Rap Sheet

“No serious run-ins with John Law.

However, and to wit:

1979: Citation for illegal swimming in Kansas

1982: Stopped for suspicion of drunken driving on Federal property; let go.

1989: Traffic ticket.

That's it.”

“1983 - Driving with a suspended license and enjoying an agricultural pursuit (with paraphernalia) in New Jersey...

That's it.”

“2001- Throwing rocks at police in riot gear”

“Trespassing (sitting in a parking lot while cruising as a teen)

Open container (cruising as a teen again)

Public intox/breaking curfew (drunk walking the streets as a teen)

after I urned 18 I got smart and just drank at home. Just speeding tickets after that.”

“2000- Rapelling off of a compus building: Warning”

“HEEHEEHEE Yeah, college was fun, wasnt it?”

“oh yeah...i liked it so much i went back for a Masters!!!”

“Sure was. Had several close calls in school, but nothing that amounted to anything. "The results of a Higher Education"...”

“I liked it so much...they kicked me out for a year :O!”

“1996 Contempt of Court after telling a #&%!$ judge I had nothing but contempt for the court.”

“I like that one, Chili! lmao”

“oh yeah...i also got a reckless driving fine cause i fell asleep at the wheel, took out a mile marker, and a guy's fence. ahhhh, high school!”

“Also in 2001- Tresspassing and "Resisting arrest" they had to unchain me from a tree! :D

Then there was that plant they found growing in my dorm room....but I proved it wasnt mine :) (It was really the neighbors and my room mates)”

“never been busted...

never plan to”

“1979: Citation for illegal swimming in Kansas
Bitpusher


is that another word for Skinny dipping?”

“No, I was swimming in place you weren't supposed to. I wasn't skinny dipping that time, lol...”

“oops, in a place...”

“yeah, likely story!



ok here it goes.

busted for skinny dipping but let off
speeding ticket on my 21st birthday


thats it (I think)”

“No arrests, no convictions. Neither felony nor misdemeanor.

(knock on wood)


heh-heh-heh-heh...



Speeding tickets? oy vey.”

“we all know each other Real Good here on TT, don't we?
:-D

NOTHING for me either...moooooaahaahaahaa!! can you believe it? not even a speeding ticket. i must look real innocent!”

“I did all the usual stupid teenage/college stuff but was smart enough not to get caught, hee hee.

Speeding ticket about 7 years ago for driving 72 in a 55 zone on an Interstate. Pissed about it, but paid it.

Ticket for "improper backing" about 4 years ago. I backed into someone driving the wrong way in a parking lot. Went to court and the judge threw it out.

That's my Life of Crime, or the stuff I've been caught at. ;)”

“I can not believe that I even asscoate with you harden criminals!”

“My middle name ought-a be "Too Fast For Conditions"

LOL”

“Hey is it a crime to protest PEACEFULLY? I think NOT! It is a crime to destroy and pave everything just for the sake of buisness and profit. They should arrest all the scum destroying our world! :D”

“This is almost as much fun as reading True Confessions Magazine! LOL Well, at least I'm in good company and not the only "criminal" around. Seems like to me just about the time I get to having the best fun the fuzz shows up. Its not right.”

“...but made for a funny anecdote anyway. My best buddy, back about 25 years ago, was double parked in Manhattan while his Mom was inside a bank. Police car pulled up alongside and the cop told him to move his car. He did, and went around the block, only to plop his car right back in the same spot. The cop came back and this time, got out and started to reprimand him. He said, "I told you to move that car." "Now, I'm giving you a ticket for refusing to comply." My friend, in his inimitable wisdom said, " while you're at it, why don't you give yourself a ticket for impersonating an officer." Yes, he is lucky the cop didn't do a 'Rodney' on him...”

“15 - Riding motorcycle on street w/o driving license - suspended until I was 16 yrs and 6 mos. (Still got it at 16 though)

17 - speeding - suspended for 30 days.

19 - Reckless driving (50 in a 25) in Craig, Colorado $300, license suspended for 1 year but didn't know it until I applied for a WY license.

Many other speeding tickets throughout life but none for about 10 years.”

“Jess traffic tickets so far. I'll get back to you when I have something interesting to report.”

“I plead the fifth.

Not the fifth that Phaedy and Tom T. accuse me of drinking. The fifth Amendment.

(I never did like distilled spirits.)”

“There are a lot of job openings here as a cabbie, Chief. Come on over...”

“No Thanks!!!

New Yark is just a little too fast paced for me.

I'll stick to Cody and it's slooooow lifestyle.”

“Spill the real beans about maple's life of crime. I don't believe for a minute she doesn't have at least two or three felonies on her rap sheet. She's no goody-two-shoes. Hee hee.”

“C'mon Chief. We can get you one of those gaudy crowns for your dashboard, a beaded seat rest and even a turban if you so desire...”

“...but he already speaks English, how you gonna fix that?”

“She told a cop to %$$#@%&*((( ((*&^%$$$%^ and *&^^$$ once. That was 1985

Then, she told a judge to ^%$%^^% @##!@!@#3 and to $%^##@#@# on it. That was 1988.

And then she tore the tag off a mattress. That was 1990.


Outside of that, she's been a good girl...”

“Teach him Urdu


I have a book called Urdu for dummies...”

“Tore a tag off a matress, did she?





That's pretty serious. Didn't she read the warning?”

“LOL @ TREE AND STOVIE”

“Yes. That's what makes her so BAAAADDDD!!”

“god, you people need a life!!!


LOL@ geo


treeb. that is too funny. true but funny! you got me once, only once with that one!”

“I've talked my way out of a few situations. Knock on wood.

Only a traffic ticket here and there. None in about 15 years.”

“Busted for mary jane on Bull Shoals Lake in Southern Missouri 1983. Found guilty...payed fine...they took really good green buds from me.

Ditched a cab driver in Hawaii in 1986. Given a warning and made to pay the idiot.

Busted for fighting and placed in a straight jacket in an Alameda, CA bar. Christmas day 1988 (yea I gotta shirt for christmas...the sleeves were a little too long...)

Got caught without a wilderness permit by Ranger Rick in Mokuleme wilderness of all places. Nothing happened.”

“Busted for mary jane on Bull Shoals Lake in Southern Missouri 1983. Found guilty...payed fine...they took really good green buds from me.

Ditched a cab driver in Hawaii in 1986. Given a warning and made to pay the idiot.

Busted for fighting and placed in a straight jacket in an Alameda, CA bar. Christmas day 1988 (yea I gotta shirt for christmas...the sleeves were a little too long...)

Got caught without a wilderness permit by Ranger Rick in Mokuleme wilderness of all places. Nothing happened.”

“Could be worse, could be this guy...”

“Sssshhh! We're hunting wabbit...”

“oh man, not the rabbit suit again”

“Oh, so that's how you hurt yourself!”

“no thats how treebeard hurt me!!”

“Maple, I'm not saying you'll ever need this advice again... :-D But IF you do..... Here's what I can offer.

If you ever get caught skinny dipping and/or rock climbing

Unless it is a female officer... its usually best off to just stay naked and come right up to the ossifer trying to ticket you.
Not that I know about any of this personally mind you.
It can have a very flustering effect upon the Law.
Whats wrong officer? Yer walkin funny. somethin wrong with yer leg?”

“LOL


PA's slogon is "you have a friend in PA"

NJ's should be "you left you undies in NJ" not that i would know mind you :)

LOL”