BAN OREOS!

“SAN FRANCISCO, California (Reuters) -- A lawyer who has spent much of his life enjoying Oreo cookies has sued Kraft Foods Inc. seeking to ban the much-loved cookies in California because they contain trans fat, an ingredient he calls inedible.

In an interview on Monday, Joseph said, "I am probably full of hydrogenated fat because until two years ago I didn't know about it. I resent the fact that I have been eating that stuff all my life."

Article

And... you can get the "Don't Partially Hydrogenate me!" T-shirt!”

“Yuck, I have a bag of oreos in my pantry. I was going to feed my kids one of the classic inedible incredible cookies (say that three times fast).”

“Just tell your kids you don't want to partially hydrogenate them!”

“no more Crisco filling?? NOOOOOOO!!
;-)

actually, i've been trying to eat no partially hydrogenated stuff myself. it should have occurred to me to sue someone! dammit.”

“BAN OREOS?

YOU BASTARD!!”

“Maybe we could join a class action suit! Let's get Chili on this one right away.”

“Hopefully the judge on this case will reflect on a similiar decision with the fat kid's parents sueing McDonald's for a similiar reason.

Eat less, work out more, it's not that hard, people! Jeez...”

“Partially hydrogenated oil isn't really any worse for you than lard, butter, or the animal fat in meat. These people lawsuit-happy really need a better hobby.”

“They're just plain nasty!”

“This guy probably got fat eating to many Oreo's and now he wants revenge. Kinda like the guy who sued McDonald's after he gained like 300 lbs.”

“Ynamiynami, are you dipping them in milk? It's really the only way to eat them.




So, are they going to sue the Dairy industry over the fat in whole milk?”

“That will probably be next. Then the farmer who owned the cow.”

“ynami- You have to remember to scrape the filling off with your front teeth first. Then eat the cookie part!”

“I've never come to terms with the whole concept of Oreos, if you're gonna have a cookie then there are much better ones out there.”

“Try the Double Stuff. You may change your mind ; ) .”

“MMMMMM Double Stuff!”

“Maybe they should re-name them "Little Wheels of Death"
or
"Trans-Fatty-O's"”

“"Maybe we could join a class action suit! Let's get Chili on this one right away."
aero
08:35:08 AM
05/13/03

I'll get started on it as soon as I finish off this bag of Oreos with a glass of milk.”

“What ever happened to people taking responsiblity for there own actions? Didn't it occur to this person to read the label? Isn't "ignorance of the law no excuse"?”

“Can we sue the entire food industry for not producing as their only product a nutritious, non-fattening pap that provides all necessary vitamins, nutrients, minerals, and trace essentials, delivered in a computer-controlled vessel which will only deliver the necessary number of calories to one human being on the planet, and tastes awful, so that I'm never, ever tempted to eat something that might be bad for me, or too much of anything?”

“lol.. they were talking about this on the radio this morning. Geez, talk about claiming your 15 minutes of fame!!

I can hear the judge now. "Ummm.. Mr Joseph, your suit is frivolous and a waste of this court's time. Did it ever occur to you, that since adults (over the age of 18)do 95% of the grocery shopping that your ban would acomplish nothing?"”

“Wounded Knee: Actually he ain't fat, but he is a loser.. did you see this guy??.. Damn..”

“I take Double stuffs and peel off one of the cookie sides of each then make a quadruple stuff !
My Arteries are probably like lead pipes!”

“"Wheels of Death," HAHAHA!! somehow, i think that would make them even more appealing...”

“LMAO :-()”

“Applicable Rule of Federal Procedure. Most States have adopted these for State Court Actions.

Rule 11. Signing of Pleadings, Motions, and Other Papers; Representations to Court; Sanctions

(a) Signature.
Every pleading, written motion, and other paper shall be signed by at least one attorney of record in the attorney's individual name, or, if the party is not represented by an attorney, shall be signed by the party. Each paper shall state the signer's address and telephone number, if any. Except when otherwise specifically provided by rule or statute, pleadings need not be verified or accompanied by affidavit. An unsigned paper shall be stricken unless omission of the signature is corrected promptly after being called to the attention of attorney or party.

(b) Representations to Court.
By presenting to the court (whether by signing, filing, submitting, or later advocating) a pleading, written motion, or other paper, an attorney or unrepresented party is certifying that to the best of the person's knowledge, information, and belief, formed after an inquiry reasonable under the circumstances,--

(1) it is not being presented for any improper purpose, such as to harass or to cause unnecessary delay or needless increase in the cost of litigation;

(2) the claims, defenses, and other legal contentions therein are warranted by existing law or by a nonfrivolous argument for the extension, modification, or reversal of existing law or the establishment of new law;

(3) the allegations and other factual contentions have evidentiary support or, if specifically so identified, are likely to have evidentiary support after a reasonable opportunity for further investigation or discovery; and

(4) the denials of factual contentions are warranted on the evidence or, if specifically so identified, are reasonably based on a lack of information or belief.

