Wife won't cook dinner?

“What a fool.”

“Wife won't make dinner, police won't come, the poor baby!”

“He should just withhold sex. Wait a minute, that's what women do!”

“Outstanding.”

“When I don't make dinner, wifey takes me out. Works for me! :-)”

“Maple, are you going to bring in the NYPD if I stop cooking?”

“Boring, bitpusher. I bet you're the guy at work who everyone avoids, due to your annoying habit of boring the hell out of everyone”

“G00SE is getting a real kick out of doing the cooking lately. Until last night his greatest claims to cooking fame were "The World's BEST Oatmeal" and "Darn Good Sandwiches". Last night he made spaghetti with meatballs. He's unstopable, I tell ya!”

“You misspelled baiter, master!”

“What the use in having a wife if she won't make dinner?
*StoveStomper cuts and runs*”

“Master Hiker


Who left the door open?”

“sorry stove but,

I trained my man right!”

“Booy, isn't this novel? A nasty troll on TT. How original...”

“Those wacky Brits!

BTW, did anybody notice in the article bit linked that there was a link to another interesting article about those wacky Brits?”

“I like those blokes more and more...”

“Geez...I would get life for all the times I don't do my "wifely" duties!!!”

“If only life worked that way crazy...if only... ::sigh:: ;o)”

“poor tree is so spolied......
.yeah right!”

“Okay, I don't have a wife yet so I have to fend for myself. I'm trying to bake boneless skinless chicken thighs...however, I can't figure out the best way to bake chicken. Should you cover the pan with aluminum foil or leave it uncovered? Should you wrap the chicken with foil? Any suggestions and recipes would be great.”

“just for future reference, you should check out the Southern Living Cookbook - all good recipies. SOme are fairly involved but others aren't.”

“somebody talking about me??”

“I dunno Gem, did your husband call the police when you refused to cook? Bitpusher did.”

“One way: dip them in egg and batter them with Italian flavored breadcrums. Top with a pat of butter and bake, open faced at 350 degrees for about an hour. Yum!

Or you can do a BBQ sauce mixture and coat them, cooking in the same fashion. No need to cover them. Just watch your heat and make sure not to burn them and dry them out”

“Well how did the chicken turn out?”

“We'll never know; he's probably dead.

Sorry Dub.”

“Just don't repeat the Phaedrus Toxic Chicken Experiment. Homeland Security will be ringing your doorbell in no time.

You really ought to check this Internet Thing... I'll bet you get 10,000 hits on 'baked chicken'.


('AltaVista found 26,183 results')”

“Hey Dub, if you've survived, I'll give you my recipe for chicken and dumplings.

This recipe is the main reason my wife stays married to me.”

“I want that recipe bitpusher. I might be able to rope me a man! LOL J/K”

“Awww, Tango, you don't need my recipe to do that!

But it never hurts. Okay, here goes.

Chicken
1 whole chicken. Yes, there's a lot of chicken in this recipe.

Get a big pot, and I mean big, like 16 quart at least. Cut up the chicken into pieces, and put everything except the heart into the pot. I toss the heart because I think it's gross. Fill the pot with water and salt liberally. I'm guessing, oh, at least 3-4 table spoons? I dunno, I salt this by taking the morton salt container, opening it and pouring salt in for 2-3 seconds. That's usually about right, although I got too much in the last time. IT WAS STILL GOOD THOUGH.

Turn up the heat until the water boils, then turn it back down so that it's still boiling, but not rapidly. Boil the chicken for two hours, adding water as necessary to keep the pot reasonably full.

When the chicken is fully cooked, the meat will be falling off of the bones. This is the tricky part. Using some sort of slotted spoon or skimmer, remove all the bones from the broth. If chicken is still attached, that's okay, put everything on a plate. If you really, really want to be sure, once you get all the big pieces out, run the broth through a colander and into another large pot. Otherwise, skim the pot, dipping deep into the bottom, with the slotted spoon until you've pulled out every bone.

Then, separate the chicken meat from the bones and cartilage and toss it back in to the broth, which should still be simmering. I always make sure that the gizzard comes out at this point, but that the liver and sweetmeats go back in.

Congratulations, you've made chicken broth.

Dumplings:

I follow a pretty standard biscuit recipe, except I make it with less shortening and only enough milk to wet the ingredients.

2 cups all-purpose flour. I like White Lily.
1 Tablespoon baking powder
2 teaspoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 Tablespoons shortening (Crisco, baby!)
1/2 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Mix the first four ingredients together, then cut the shortening into the dry mix. I have a shortening cutter to do this with, but a spoon will work, although it will take more time. The resulting mix will look like coarse-ground meal when you're done. Then, mix the soda and the milk together, and add to the dry mix. You should end up with a ball of dough. Add a little more milk if you need to to pick up all the dry mix.

Turn that out onto a floured surface, and knead it. Southern flours like White Lily are really soft, and you have to knead even biscuit dough for a little texture in the biscuit. In this case, you're trying to make a dumpling, so knead it about twice as long, maybe 15-20 times. Then, with a floured rolling pin, roll the dough out until it's uniformly between 1/8 and 1/4 inch thick.

