Why did the chicken cross the road?

“gee I guess to find the right link!

chicken joke”

“Cheap Tickets!”

“it's been done

age old question ”

“I like mine better!!@!”

“Having spent some time around chickens tt is clear that the real question is why wouldn't they cross the road?”

“He remembered he left his beret at the bagette shop across the street.”

“Q: Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
A: She was afraid someone would caesar!”

“bacpac the chicken farmer. That explains a lot.”

“"Around here we prefer to call him the Chicken 'Lover'."
-Officer Barbrady”

“You don't like farmers?

No wonder you think the sky is falling.”

“Have fun in the henhouse chickenboy!”

“Enjoy the nuthouse.”

“To escape my dehydrator!



Mooooooowahahahahahahahahaha!”

“Chicken does not dehydrate well.

I use freeze dried chicken.”

“That was humor very thinly disguised as.....humor. Obviously it didn't work as humor, I'll have to try something else.


I don't like freeze-dried chicken either so I usually pack the foil pouches.”

“What if the chicken was not a real chicken, but was just working with the chicken to get inside chicken information. That chicken problably crossed the road over and over, feeding on both sides of the road. Gathering information for both sides to use. All the time, collecing feed and not reporting it to Chicken IRS.

Well, maybe not. It was just a thought.”

“It was the chicken's day off!”

“BP, I believe they refer to that as 'playing both sides of the street'.”

“The chicken crossed the road in a fruitless attempt to escape from bacpac.”

“It was stapled to the chicken.

(Sorry)”

“Why, to hop into my pot so I could make chicken and dumplings, of course!”

“You fixin' supper for Jan again...?”

“RIDGECREST, CALIF. - A chicken fined $54 for crossing a road in California has had the charge thrown out in court.

The ticket was dismissed after a lawyer for the bird's owners argued that it was domesticated, not livestock.

Under state law, it's illegal for livestock to be on highways. Domestic animals are free to get to the other side.

http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2005/05/29/chicken-050529.html”

““Having spent some time around chickens tt is clear that the real question is why wouldn't they cross the road?”
bacpac
3:14:10 PM
4/16/03

still funny”

“Q. Why did the horse cross the road?

A. Because the chicken was on vacation.

(a joke created by my daughter when she was 6 or 7 years old)”

“Because ...













He was stapled to the chicken.
(I kill me.)”

“Why did the pervert cross the road.....

do I really have to say it?











he was chasing the chicken!”

“DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to kno w if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

JUDGE JUDY: Tha t chicken cr ossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Bec ause the chicken w as gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serio us case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: "Did I miss one?"”

“'Cause it was stuck on the pervert's #&%!$...”

“Why did the Horse cross the road.

Because the chicken was on vacation.


(thats a joke my daughter made up)”

“To prove to the possum it could actually be done.”

“...Cause the grass is greener on the other side....”

“It didn't want to but it was hit by a car!”

“I know we've seen this before, but it made me smile this morning:


QUESTION: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?





DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before it goes after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his CURRENT problems before adding NEW problems.



OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.



NANCY PELOSI:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.



COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.



ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.



NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.



PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.



MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.



DR. SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.



JERRY FALWELL:

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.



GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.



BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.



JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.



ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra..#@&&^( C \ .... reboot.



ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?



BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?



AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!



COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?



DICK CHENEY:

Where's my gun?”

“Why did the rooster cross the road?





To prove he wasn't a chicken.”

“Why did the punk rocker cross the road?


He was safety-pinned to a chicken.”

“Prolly cuz me and my hubsand Gissmaeioux was tryin to smell his stinky butt so he rund the nother way like a skeerdy chikken!

Or mebbe he was goin to get a chikken eg in ower truk like that time at Chips hous when a chikken got a chikken eg in ower truk -BOL!”

“Why did the chicken run across the road....




She didn't want to lay it on the line”

“Why did the horse cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.”

“Why did the chicken cross the road?



Because that's where the party was.”

“Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet: That is not the question.”