Jesus faked

“I would NOT NOT NOT stoop to suggest that Jesus had an addiction to RUGS. He may have . . but that wasn't my point at all.

I meant to say he was probably a DRUG addict.”

“Nigal --

This will no doubt suprise you . . .but after two Sunday school classes . . . I was uh . . . .discouraged from coming back. It seems I was approaching the subject with a little too much scepticism for the average 7 year old.

THe only other "formal" religious training I had was going to youth pilgrim fellowship as a 17 year old.

I knew I was going just to get into a girls pants. Her friends knew it. She probably knew it.


But those darn christians were so nice and forgiving that they just ignored it . .and me. I got was i was going for . .so I was happy.

I read the bible a couple of times. cover to cover old and new.

Read some Thomas Merton and other folks. Tried praying for insight . . . .but we broke up anyway and I started getting some from non-christians. Rather than prayer circles we'd play drinking games.”

“Sunday school teacher: And then Jesus stepped out on the water and walked to the boat they were in and…

Lee: Coughbullchitcough!

Sunday school teacher: LEE!! What have I told you about blaspheming our lord and savior!

Lee: Ah, suck it lady!

Something like that?”

“Something like that . .. .

I actually don't think I got as far as creationism . . .

In fact, that is where it ground to a halt. I entered the class, they were talking about Jesus and stuff. I asked who Jesus was . . .son of God etc etc, the path to heaven etc etc.

So I ask . . . who is God. "he created heaven and earth, sun and moon, you and me etc etc etc" Sent his only son down as a sacrifce etc etc"

ME: Dat's bullchit . . .I come from monkeys!

Teacher: I can see that.”

“D@mn! I had the same chit happen to me when I left the church at age 10! Good to see that I'm not the only outcast!!


Re: Jesus and gettin' his head together - He's the original Hippie! I would hedge a bet the that reason nobody talked about that little time he was away, it would have hurt his fledgling religion. You gotta remember that when JC came back, there were all kinds of peeps throwing all kinds of stuff out there in Palastine (I can't spell it....) JC pissed off too many people and paid.

Is there a GOD?

I think this sez it best:

"Hookie religions and ancient ways are no subsitute for a good blaster at your side...."”

“Han Solo?”

“Nailed it!”

“Buck - I agree with your comments and interpretations. By far the religious community agrees that Jesus was not married.

Paul's reference to remaining unmarried is generally interpreted to mean that it is easier to serve God in ministry if you have no other commitments (e.g., a family)...but only if you can remain celebate with out any problems.

God seems to expect married couples to enjoy sex together. The Song of Solomon in the Old Testament and passages in the New Testament seem to support that.”

“NEW YORK (AP) -- Andy Rooney set the phone and e-mail lines at CBS buzzing over his commentary -- in which he said God was speaking through him -- calling Mel Gibson and the Rev. Pat Robertson "wackos."

On Sunday's broadcast, Rooney commented on Robertson's January statement that he believes God has told him that President Bush would be re-elected in a "blowout" in November.

Rooney said God had spoken to him, saying, "I wish you'd tell your viewers that both Pat Robertson and Mel Gibson strike me as wackos."

"They're crazy as bedbugs, another earthly expression," Rooney said, quoting God. "I created bedbugs. I tell you, they're no crazier than people."




God told Pat that Bush would be re-elected in a "blowout" ?

And what will that say about God if that doesn't happen?

And why is God getting involved in politics anyway? Am I supposed to worship a god that has predetermined the election?”

“*

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/24/tv.passion.rooney.ap/index.html

*”

“God told Pat that Bush would be re-elected in a "blowout"? And what will that say about God if that doesn't happen?

Hi USA®! What will it say about God if Pat Robertson is wrong? Well, quite obviously, it won't say anything about God, but it will say volumes about Pat Robertson.

And why is God getting involved in politics anyway? Am I supposed to worship a god that has predetermined the election?

