Howard Dean To Join Next Mars Mission

“Howard Dean To Join Next Mars Mission
(2003-07-23) -- The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced today that Vermont Gov. Howard Dean would join the agency's next mission to Mars.

The trip to the Red Planet is part of Gov. Dean's presidential campaign strategy which aims to maximize the distance between the candidate and the average American voter.

Gov. Dean, already a vocal opponent of the liberation of Iraq and a proponent of homosexual unions, said he still feels too close to the American voter.

"The other Democrat candidates for president are mere clones of George Bush," said Gov. Dean. "When I'm standing on the surface of Mars, passionately denouncing things most Americans support and advocating things most Americans oppose, people will know I'm the real Democrat in this race."

Rep. Dennis Kucinich announced that he would bolster his own presidential campaign by returning to Roswell, New Mexico, "to receive further instructions from the mothership."

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