(c) Sanctions.
If, after notice and a reasonable opportunity to respond, the court determines that subdivision (b) has been violated, the court may, subject to the conditions stated below, impose an appropriate sanction upon the attorneys, law firms, or parties that have violated subdivision (b) or are responsible for the violation.

(1) How Initiated.

(A) By Motion. A motion for sanctions under this rule shall be made separately from other motions or requests and shall describe the specific conduct alleged to violate subdivision (b). It shall be served as provided in Rule 5, but shall not be filed with or presented to the court unless, within 21 days after service of the motion (or such other period as the court may prescribe), the challenged paper, claim, defense, contention, allegation, or denial is not withdrawn or appropriately corrected. If warranted, the court may award to the party prevailing on the motion the reasonable expenses and attorney's fees incurred in presenting or opposing the motion. Absent exceptional circumstances, a law firm shall be held jointly responsible for violations committed by its partners, associates, and employees.

(B) On Court's Initiative. On its own initiative, the court may enter an order describing the specific conduct that appears to violate subdivision (b) and directing an attorney, law firm, or party to show cause why it has not violated subdivision (b) with respect thereto.

(2) Nature of Sanction; Limitations. A sanction imposed for violation of this rule shall be limited to what is sufficient to deter repetition of such conduct or comparable conduct by others similarly situated. Subject to the limitations in subparagraphs (A) and (B), the sanction may consist of, or include, directives of a nonmonetary nature, an order to pay a penalty into court, or, if imposed on motion and warranted for effective deterrence, an order directing payment to the movant of some or all of the reasonable attorneys' fees and other expenses incurred as a direct result of the violation.

(A) Monetary sanctions may not be awarded against a represented party for a violation of subdivision (b)(2).

(B) Monetary sanctions may not be awarded on the court's initiative unless the court issues its order to show cause before a voluntary dismissal or settlement of the claims made by or against the party which is, or whose attorneys are, to be sanctioned.

(3) Order. When imposing sanctions, the court shall describe the conduct determined to constitute a violation of this rule and explain the basis for the sanction imposed.”

“No offense Chili, but did anyone else just feel their eyes glaze over?



Now I know how my son feels.”

“LOL, skully, that is one of the prime reasons I prefer to be attached to an operational division instead of down the hall with the lawyers.”

“the suit is based on a california law regarding "inedible" substances used in food products. i believe the plaintiff is an attorney, i think i heard from britain.

i wonder how he'll prove damages, if he gets to that stage. this has summary judgment written all over it.

this guy may be looking at sanctions if his lawsuit is deemed frivolous.”

“(3) Order. When imposing sanctions, the court shall describe the conduct determined to constitute a violation of this rule and explain the basis for the sanction imposed."

They'll order Nabisco to come up with a new filling:

Tofu-O's!”

“YAY!!”

“I scrape out the sugary crisco stuff and just eat the cookiepart.”

“I only eat em if i get them free :)”

“and lawyers wonder why they are held in such low esteem...”

“"and lawyers wonder why they are held in such low esteem..."
gordon
11:19:38 AM
05/13/03


yep, it is always the actions of the few that taint the many.”

“a nutritious, non-fattening pap that provides all necessary vitamins, nutrients, minerals, and trace essentials, delivered in a computer-controlled vessel which will only deliver the necessary number of calories to one human being on the planet, and tastes awful,
--bitpusher

Anyone care for some Soylent Green? MMmmmmm!”

“I could not live without my Oreos.

Now that the subject is out there, what the heck are those Oreo people doing coming up with all these mutant Oreos cookies. White cookies with dark filling. It grosses me out. I just want my regular Oreo cookies. If it works, don't fix it.”

“you said "taint"”

“The lawsuit is being dropped. Kraft foods is trying to drop the trans fats content.”

“News article

The guy was just using the court system as a publicity tool. Is there some reason he can't be disbarred for that?”

“Forget disbarring, he should be publicly stoned by cookie eating people everywhere....”

“He should be smothered in transfat.”

“Taint nothin' but a thang.”

“2 words for ya....tort reform.”

“Now if he would have sued to ban "Spam" or liver, he might have had a groundswell of support.”

“Or cod liver oil.”

“Lovely Spaaam! Wonderful Spaaam!
Lovely Spaaam! Wonderful Spam.

Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am.
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am.
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am.
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am.

Lovely Spaaam! (Lovely Spam!)
Lovely Spaaam! (Lovely Spam!)
Lovely Spaaam!

Spaaam, Spaaam, Spaaam, Spaaaaaam!”

“Can we keep the Oreos and ban frivolous lawsuits?

If I were a lawyer I would be complaining about this guy to the ABA discipline committee.”