New American Image - LOL!

“VOLUME 31 ISSUE 16 — 29 APRIL 1997

Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts

WASHINGTON, DC—In a move designed to make the United States seem more "bad-assed and scary in a quasi-heavy-metal manner," Congress passed a bill Monday changing the nation's name to the Ünited Stätes of Ämerica. "Much like Mötley Crüe and Motörhead, the Ünited Stätes is not to be messed with," said Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK). An upcoming redesign of the Ämerican flag will feature the new name in burnished silver wrought in a jagged, gothic font and bolted to a black background. A new national anthem is also in the works, to be written by composer Glenn Danzig and tentatively titled "Howl Of The She-Demon."”

“well...i thought it was funny...”

“I love the Onion!”

“I think we should use the Judas Priest song, "Breakin the Law" though.”

“The Onion does have some good satirical pieces, but this is definitely not one of them.

Meh.”

“why is it if someone does not laugh or answers within mins of your post that you get pissie again and make a dumb comment?”

“lol
the Onion is great. Reminds me of the old national Lampoon news stories...”

“That's a very good question HYPOCRITE.”

“Isn't the whole paper supposed to be a joke? It is suppossed to be funny, Ha Ha! You know, don't cha?”

“Who piddled on your pork rinds this morning? Sheesh.

At least it gives you two trolls something to be mean about. :)”