The broth should be bubbling still at this point, because you have to cook the dumplings. Take a butter knife and cut strips off of the dough, and tear pieces of the strips and toss into the broth. When you tear the strips into pieces, they should almost snap when you pull them apart. Nice and tough.

Once you have all the dough pieces in the broth, let them cook for about 10 minutes, or until they have reduced in size. Avoid stirring the mixture while the dough is puffed up, you might break up some of the dumplings. BTW, this is the point where you really appreciate having a big stock pot. The dumplings puff up really BIG.


This makes a soupy chicken and dumplings that should be served in a bowl, but there's no reason that you couldn't reduce (that is, thicken by evaporation through cooking) the broth before putting the dumplings in to make it thicker.

Good sides with this meal are mashed potatoes and green peas. Yum!”

“Oh, the strips should be about an inch wide, and the pieces you break off about 2 inches long. Details, details.”

“Holy sheeyat, lookit those details! Now I know why I don't cook! >8-O”

“lol, that's the version for beginners.

The short version is something like this.

Cut up chicken.
Put in pot of water for two hours.
Remove and debone chicken, add meat back to broth.
Make your favorite biscuit recipe with less shortening and enough milk to moisten. Use extra kneading to toughen the dough.
Roll out biscuit dough and divide into 1x2" pieces.
Cook dough pieces for 10 minutes in broth.
Serve.”

“oh boy! I can imagine bitpusher hovering over a huge steaming pot trying to catch chicken bones, lmao! Is it kinda like fishing with a spoon? ;)”

“Whoa Bit! That's a big recipe, I'll be sure to print it out. The chicken tonight went okay...I made two foil compartments and cooked one in a marinade and the other in BBQ as Treebeard said. Temp 350, time 35 mins. It wasn't bad but it wasn't good either...too much water.

Tilt, I did search the net via google, didn't see anything interesting...and i couldn't find anything on whether or not you should cover you pan with foil while you cook.”

“Sass...sorta...it's the hardest part of making that recipe.

Them little rib bones get away from ya...”

“So, do you try and reconstruct the chicken with the bones, Bit? Perhaps make a little cage out of it?”

“This is my easiest recipe that you can't screw up.....
3 cans of chicken breast (no chicken to boil and debone)
3 chicken boillion cubes
4 cups of H20
Salt & pepper to taste
Boil above for 10 minutes

Next take the Brand name- Kettle Dumplins from frozen section at Wally World
Place them one by one in the boiling water
U have the best dumplins that takes a total of about 20 minutes to cook!”

“I try and save the wishbone for my kids, but that's about it, lol...”

“Cheater!

lol, that sounds pretty good.

Dub, trust me though man, if you know your way around a kitchen and can cook stuff from scratch, there's really nothing more impressive to a woman.

Well, that and a good footrub.”

“Bit's right. I'm a proficient cook and now I can't get anyone else in the family to do it.

Double edged sword!”

“Heh Heh, I know a few other tricks ...”

“put your skinless, boneless chicken berasts in a baking dish. it's ok to use frozen.
spread with mayo.
sprinkle with garlic powder.
sprinkle breadcrumbs ontop, with a some italian herb blend mixed in.
salt, pepper, and a bit of butter on top.
bake 350 maybe 30min or 40-50 if using frozen chicken.

this is not pretty to look at, but is really good. and super easy too. i bet you could use thighs instead, just use less mayo.”

“Bit's right. I'm a proficient cook and now I can't get anyone else in the family to do it.

Double edged sword!"
Treebeard
08:37:59 AM


HAHAHAHAHA sucka...”

“fast and easy:
put your skinless, boneless chicken berasts in a baking dish. it's ok to use frozen.
spread with mayo.
sprinkle with garlic powder.
sprinkle breadcrumbs ontop, with a some italian herb blend mixed in.
salt, pepper, and a bit of butter on top.
bake 350 maybe 30min or 40-50 if using frozen chicken.

this is not pretty to look at, but is really good. and super easy too. i bet you could use thighs instead, just use less mayo.
oh, and if you are cooking dinner for your hot date, then coat each piece of meat individually, makes it look nicer”

“how did that happen??”

“Place boneless skinless chicken breasts in baking dish, cover with salsa (mild or hot - your choice).

Bake in 350 deg oven uncovered for about 20 minutes or so, turn over the chicken pieces and add salsa to that side. After another 15 minutes or so, add shredded cheddar & mozzarella, or pepperjack cheese.

Continue to bake until cheese is melted.

Serve.

Yummy! Had it last night with alfredo noodles. Sour cream makes a good garnish on the chicken and a nice looking topper on the red salsa too!”

“that sounds good”

“Footrub, huh?

Damn.

All these years I've been rubbing the wrong thing?


(LMAO)”

“And the trouble with showing them you can cook is they end up wanting you to do it all the time. It's like showing them you're good at other things.... there's no peace after that ;o)”