Take your troll to work today!

“Ultrapecker, you doing anything today. Wanna file some papers for me?”

“That's funny!!

I'll file some papers for you!

You'll be a registered republican by sundown!”

“Lmao! We'll see, my friend. We'll see...”

“Where do you work treebeard?”

“I work for a law firm in Manhattan. You're not going to stalk me now, are you? j/k”

“I do paralegal and clerical work for these godforsaken attorneys...”

“No stalking.

I work for a county sheriffs office.

We actually have a little bit in common.”

“That's true. Hey man, I like good political debate with ya, even if it gets a little heated every now and then...

What state are you in?”

“My profile says Mississippi but I live in Indiana. Mississippi is just a joke, like my profile.

No hard feelings on the political debate.”

“eeewww are you ywo going to kiss?”

“really are you??”

“maple wants to watch!! :-D”

“No tongue though!”

“treebeard doesn't have a tongue?”

“ok first off, this bothers me in SO MANY ways!!

think about there names here for a moment shall we


treebead
ultrapecker


need i say anything more?”

“I can't say anything. I don't have a tongue!”

“You people are weird! ;)
I hope no one thought I was ULTRAPeeker. ;)”

“Who? Us?”

“I vould like to go to vork viss someone today, so I could say sinks like, "If it bleeds, vee can kill it," and "Hasta la vista, baybee."”

“Ahhhnnoold, I have a job for you. There is a lawyer here who may just as well be the anti-christ. If anyone ever needed anger management, it's this mofo. So, you mission, should you decide to accept it, is to come to this firm and walk into his office, say your famous lines about bleeding and stuff, and proceed to crush his head like a grape. Interest you?”

“HELLO NEWMAN!”

“Ha, Maple. You guessed it!”

“No way could he fit all his damn trools in a cube. It'd be like the Little Rascles invade the offices of the IRS.”

“I vill accept ze job!!

First, you must soak him in ze gasoline, zen I vill toss him a match und say, "How about a light?"

If zat does not vork, I vill tell him you vill qvit, und say, "Considah zat a divorce!"

As a last resort, I vill vait until he gets a paper cut, und say, "If it bleeds, vee can kill it."”

“Don't forget to tell him that you like him, and you will kill him last!”

“But he lies!”

“Right!”