Why BP'ers should not read Cosmo

“I don't know what possessed me to do it....don't know what I was thinking....but...I bought a Cosmo magazine this past Sunday.

I hate this magazine yet I still bought one! I felt like a whale helplessely following the rest of the group in the process of beaching my self-confidence!

Okay, at first i was more for mindless (and it is) reading on the subway. And maybe, just maybe, I got the wild idea that I need to "sexy" myself up. You know, spending to much time as a bp'ing "tomboy" and not enough as a "city sophisticate (sp?)".

It's silly. It's retraded. What can I say, working in the corporate world will do strange things to your brain....

Anyway, today I am wearing a cute new skirt, heels, painted my toenails this morning, looking and feeling pretty good.

Now enters the laugh...

So I'm walking down the hallway - on my way to get my morning coffee - and I decide to "work the walk". So I'm gliding along, letting the hips sway, feeling confident and "sexy" and wouldn't you know....I just about threw my left hip out of alignment with the combination of the stupid "working it" walk and heels!!

Once I got around the corner of the hallway, I basically had to hobble into the elevator and stretch out my hip!

So, I think I will stick to my non-sexy walk and (as long as I can get away with them) sneakers. Or at least I won't try to "work it" in heels anymore or else I'll end up like a german shepard with hip dysplacia.”

“Sadly, this is more common than you think. High heels already exaggerate the swagger, so there's no need to overdo it.”

“Post a picture!

These magazines are not worth the paper they are printed on. I have seen girls in tears because they try as hard as the can to look like some of the anorexic models, but never do it. I think a persons beauty lies inside, not outside.”

“a combination of both is nice though WK. ;o)”

“And if their man pleasing tips and secrets work, why do they have them in there every other month?”

“Belee Dat Y!

At a recent trip to my knee doc., I perused through a stack of magazines to see if there was anything worth reading. I notice the from cover of a Seventeen magazine. There were articles in this magazine about what to wear to get your man, a quiz to see if your best friend is playing with your man, and what to do if you have a crush on an older man. What kind of crap is this? Better yet, who would let their teenage daughter read this?”

“Once upon a time, the magazines weren't so bad. I'll admit to readind it in the mid 80s, because it was a gift subscription. It was mostly on looks with the occasional article on exercise or maybe even school. It did cover dating and crushes, but not "actual" sex.”

“It sure has changed. I do not think I would want my daughter to be reading something that gives her advice on what to wear to snag some guy. I remember being 17. I didn't care what she was wearing, I just hoped that soon, she wouldn't be wearing anything.”

“It's so true. Most women's magazines are pure garbage. They are all obsessed with weight, looks, men, and sex. And men wonder why women are crazy? LOL! I stopped buying into these magazines a few years ago. I got sick of reading them and feeling like I wasn't woman enough because I wasn't scratching my best girlfriend's eyes out over a man, going out on dates every night of the week, dressing like a supermodel, etc...

I wish that there was a magazine like Men's Health for women. Maybe there is and I just walk past it on my way to the science and outdoors magazines.

Also, anyone seen that show about "single women in the city"? Who are these women? I saw the show a few times (nothing better to watch and it was winter) and felt like the biggest freak! Actually, they were freaks. But I did end up feeling insecure with their images of dyed blond hair, perfect makeup, $1,000 dresses, BMW's, dates with stock brokers and lawyers (yelch!), weekends in the Hamptons, fancy apartments, etc....

Maybe I'm really a country girl trapped in the city? Hahahaha! Sheesh.”

“YOU Go girl...be who you are..don't let that city life get to you!!”

“YOU Go girl...be who you are..don't let that city life get to you!!”

“Yah! 2 snaps straight up for all you women that don't read smut like Cosmo!”

“Dang, she had to say it twice !

Yes, "Men's Health" magazine is one of my favorites. I agree, they need one similar for women. Anyone out there know of one that is similar ???”

“If they don't, a publishing company should get the brilliant idea and start one.

I'd call it Sane”

“Yah! 2 snaps straight up for all you women that don't read smut like Cosmo!"
Wounded Knee
11:10:34 AM
07/29/03


2 snaps?

oh man WK you are too fuuny. I have visions of you chewing bubble gum and snapping your fingers together while you said that.


~giggeling~”

“Yeah, I was wearing a new skirt and heels once, and just about fell flat on my face!




Crap! Did I say that out loud?”

“And if their man pleasing tips and secrets work, why do they have them in there every other month?"
Nigal
09:56:59 AM
07/29/03


I can't figure how why a woman or guy would want to read Cosmo anyway. If a person wants to improve his/her sex life with the person they are with all you have to do is ask. They know what feels good and what doesn't. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Communication is the key. Talk to your partner and both of you will be pleasantly suprised at the outcome.

My .02 worth for the day...lol
time for me to go back to work....grrrr”

“ok thats it. Im getting WAY WAY to many visuals of you freaks & geeks.”

“Country girl?

What country you from, Twinkle?


