Prank Phone Calls

“I guess in the age of caller ID they are not as fun as they once were, but have you ever done them? What are some of your best?


I remember calling up 411 with my roommates in my first apartment and asking how to cook a 5 lb. London broil. She said it wasn't that kind of information but told us how after we begged a little. We were way too wasted to call our mothers.

Another one was right after the Weather Channel came out. We were watching the international forecast and saw a hurricane was headed for the Philippines. We called a police station there to warn him but he kept repeating that the weather was fine. I don't think he understood that we meant the storm was coming.”

“Call a bowling alley and ask if they have 10 pound balls.

When they say yes, ask them if it is hard to walk.”

“*67 disables caller ID.

heh-heh-heh-heh...



(all standard disclaimers apply)”

“The best has to still be calling somewhere and having Mike Hunt paged.”

“Yeah, I thought everybody knew about that *67.



Ummmm....I have never made prank phone calls. BTW Nigal, that often works at Walmart. I have no idea how I know that ; ) .”

“Anybody ever see CrankYankers on Comedy Central?”

“You can spend hours laughing and pissing yourself here (at leaste I did):

http://ebaumsworld.com/morepranks.shtml”

“we used to dial random naughty-sounding 800 numbers. 1-800-big-girls & so on. great fun at 2 am, even sober.”

“I have the best prank call in the world on a file here. If anyone wants it let me know it is freakin hillarious. I promise you and clean. i LMAO for hours on the same call”

“Called a company and left messages all day. Anything from farting into the receiver to trying to play a friends trumpet.”

“Tell us bbinkley!”

“A Birmingham morning program called Johnson and Johnson's customer comments line to talk with them about their product call Kentucky(KY) Jelly. They went on and on about how they used it on all sorts of stuff, but they thought it was best on biscuits. The only problem was the minty aftertaste. The lady said,
"Sir, you're not suppposed to eat it."
"You're not, well what do you do with it then?"
"It's a....lubricant, sir."
"You mean like WD-40?"
"Uhh, no sir, it's a personal lubricant."

You get the picture. I almost wet myself on that one. This is the same group of folks who had callers call in with what their porn name would be. Some of you may recall that thread from a year or two ago. Surpisingly, Radagast won that competition.”

“It's called the Honda service call. It is freakin hillarious. Email me and I'll email it back to you. It is just an mp3 file”

“Binkley, it's not the one with the lady claiming to have found a fresh, hot brown steamer in the back seat of her car when she got it back from the dealership service, is it? That one's an absolute scream.”

“that's exatcly it lmaolmaolmao..oh my gosh laughing just thinking of it”

“Yeah, i just pickd up my 92 accord from yo lot and there was a turd in da backseat.

THERE WAS A WHAT?

you heard me..a teeerrrrddd....you know pinch a loaf?

MAM, I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT ONE OF OUR GUYS DIDN"T TAKE A DUMP IN YOUR CAR.

you sound like a big burly man...it probably cam out yo @##

how much you weigh?

ABOUT 400 POUNDS

that's yo terd




LMAOLMAO”

“i'm gonna drive this car straight to my lawyers office..you gonna be on the news tonight buddy....i'm gonna get 7 on my side.
the whole world is gonna know bout dis”

“BBinkley, you have mail...this sounds funny, I gotta hear it.”

“If you guys liked that then you'd love this Mastercard spoof. It's a movie file. Download it by clicking here 1.8M and well worth the wait.”

“Are you idiots still in Junior High?

Prank phone calls? What a waste of time.

I get my kicks by goofing on the telemarketers who call me.

T: Hello is Ms. bacpac in.?

Me: No she is not. I am in her.

Next call
--------------------

T: Hello Mr. bacpac, how are you.

Me: I am drunk. (with my voice away from the phone} Jimmy, wake up that boy of mine and send him to the liquor store for more malt liquor.

Me: .....Ah Hello?

T: Yes, Mr. bacpac I am trying to sell...

Me: Huh? Who is this? (voice away from the phone) Jimmy, I don't care if he is drunk, give him my keys.

The fun goes on and on.”

