Quagmire Index Revised

“Quagmire Index Revised to Reflect Death of Saddam Sons
(2003-07-23) -- Now that Saddam Hussein's sons are dead, a panel of journalists has revised the official Iraq Quagmire Index. According to the new benchmark, all violence against Coalition troops should cease immediately, since Uday and Qusay Hussein are gone.

The Quagmire Index is a service journalists provide to establish hopeful expectations for the future. When those expectations are proved wrong by events, reporters and pundits may officially use the term "quagmire" to describe the situation.

Journalists last revised the index when President George Bush declared an end to major combat operations in Iraq. Reporters interpreted this to mean that if any American troops were killed or wounded after that date, then Mr. Bush had lied about the "war" being over, and Iraq was a Vietnam-like quagmire.

Studies of American news consumers show they appreciate the Quagmire Index because it eliminates the need to consider and remember numerous facts. For journalists it saves time, and bypasses the discomfort of careful news analysis.

ScrappleFace”

“Qusay and Uday are ed-day.”

“They were a couple of regular guys.”

“Yeah, what's wrong with a little genocide, torture and mayhem?”

“They really knew how to party.


Its too bad they didn't get a chance to do a few lines with our Fearless Leader.”

“Oudai-
-Head of paramilitary and helped eliminate opponents
-murdered and tortured with zeal
-routinely ordered guards to snatch young women off the streets so he could rape them
-ordered prisoners to be dropped in acid baths
-As head of iraqui Olympic Committee, ordered jailing of athletes who didn't perform well
-Ran Iraq's most popular newspaper and youth TV Channel. NO DOUBT!”

“I was thinking that it's too bad they didn't have 8,000 tons of nerve agent in each pocket when they were pulled from the blown-up house.”

“The rose bushes haven't yet been dug up.”

“I was wondering what Oudai's TV show was called; Who Wants to Marry a Martyr?
The Bachelor?
Trading cells?”

“More like, "Would you like to be raped and killed? Too bad!"”

“....."Shall I Kill You First, Then Rape You, or Shall I Rape You First And Then Kill You?"

contestants get to choose!!!!”

“Try spellcheck bj.

It's qWagmire.”

“My spell checker says...

vASSlin.”

“You're funnier before the second six-pack.”

“Perhaps you should stop at one.”

“LOL. That was worth waiting for.”

“That was pretty funny!”

“more people are murdered per day in the state of california than troops have been killed per day in a major combat zone......


where's grey davis anyways?”

“Non sequitur.”

“Non thinker

where is the outrage at the murder rate in california? it is truely a quagmire, is it not? more people dieing than in iraq? geesh, ya'll should be calling for his head, not bush's.....

see, the point is that liberals and their willing accomplises in the media are just raising all this stink to down bush's numbers....and it's working. but if they were really interested in amreicans dieing, why not do something(like admit it) about the murder rate in california? there's 49 other states where people are murdered too....the point, i'm sure, is wasted as usual on such critical thinkers as yourself...”

“Yes, strat, we should do something about the murder rate in California.

The Murder rate in Iraq, a country we now occupy, should also be an issue.

It's sort of like me causing, by some direct action of mine, the death of a person, and defending myself in court by arguing that "people die every day".

Can you see that?

Imagine me standing in court, saying, "your honor, Last week, 20 people died in the state of california because of slipping and falling on bars of soap. I only killed one. Why aren't we going after the real problem: the soap manufacturers?!"”

“Try spellcheck bj.

It's qWagmire."
vIoLiN
09:37:39 PM
07/23/03

Try Webster's fool.
It's qUagmire.”

“Bazooka, you're getting wagged.”

“No. I'm quite certain it's "qWagmire".”

“Violin, you should stop that. You're going to confuse him more.”

“(CBS/AP) Insurgents and rebellious Shiites mounted a string of deadly attacks on U.S.-led coalition forces in the south and in the Sunni Triangle. Twelve U.S. Marines were killed in Ramadi alone, U.S. officials said, and at least 66 Iraqis died from Fallujah to Nasiriyah.

Tuesday's clashes capped three days of violence — the worst fighting since Saddam Hussein was toppled last year. At least 136 Iraqis and 30 coalition troops have been killed since Sunday.

In Ramadi, dozens of Iraqis attacked U.S. Marines near the governor's palace late Tuesday, a senior U.S. defense official said in Washington. "A significant number" of U.S. Marines were killed, and initial reports indicate it may be up to a dozen, said the official, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Heavy casualties were inflicted on the insurgents as well, U.S. officials said. It was not immediately known who the attackers were.

In Fallujah, where Iraqis had braced for retaliation following last week's killing of four American civilians, U.S. Marines drove into the center of the Sunni city in heavy fighting Tuesday.

At least eight Iraqis were killed and 20 wounded in the fighting, hospital officials said.

The upswing in anti-U.S. violence is highlighting the understaffing of U.S. troops in Iraq, CBS military analyst retired Col. Mitch Mitchell told Dan Rather.

Iraq is worse off now, after the U.S.-led invasion, than it was under Saddam Hussein, Hans Blix told a Danish newspaper Tuesday. He cited "the many casualties during the war and the many people who still die" in terror attacks.


In a series of U.S. television interviews Tuesday, L. Paul Bremer, the top civilian administrator in Iraq, conceded not all was going smoothly as the coalition approached a June 30 handover of sovereignty to the Iraqis.”

“qWagmire: When you are in a bad situation you created yourself, and would quit in a minute if you could, but which if you did, it would make everything else worse. So you can't...and it gets worse anyway.

- Josh Marshall”

“Iraq is worse off now, after the U.S.-led invasion, than it was under Saddam Hussein, Hans Blix told a Danish newspaper Tuesday. He cited "the many casualties during the war and the many people who still die" in terror attacks.


George "qWagmire" Bush keeps telling us Iraq is better off after his adventure into Iraq.”