You're not "supposed" to worship anything or anyone unless you want to. It's the magic of free will. Worship or not worship as you choose. And I for one certainly don't base my beliefs on guys like Pat Robertson, or any man for that matter. Not one iota. Men will fail you and let you down, God will not. Too many folks seem to judge Christianity on guys like Pat Robertson, or Oral Roberts, or Jimmy Swaggart, or the TBN folks with big wigs and lots of makeup strummin' banjos and blowin' on harmonicas in between requests for donations while they predict the end of the world tomorrow. If that appeals to some folks, fine, who am I to judge, but I just read the Bible and fellowship with God and hike through His creation. When these folks are caught in hypocritical sin or scandals or false prophecies, it does nothing to shake my steadfast faith, because they are just fallible men and I place no religious trust in them whatsoever.

As for politics, obviously there are fine Christian people ranging from liberal to conservative, so it's not like God is a registered Democrat or Republican. He's an Independent. :Þ”

“he might have fked a orgasm, but you know he really had to take #&%!$, and all those people jumping up and down yelling jimmy made him nervous.

BTw I forgot my atroll password after my trip”

“Pat Robertson won't be wrong, GOD will be. God gave the info. God speaks to people. God will be a joke if Bush doesn't win in a blowout.”

“you said "oral"”

“I think the whole thing is hilarious.”

“Yeah, and that huricane won't hit Virvinia Beach last summer...”

“god is a libertarian”

“MILAN, Italy (Reuters) -- Italian scientists have found a matching image of a man's face and possibly his hands on the back of the Turin shroud, believed by many to be the burial cloth of Jesus Christ, one of the researchers said on Thursday.

The discovery that the ghostly image on the back of the linen cloth matches the face that adorns the front is likely to reignite debate over whether the shroud is genuine or a skilful medieval fraud.

"The fact that the image is two-sided makes any forgery difficult," Professor Giulio Fanti of the University of Padua told Reuters.

The findings of Fanti and Roberto Maggiolo, both from the university's department of mechanical engineering, were published this week by a journal of the Institute of Physics in London.

Fanti said the discovery would support those who maintain the cloth is genuine.

The shroud, one of Christianity's most sacred but most disputed relics, is a piece of linen some 14 feet long and 3 feet 7 inches wide.

It first appeared in France in the 14th century and has been held in the Italian city of Turin since 1578.

For over 600 years the debate has raged over the origin of the image of a tall, bearded man bearing the marks of crucifixion that can be seen on the front of the shroud.

Experts over the years say they have found traces of blood, pollen or soil typical of Jerusalem, where Christians believe Jesus was crucified.

But 15 years ago three separate laboratories said carbon dating indicated the shroud was no older than the 13th or 14th century. Researchers concluded the shroud was a hoax created for the hugely profitable medieval pilgrimage business.

While the front of the shroud has been studied intensively over the years, the back had remained hidden under a piece of Holland cloth which was sewn by nuns to cover up damage caused by a fire.

That protective layer was removed in 2002 for restoration and the back of the cloth was photographed.


Some say the figure's hands bear the marks of crucifixion.
The two scientists said they studied these photographs and used mathematical and optical techniques to process the images.

They found that the face that can be seen on the reverse of the shroud matches that of the front.

"We can detect the presence of a nose, eyes, hair, beard and moustache on the back surface that correspond in place, form, position and scale to those of the front," Fanti said.

Speculation has also grown over who created the image. One theory maintains it was the work of Leonardo da Vinci, who pioneered an early photograph technique and put his own face on the shroud.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/04/15/italy.shroud.reut/index.html

*”

“I forgot this was a Gear thread ---”

“To keep this gear oriented, I was wondering if anyone makes a shroud in silnylon and only in 3/4 length. I'm trying to cut down weight on my pilgrimmages.

It'd be a big plus if it could also be used as a hammock when I don't need it for wrapping a body.”

“If you can do that weird irradiation thing, it could be used for identification purposes.”

“WASHINGTON (AP) -- An expedition is being planned for this summer to the upper reaches of Turkey's Mount Ararat where organizers hope to prove an object nestled amid the snow and ice is Noah's Ark.