“bacpac are you still in junior high?”

“I wish.”

“did anybody ever hear the one where the guy called a hardware store and kept saying over and over :buttplug and the other guy was saying yea what kind of spark plug you want”

“Ebaumsworld is so much fun Nigal! Opie and I had a blast with it one night, we called everyone we could think of.”

“Does anyone know this guy? Can anybody vouche for him?

Does he have a voucher?”

“i've heard that one 2 scoops..it's pretty funny”

“I had a telemarketer call me. He said he'd like to talk to the decision maker of the house. I said you just did, and hung up.”

“When a telemarketer calls and asks for you just go, "no im sorry he, he passed away last week" and sound sad. Works everytime.”

“i sometimes use the Drill Instructor Hartman sound board from ebaumsworld and call friends. It's freaking hilarious.”

“I've never prank called. I'm completely honest. I'd be too mortified if someone caught me.”

“I haven't made a prank call in a couple years. We used to call random people in the phonebook via www.dialpad.com when it was free. Untraceable. I even had my cousin who worked at the phone company try to trace it...couldn't do it. God I love the internet.”

“"Can anybody vouche for him?"

at first i read that as "can anybody DOUCHE for him" of course, i can hardly be blamed, since the correct spellintg is "vouch"”

“"I've never prank called. I'm completely honest"

wow, newgirl. not only are you beautiful, youre intelligent, environmentally conscious, and now, youre just so darned honest.

youre.....youre.....annoyingly perfect”

“I strive for perfection 2scoops. LOL! Why do you think I'm environmentally conscious? I mean, I'm down w/ being good to the rock we live on and everything, but where did you get that idea?”

“come on. do something bad. call the nearest bar and ask for hugh jasse. youll feel better. ill feel better.”

“im just warming up for the "king of the backhanded compliments" competition later this year”

“I'm serious. I'd just feel like a huge idiot if for some unexplainable reason I was caught. It's funny, but I just don't have any balls in this particular area. LOL!”

“looks like its just you and me, babe, alone on the board”

“ive thought about it, never done it, mainly out of laziness. i dont think id be able to keep a straight face long enough (not that would matter over the phone, huh?)”

“It's dead in here tonight for sure.”

“There's a great comedian named Tom Mabe. He's the guy that pulls all the pranks when telemarketers call. The Stanly Steamer guy calls and Tom goes into this whole thing about trying to get a bunch of blood out of the carpets and can the guy come over right now? "It's self defence ya shoot a guy in your own house right?"

A life insurance saleman calls and Tom says he's the answers to his prayers because he was just thinking about killing himself and asked G-d for a sign and he is his sign. The guy actually tried to talk him into waiting three days until the policy could go through!

Ah ha! Just found his site!

http://www.tommabe.com/”

“When I was about 10 I put my name in a contest to win a free encyclpedia. Later the salesman called, I answer the phone and he asked for Mr. Pedxing. When I heard that, I was sure it was a prank call - calling me Mr.
So I asked him:
Me: "Do you have an
appointment?"
Salesman: "No, but I would be happy to speak to him on the phone to make one."
Me: You'll need an appointment to talk to him on the phone.
Salesman: "OK how do I make one?"
Me: Well lets see, he's got time on Tuesday the 11th of March, thats not this March, but next March."
Salesman: "Isn't there anything sooner?"
Me: "No, but I could put you on a waiting list if you would like to leave your information."
S: "Is Mrs Pedxing there."
Me: Yes, do you have an appointment.
S: No, but just a minute on the phone is all...
Me: You'll need an appointment for that.
S: OK, I'd like to make one.
Me: Well, letsee there is nothing for this month, or the next.. can you wait 3 months, I've got a 3 minute slot on Wed the 11th at 9:17 PM
S: Well, is there a secretary I could talk to?
M: Yes, there Mr. Pedxing has a secretary who can speak for him. Do you have an appointment to speak with her?

And I kept going 'round and 'round - and it got to be more and more fun as I realized that this was a real Salesman. This was the late 60s - a more naive time and the guy started sounding frantic and frustrated, finally I told him there had just been a cancellation and Mrs. Ped had 4 minutes available immediately on the phone. I put my mother on. After she hung up the phone, she gave me a very odd look and said "whatever did you do to that man?"

