Beating the sausage

“You lost me at "brauts", yank.


lol!”

“At the advice of Counsel I will withhold all comment....”

“Sorry, I live in a town where a local store has over 100 varieties of sausages. (Not that I ever eat sausage, but if you need some Nigal, I can ship it to you!) No need for us to make sausage at home, LOL!”

“Some how I suspect the issue has nothing much to do with the "need" to make sausages at home”

“May have told this before, but my next door neighbors when I was growing up were a GERMAN GERMAN family.

Each year on the first cold day Gra'mutter (the Father Otto's mother) would come to visit and the entire family would make BLOOD sausage. It was a family affair, Mother would roll out the intestine, the daughter and son would stand on a stool and hold the sausage while Otto was filling the sausage wrapping. Gra'mutter would be responsible for cutting up the "bits" boiling the STUFF and making the mixture.

I was a young kid who knew no better. So one day I was looking for something to do and I smelled this GOD AWFUL smell coming from their house. I clambored over the 8' privacy fence and walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

Unbenownst to me a second or two before I got to the door the wrapping that the daughter was holding and Otto was filling had literally exploded (mama had been doing quality control and had missed a spot). This blew BLOOD and derbris all over Otto, mama, the daughter, the kitchen floor, the walls .....

So I heard SCREAMING in German/English etc I casually opened the door and walked to the edge of the hall where looking to my left I could look through the laundry room into the kitchen. I hear Gra'mutter screaming in German, I hear Otto and the others saying mixed words. Then I notice the POOL of blood on the floor. Coming out to the laundry room.
At this moment Gra'mutter comes around the corner holding a GIANT butcher knife. She is covered in blood and screaming in German (she was telling me to be careful there was blood everywhere and to get the mop from outside the door). I was in shock...then it happened. Otto (ever the comedian) staggers across the door (he had a bad leg from Polio as a kid) covered in blood looks at me with this look of terror and screams, "She hast gone krazie...run farh it boy!!!!!"

LOL I never was much of a jumper but I raced out the door at the fence, I jumped for the top of the fence and missed, but caught it on my way down. LOL...I got home and the phone was ringing. It was the neighbors and they were laughing....OH they had a good laugh over that for years.”

“ROFLMAO! Great Story.”

“WE HAFF WAYSS UFF MAKING YOU JUMP!”

“whats up with this thread? when i go to page 1 a clip keeps playing and for the life of me can't figure out why. does anyone else hear it?”

“some snot nosed punk leaving my cheese out in the wind.”

“yea where is that coming from?”

“for god sakes Birch put your cheese away!”

“Analysis of the page source reveals that the voice is a background .wav file that Buddha Bear embedded as part of his innocent-looking post.

www.idiotsavant.com/ftp/sounds/cheese.wav”

“well the little stinker!”

“easy... the principal in ferris bueller's day off”