A joint U.S.-Turkish team of 10 explorers plans to make the arduous trek up Turkey's tallest mountain, at 17,820 feet, from July 15 to August 15, subject to the approval of the Turkish government, said Daniel P. McGivern, president of Shamrock- The Trinity Corporation of Honolulu, Hawaii.

The goal: to enter what they believe to be a mammoth structure some 45 feet high, 75 feet wide and up to 450 feet long that was exposed in part by last summer's heat wave in Europe.

"We are not excavating it. We are not taking any artifacts. We're going to photograph it and, God willing, you're all going to see it," McGivern said.

Explorers have long searched for an ark on the high slopes of Mount Ararat, where the biblical account of the Great Flood places it.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/04/26/noah.ark.ap/index.html

Those clever bible never envisioned kangaroos in Australia. Or maybe the great flood only flooded Europe thereby completely fooling gravity.”

“Are you saying the bible isn't the literal word of God? No way! I never would have guessed it. I really thought those ancient semi-nomadic sheep herders were on to something...”

“Love, exciting and new
Come Aboard. We're expecting you.
Love, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you.

Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
Yes Looooooove! It's Looooooove!”

“We got into a discussion with the kids about the literal interpretation of the Bible. We used the story of Noah's Ark as an example....

OK, lets say you actually have two of every creature on the planet...now since evolution isn't real (according to many), that means more then just two cows, two chickens and two dogs...doesnt it mean two of every possible type?

Lets just assume that they are talking about two lions, two tigers, two mountain lions, two leopards, two bobcats, etc....how much room do you need to carry food for these carnivores. That means you are going to need a whole lot more then two sheep for example...you have to have enough smaller animals to feed the bigger ones. That means you need to also carry extra food, to feed the food.

Just how much grain does one need to feed two cows, two sheep, two goats, etc, for 40 + days. Remember even after the water drops, it's going to be months before the land becomes self sustaining again.

Oh yea, you gotta have a lot of breeding going on the continuous feed the carnorves...remember.

The logistic's begin to get a bit stretched out....either that, or a cubit was several miles long.”

“Years ago, during one of our full moon hikes I got into a similar discussion with a Minister. He asked me if I believed in Genesis or the Big Bang theory...I told him they were the same thing.

Genesis is how you would explain the Big Bang theory to a six year old...he just stared for a moment then said...yea, I suppose so.”

“That means you are going to need a whole lot more then two sheep for example...you have to have enough smaller animals to feed the bigger ones.

Christofascist idiots will respond that the carnivores weren't yet carnivores, that only after the great flood were they allowed to eat other animals. Before, they were vegetarians.

As completely totally stupid inane dumbsh*t retarded as that sounds, some people truly believe it. All so their little book remains literally true in their tiny little minds.

Christians are idiots.”

“Christofascist idiots [...] Christians are idiots
Mutt
10:17:35 AM
04/27/04

Ah, good ole Mutt.

Such a shining example of love and tolerance.”

“I read about evidence that the "Great Flood" may actually have happened when the Mediterranean Sea broke through the Bosphorus into the Black Sea.

It was an event that would have taken weeks for the water in the Black Sea area to rise.

There is evidence that the lower depths of the Black Sea are fresh water trapped by lighter salt water since the flood.

To the primitive people of the time their area was "the world" and their entire world flooded.

The tale was likely handed down over generations and evolved into the "wrath of god" story that so many people take for true.

There is no way that there could be a boat on Mount Arafat, uh, Ararat, lying undiscovered for all these years and still be anything left of it.”

“I saw a "documentary" about this matter about ten years ago.

Oddly enough, no one has been able to photograph this thing and live to show or tell.

They made me laugh when they came up with a "witness" who had seen this thing.

A member of his party photographed the thing and while trying to position himself for another shot, he and the camera fell off a cliff and the "evidence" vanished.

I've seen better stories in the National Enquirer or the World Weekly News.”

“Ah, good ole Mutt.

Such a shining example of love and tolerance

:D

Good to know I'm still a valued member of Trail Talk.”