Why PETA is necessary

“SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) -- A chicken that was strapped to 100 helium balloons and sent skyward last weekend in a stunt is resting these days at the city's animal shelter as people vie to adopt it.

The chicken, nicknamed Amelia, was rescued Saturday after getting tangled in power lines. A police marksman shot the balloons with a pellet gun to bring Amelia down to safety.

Authorities said they have yet to identify the prankster, who was apparently imitating an ad that recently aired on a local TV station. The ad has since been pulled.

"This is a great chicken, a friendly chicken, a chicken that is ready for a relationship," said Kat Brown, deputy director of the shelter.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/West/06/26/offbeat.ballooning.chicken.ap/index.html”

“Now THAT is outstanding...

"Amelia"? As in Amelia Earhart? LOLOL

And she's "a friendly chicken"? "ready for a relationship"?? LMAO!”

“The local news, out of SF, had footage of the chicken hanging up there. Too funny. Then an interview with a cop who told everyone to be on the look out for more floating chickens. He thinks 2 or 3 are still out there. How he knows this, I don't know.”

“Reminds me of the WKRP in Cincinnati episode where they dropped the turkeys from the helicopter as a stunt.”

“I wondered what happened to my chicken....”

“That chick wants a relationship?”

“I remember that episode Phil. That was a great show!”

“Did she really say the chicken was ready for a relationship???

"Ms. Chicken meet Mr. Frying Pan."”

“bacpac beat me to it. Coq au Vin, anyone???”

“There’s a beautiful, beautiful field
Far away in a land that is fair.
Happy landings to you, Amelia Earhart,
Farewell, first chicken of the air


©Red River Dave McEnery (sort of)”

“There's another story at cnn right now, in Offbeat I believe, about how chickens are now the cool suburban pets. Good timing.
THey are really good for the garden. Free high quality fertilizer.”

“"I wondered what happened to my chicken...."
wvabackpacker
01:25:31 AM
06/27/03

You know what happened to it - after you finished with it you tried to dispose of the evidence in a new way that would throw investigators off the trail of what really happened to it.”

“I for one would hate to see PETA go the wayside. They do more damage to the left than anything the right can come up with. They are a parody of themselves.”

“You can expect a story like this from Alaska! Kill it and grill it.”

“i once burned an ant with a magnifuing glass...”

“i once burned an ant with a magnifying glass...”

“relationship eh?..if an egg can come out....”

“kink = Feather
perversion = whole chicken”

“A bit of fowl play, eh? I almost resisted, but I just couldn't chicken out, so I winged it.”

“Oh, once when we were dining, I didn't want to eat;
There was this stuff upon my plate, that looked like chicken feet
But then my mom, she served dessert, it was all pink and red
I asked her what she'd put in it, and this is what she said:

Oh, chicken lips and lizard hips and alligator eyes;
Monkey legs and buzzard eggs and salamander thighs;
Rabbit ears and camel rears and tasty toenail pies;
You stir them all together, (and) it's called
"Dessert Surprise!"”

“"As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

The Big Guy (wkrp)

lofl”

“...of why a lot of folks don't take PETA seriously.

Cow Patty Bingo will go on

PETA's objection? "it's very demeaning to the animal"”

“I like a chicken with large breasts.”

“This is all Fox's fault:



Free to a good home: Amelia, the flying chicken


San Francisco -- Every day, life gets better and better for Amelia the chicken.

On Wednesday, the amazing bird was resting comfortably on the second floor of the San Francisco animal shelter on Folsom Street, pecking at chicken feed, gazing at the newspaper and waiting for prospective owners to submit their references.

"This is a great chicken, a friendly chicken, a chicken that is ready for a relationship," said Kat Brown, deputy director of the shelter, who has been looking after Amelia since her celebrated flight over the weekend.

Amelia is the bird who was harnessed to 100 helium balloons and sent aloft Saturday by an anonymous prankster apparently imitating a stunt aired on TV to promote a new show.

The chicken wafted into a tangle of power lines in the Western Addition and was rescued by a police marksman, who shot pellets at the balloons and brought down the bird.

Since word got out, Bay Area animal lovers have flooded the shelter with calls, seeking to adopt the chicken. Most people are well meaning, Brown said, but unaware of the nature of the human-chicken commitment.

"A chicken is not clean," Brown said, as Amelia, as if on cue, demonstrated.

"As a pet, (a) chicken is surprisingly high maintenance."

On Friday at high noon, anyone wishing to adopt Amelia is requested to appear in person at the shelter, where interviews will take place.

Only serious applicants with a box in hand, along with the $10 chicken adoption fee, will be considered. A backyard coop is preferred but not mandatory. Those seeking Amelia for her celebrity or nutritive qualities will be rejected.

"We're going to screen people carefully," Brown said. "Amelia has been through so much, that we want her to get the royal treatment from now on."

Since arriving at the shelter, the brown-and-white hen has occupied a prime cage beneath a skylight, just across from Amy the rabbit and a half-dozen guinea pigs.

Amelia spends the day making soft clucking noises, going through page after page of The Chronicle and calmly allowing shelter volunteers to pet her, a rare trait in a chicken.

Ellie Sadler, the animal-control officer who helped rescue the chicken, drops by the cage from time to time. The bird, she said, underwent a "horrible, traumatic experience."

Like any creature, she said, a chicken deserves respect. A human and a chicken can enjoy a relationship that extends beyond the dining table. In fact, the shelter has two other chickens -- Thelma and Louise -- available for adoption.

"They're friendly, they make a really nice noise and you don't have to walk them," Sadler said. "And you get to experience the joy of loving another creature."

