," said an unnamed White House source, "there were dozens of celebrities making the rounds of the talk shows, saying our policy was doomed. Now it seems they've fled, and Syria would be a natural hiding place."

ScrappleFace”

“So that's where Mickey Rooney went!”

“Hehe, maybe we'll get those celebs when we bomb Syria.”

“You mean Martin Sheen and his gang are "Human Shields" in Syria?”