And, how's the knee?

Hip and knee.....yow!

You won't have to try to walk funny!”

“The knee feels better. It's a freaky injury. It switches knees, some hikes don't aggrivate it, sometimes it takes a few weeks to heal, other times a few days. Just need to get them both stronger so the kneecap isn't sliding around on me.

Oh yeah, I wasn't trying to walk funny...I was "working the walk"

LOL!!”

“You were deliberately puttin' a hitch in yer git along?”

“I should have said 2 scoops up and down.”

“It was worth saying twice!

OMG..WK..I got the same pic that Maple got.”

“You were deliberately puttin' a hitch in yer git along?"
Tom Terrific
11:39:29 AM
07/29/0


WTF does that mean?

LOL”

“I am eating a granola bar, how about that? I think I actually smapped when I typed it.”

“Women are not the only ones who have a hard time with heels. Back in the 70's, I had many friends twist an ankle or down right fall off their platform shoes. Unfortunately, they seem to be making a comeback. A lot of the female students here wear those huge platform sandals that look ridiculous. I'm sorry, but I will take a nice pair of pumps over monster shoes any day.”

“Me too! Wait a minute...”

“Did you know that when high heels first came to be they were wore by men in the royal courts?”

“Cosmo is almost cutting edge for fashion. Of course the internet knows fashion ”

“mapleleaf-
"A hitch in her git along"....is from Jed Clampett, I do beleive.

He said that to describe a woman as she was walkin' away.

(ppsssttt!!!.....she was swingin' her ass!)

"...men in royal courts..."
Oh, those guys in the powdered wigs musta been so manly!
NOT!”

“For a visual of "hitch in yer git" just picture Marilyn Monroe in "Some Like it Hot", or Jack Lemmon if you swing that way.”

“MadRiver thats a great movie.”

“I really enjoy when my wife takes a "Is your man a Pig?" quiz, commonly found in many chic magazines. She is able to confirm that fact that I am a pig, and since I am in the woods most weekends, I am abandoning her and her feelings and needs.
She laughs about the outcomes of her honest answers, and then shares the results with me.”

“I'm curious, what actually constitutes "Pigdom?" Toe sucking, water sports, parochial school girl uniforms? Please explain! Ladies??”

“My youngest daughter was telling her older sister about an article in Cosmo advising women to hold in their pee to desensitize their bladders. Of course, my other daughter is holding it in while waiting for us to take the next exit off of the highway where there is a gas station. The baby of the family is getting no points from the Cosmo advice she is trying to disseminate on this car trip, and the dad, (that would be me), tells little miss Cosmo reader that he hopes she doesn't put too much import on this kind of advice. Sheesh. Stick to makeup, ya rag of a mag!”

“Twinkle, you should be ashamed. LOL!! ;-)

and Dunadan, that is SO not good for your bladder. the longer water is stagnant, the easier it is for unhealthy bacteria to grow in there. yes, i am a pee expert.”

“hehe - at least she didn't say she was practicing her "kiegles" (sp?)

hahahahaha - you would have fallen right out of the car!”

“First they came for the guns now there’re after my Cosmo. What’s next?”

“How come everything turns to pee talk here?”

“Never buy that trash Twinkle. It's a trash. They put a piece of trash on the stand and you paid good American dollars for it. Boycott them. Seriously. Spend your money on National Geograhic instead.”

“I know! As I said, I never buy that garbage. I must have let the heat and wait for the train addle my brain.”

“tell it like it is, newgirl! i read Shape a couple times, thinking it might be a little more like Men's Health. but it's also a piece of trash...and i should have realized that something called SHAPE wouldn't necessarily be about HEALTH.”

“And maybe you were holding your pee to long, as they so wisely adviced, and it got stagnant like Lyra said, and the bacteria impaired your brain?! I'm just throwin' stuff out there.

Anyway, what makes me mad about those mags is the amount of greed they support. "You can get this run way look for only $400." What the f@#k is that supposed to mean? Sinful, man, sinful. I could have that crappy look that will be out tommorrow or I could throw the $400 and the bucks that piece of junk mag cost at some real issues . . . like the malnourished kids down the block.”

“It really ticks me off Lyra!”

“Geez, thanks Twinkle, now I'm annoyed way bad.

LOL! Just kidding.”

“I think men are really in control of those mags so they (we) can suggest all kinds of naughty things you girls really should try out on us (if you REALLY love us.) (And if you don't, the little tart down the street, just might!)”

“Interesting title, I had to read it,but just for the record, I think girls that backpack, kayak or climb, are much sexier than those model types, but hey, I am a country boy. Its just a hunch but I think most of the guys on this site would agree.”

“Holding your pee to desensitize your bladder????! What kind of crap is that??? Any doctor will tell you to go when you have to go. Otherwise you start running the risk of urinary tract infections. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!”

“yeah, i sense your frustration was MOUNTING there, Newgirl! ha!”

“Is this a feminine version of a pissin' contest?”