Police say whoever sent Amelia aloft faces animal-cruelty charges. Meanwhile, chicken fans have been firing off protest letters and faxes to the Fox network, which depicted a balloon-harnessed chicken in a televised ad for what the network called a new show about "unpredictable stunts and hilarious gags."

"We are asking Fox to stop their cruelty or to confine it to those who can dish it back," said Karen Davis, president of the United Poultry Concerns animal-rights group. "Fox ought to be ashamed of themselves."

Kenny Wardell, a spokesman for KTVU, the Fox affiliate in Oakland, said the network has the utmost regard for chickens and has decided to withdraw the ad to avoid further ruffling of feathers.

”

“KFC dumped Jason Alexander for trying to push PETA (People For Eating Tasty Animals) propaganda on the company.”

“BTW - You can viw a video of the chicken getting shot out of the wires at
http://www.local6.com/news/2286898/detail.html”

“$10 for a chicken? I can go down to Kroger's and get one for about $5, and it's already been cleaned and gutted, for Pete's sake!

What are those people thinking?”

“Dang, bit. For the same 5 bucks, you can go to Sam's and get a yummylicious, 5lb. bird that's already been roasted for ya...and a good bottle of wine ta wash it down with (wine extra...).”

“Speaking of roasted birds, don't forget the Rooster Booster


”

“mmmmmm fried chicken”

“Pullet bullet...ROTFLMFAO!!!”

“it would be safe if it landed in a kentucky fried chicken farm. they only want the good genetically built chickens. Amelia seems to be natural....”

“Exerrpted from PETA targets ‘Nutcracker’ kids


Animal rights advocates will single out small children at performances of "The Nutcracker" in the next few weeks by handing out fliers saying "Your Mommy Kills Animals" to youngsters whose mothers are wearing fur.

The fliers include a color drawing of a woman plunging a large bloody knife into the belly of a terrified rabbit. The fliers urge kids to "ask your mommy how many dead animals she killed to make her fur clothes."

"And the sooner she stops wearing fur, the sooner the animals will be safe. Until then, keep your doggie or kitty friends away from mommy - she's an animal killer."

Lisa Franzetta, a national coordinator for PETA, said the group will launch its "fur-ocious" protest at `Nutcracker' performances in as many as 20 cities across the United States.”

“Get one of these freaks between MY wife and HER kids and some blood will flow. That is just sick. PETA is becoming more and more F*UCKED in the head. What a bunch of whacked out extremists.”

“Where does my down jacket fit in this?”

“Makes you a fowl plucker!”

“If we're not supposed to eat animals then why are they made out of meat?”

“Everyday I drive to work I see a bill board that says "Kentucky Fried Cruelty"

It's a FREAKIN chicken people. Save the whales, the yellow head upper river basin salamander or whatever else, but Chickens, C'mon”

“PETA is great with lettuce, gorgonzola, and basalmic vinegarette dressing, washed down with a nice red wine.”

“Q: What is the world's most abundant domesticated animal?


A: The chicken.

Have been for quite a spell now. Chicken is damn good eatin', if you ask me. I have two cousins that operate chicken houses (fat breasted, 7lb. broilers) for Cagle. The profit is low, but one of them uses the litter to fertilize his 700 acres or so of crops. That saves him a ton of money every year.”

“Cooked dead chickens smell better than live ones. I hear the same is true for PETA freaks.”

“I love fried chicken. Can you tell I'm from the South? lol...”

“O MY GOODYS!

What the erth is goin on aroun heer?

Why dose PETER (Peepel for Ever Thing Even RATS!) run aroun ever wher sayin "O pore leetel rats and ever thing els is pore pore leetel aminals that need pertectin and what never"???

For cryin lowd, peeps! Get reeeeel!
Rats (specially tree rats and ratcoons and rok rats and marmrats and fish rats (grabs) and regler rats and swimmy rats) need to be GOT DED when never posstabel!

Member thees werds:
The only good rat is Mr. Ratagast!”

“dammit, I knew cool breeze was a transvestite!”

“I'm sure Radagast appreciates that, sarabelle!

How do you feel about chihuahuas?”

“umm... c bat - sarabelle is a dog, not a some warped troll.”

“BWT -
Ower frend Vents and Miss Glory got some chikkens. So dose Chip.

Vents rootster sayed "if yall come aroun heer (he was talkin to me and Gissmaeiuox) I will PEK OFF YER EY BALLS!" He gots a VERRY GOOD pekker, bwt.

Any ways I sayed "ah ah! you are VERRY CRAZY if you theenk you will pek off my ey balls cuz I will BITE YER HED OFF!"
BOL!

Then my daddy sayed "Hay! Yall simmer dinner!"
Then he sayed "do not bite off no chikken heds Sarabelle and Gissmaeioux" and me and Gissmaeioux sayed "k".

But if that rootster never comes aroun sayin timidations I will prolly bite off his hed any ways and fase the conts and kwences like gettin beet with a rold up nuse payper or what never cuz I DO NOT like no chikkens specielly smarty rootsters.

Lemmen payper chikkens are perty good tho. Kno what? When I was a kid my daddy got a lemmen payper chikken at the stor and I sayed "o my goodys! We will eet Freddy the Falingo!" But it was not Freddy the Flingo cuz he was at Miss Mels hous at Callaforna. I thawt it was Freddy! BOL!

The nother time a looooong time ago I sayed "Look at them chikkens walkin aroun on the watter!" and my daddy sayed "them is duks" and I sayed "o". BOL!”

“Sarabelle, I'm disappointed by this statment:

"Rats (specially tree rats and ratcoons and rok rats and marmrats and fish rats (grabs) and regler rats and swimmy rats) need to be GOT DED when never posstabel"

Thanks for being a friend...NOT



LOL”