I'VE REALLY GOT TO PEE!

“I've got to pee and I cant go to mountains this weekend because of responsibilities. I really could use a tree to pee on, the closest I have is a utility pole! Is there a catalog available that maybe has something like a blow-up tree, or a pocket bush(pardon the unintended pun) that could help with the "pee-on-a-tree" jones? PLEASE, someone help me! Wonder if Ted Nugent has one?”

“can't you just go pee of the porch?”

“i have to pee....”

“drip.....drip.....drip......slosh...swish....slosh.....”

“Cant pee off porch. Whole neiborhood goes into a hysterical laugh that really messes with my esteem issues.”

“Is there anybody out here from EastTexas, SW OK, S ARK? Po' boys but not whitetrash.”

“Saw an ad about gear-testing. Said anyone could enter if they had a picture or video of themselves backpacking. Honestly now, who carries a video camera backpacking? Hey soloists, arent those old disposable camera self portraits unique?”

“twoarrows, i go down to broken bow and idabelle OK all the time for my job. i love that drive and often stop and soak in the beauty of the quachita mountains.”

“You better not pee on any of Treebeard's friends...”

“Do you have any old Ted Nugent albums?”

“'under the bleachers' by I P Freely”

“i have them all tiltie la pew...real vinal even....too bad my turntable hasn't worked in 9 years....”

“Hard to find a stylus, Strat. Isn't it?”

“yup! that's the problem. oh i found one.....FOR A HUNDRED BUCKS! i've got 600 albums of killer music just sittin there, takin up space.....”

“me too, man! I have lots of collector items from the radio jobs that aren't available on CD. I have two turntables from the old disc jockey days. One has needle. I haven't done parties in years, so I only replaced one...

Funny thing is, you walk into a shop and ask a pimply faced kid for a stylus and he will no doubt give you a look like you just landed from Pluto!

You get my e mail earlier today, Strat?”

“I think Nugent albums would work well if you can't find that tree you're looking for, LOL

I saw Ted once, back in his 'heyday'. He ran around like a fool for an hour and a half while the rest of the band played and sang. What a fake.”

“Styli are out there, you just have to know where to look. I have three set up and working turntables at my house right now. (Down from five)

Strat, you may want to consider the value of 600 albums versus $100 bucks?...also, were they trying to sell you a whole cartridge and stylus, or just the stylus? $100 seems steep for any stylus alone. What kind of table is it?”

“stratdewd, i guess you've been up on Bladk Fork Mtn., huh? Its neat w/ the old stone chimney and stone fences crossing it. Hard to believe people lived up there. the spring on top is cool. Sweet water it is! Hard to bearbag in those old 15' tall oaks. lungbuster 4 me getting up there. its cool on top tho. gets damn cold in Jan + Feb. havent been there in 3yrs or so. have considered riding a mule up then hiking down in a couple days sometime. Lotsa bear sign last i was up there, turkey too. Iced in my tent one time, came out 1:30pm, saw fullgrown Bald Eagle 100yds in front of me at eye level over Ouichita River soaring and calling! If that dont put a lump in a body's throat, they must be dead. See ya.”

“What"s the use? Not thinking---Good!”

“Inquiring minds want to know. Now that the pee bottle issue has pretty much been laid to rest I was hoping to open a new avenue of discussion.

Exactly how does one go about using a ziplock bag to pee in? Is tent headspace a big issue? Is the size of the bag corospondant to the size of the person or the amount of booz they have taken in? And as always, what's the asparagus factor?”

“LMAO.....I used a gallon bag at Sipsey....not sure what size cottonsocks used at Savage Gulf...I am sure she didn't need one as big as mine...LMAO...hahahaha”

“This is a great deal more than I want to know.”

“What if the bag pops?”

“Not a bad idea, Nigal. Those wide mouth Nalgenes are way too small for me. A ziplock might accomidate!”

“You wish, Q.”

“Maybe the snack size would.”

“I don't think I trust the zip closures on those bags that much.”

“okay, I've heard of this before and always wondered but was always to afraid to ask. Just what the hell is the point? Whatever happened to adopting a tree?”

“Ivy .......I was in Sipsey Wilderness in Alabama...and we had seen copperheads earlier....and the last thing that was said to me was "watch out for snakes".....about 2 am I REALLY had to go.....and I was NOT going out of my tent...so...I used a gallon baggie.........”

“ok, I can see how there might be special circumstances. But I think in general any night time peeing will occur outside the tent!”

“I'm sure a kind fellow TT'er would have rendered first aid if you were bit in the arse ;-)”

“yes...I'm sure.....and it may be fun!!!!..but copperheads and a few miles from anywhere......scare the he!! out of me....besides..I was sleeping next to a cliff.....one wrong move & a plung to my death........OOOOOOoooooooo.......”

“If you stir the leaves with a stick the snakes will leave :-)”

“if you step on them ...they will bite you......”

“If you pee on them you will warm them...”

“Can you poop in a baggie?-)”

“not going to try .......unless I ever have to....I suppose I could......(ewwww)”

“What a discussion”

“talk about low impact hiking lol”

“Imagine waking up in the middle of
the night with raging diarhea so
bad you don't have time to get up.
Laying on your side you pull you
trous just enough to uncover your
pan,grab what's available to control the tide?
I got that from wading across a
polluted river.”

“gives thought to carrying a few
of the trash bags with which they
line the short classroom size
trash cans... they weigh next to
nothing and could be used for any
number of things”

“well....I was scared of snakes and it worked.....I did learn the hard way not to use wet wipes in 17 degrees

:0”

“Did they freeze?”

“IT froze......”

“Try those chemical handwarmers!”

“you may like to think that special circumstances are the reason, but I bet lots of people do this regularly. It's way easier than leaving your tent, especially when it's cold , or you think the boogie-man might be out there. If only I could figure out how to use a bottle inside my hammock....any ideas girls?”

“I meant pee-bottle ---NOT the other situation elfskin is experienced with!! no trashbags for me please!”

“zip lock freezer bags...no leaks...LOL”

“divinity, I hope that is not your answer to my hammock dilemma! I imagine using a bag in there would be even more awkward than my bottle.”

“yeah... I was referring to
elfskin's problem. Can't imagine
the trash bag and a hammock either.
I was just thinking 3 or 4 might
not be bad to have for whatever.”