BTW: That KY-Jelly call sounds great, I got a belly laugh just imagining it.”

“When I was running a group home for the mentally retarded (I’m not just the manager, I’m a recedent) someone called and asked for one of the guys by name. Now to set this up a bit you have to understand my buddy Frankie. Frankie was a bit autistic and he had about 10 voices he used for repeating other people. He’d walk around the house shaking his hands repeating conversations from his childhood, or he would be repeating verbatim old episodes of I dream of Genie or Bewitched. You could say something like, “Frankie, Cee senior.“ and he’d start rattling off machine gun Spanish at you. OK, this is what happened…

Me: Hello?
Person on phone: Yes is Frank ______ there?
Me: [thinking it’s a family member or someone who knows him] Sure, just a second.
Me: Here Frankie, it’s for you.
Frankie: Hello? [in his deep man’s voice]. [switches to his high woman’s voice at hearing the person on the phone] Oh hi! How are you doing? Oh really? Mom said she was going to come around. [switching to angry Mom’s voice] OH Frankie look at you! Frankie! Why did you s h I t your pants!? Oh my gawd Frankie! [back to deep male voice] Here, she wants to talk to you.
Me: Hello?
Person on phone: [angry] Is this Frank ______?
Me: No, you were just talking to him.
Person on phone: This is dr. so and so. I’m trying to confirm an appointment for Frank _____.
Me: Ohhhhhhhh, OK. He’ll be there.

Frankie was a frickin’ hoot and we had many great times like this together!”

“A couple of weeks ago, I got a call on a Saturday from a woman trying to sell me a mortgate. Over the phone.


So I denied all knowledge of what a mortgage was.

This flummoxed her fairly well, but true to her telemarketer nature, she kept trying, basically not believing that I didn't know what a mortgage was, then, when I kept saying I didn't know what she was talking about, trying to explain it to me.

She then said she thought I was pulling her leg. I then denied knowing what a leg was. She was really beginning to get annoyed at this point. So I took the phone over to the television and held the receiver up to the speaker so she could hear the music that was playing (from the Batman movie my son was watching). When I heard her saying "Hello, are you still there?" I put the phone back up to my mouth and said, "That was really cool music, wasn't it?"

That was the last straw for her, and she got pissy with me. "Well, I think my conversation is very cool too," she said. So I stopped being politely strange and got pissy right back at her.

"What's not cool about your conversation is that I didn't ask to have it," I told her. "So you can put me on your 'do not call' list, and never call back again." Then I hung up on her.

Lots of fun, but I get really agitated. I told my wife I have to just start hanging up on them again, messing with them is just too stressful.”

“My phone number is one digit off from a local Bar/Liquor store and I'd get calls at all hours from people asking if the liquor store was open.

Or they'd ask if we sold liquor and I say say, "Yes, we have liquor up front and poker in the rear" (I stole that from Stockman's in Missoula)

But the best was when some woman called for her husband or boyfriend and I'd say "Oh, that wasn't you he just left with?"”

“Yeah Aero, I've done that o few times, just slightly different.

I would get a call from a young girl asking for some guy. I would ask her name and then say "No, he's not here right now, he went out with Mary tonight"

When the wife heard me do it one night she actually got pissed at me. She was afraid I was going to get that young boy into some kind of trouble!!!”

“he has a cd of a bunch of phone pranks he made... pretty funny...

you can find it on cdnow or ___whupper.com - fill in the blanks with another word for your posterior...”

“Call a random number and leave a message for Frankie.
"Tell Frankie that Bob cannot go fishing tomorrow".

Leave different messages from different people through the evening, all for Frankie.

Then call, "this is Frankie, are there any messages for me?"
This may have to wait until they put the phone back on the hook.
------------------------

Or look up a number for a person named Brown in the phone book, call and ask for Mr. Green. When they tell you you have the wrong number ask who they are. Answer Brown apologise with "Sorry, wrong color"”