Funny

“You do know that you'll pay for that don't you?”

“NO Tee hee hee”

“Not funny, just dumb.”

“That is kinda funny, he he he he he!

Put a cell phone in the women's hand though.”

“I should have known the WK would find this funny.

your such a dork.

but a lovably dork!!”

“Thank you! Many people consider me to be a dork. I take it as a compliment.”

“your funny!”

“oh wait Ice tea may think im getting weeping.

ok you dork, knock off the funny stuff damnit!!”

“OK, I will just be rude from now on.

Dammit!”

“At a hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

Surveying the worried faces, the doctor said: "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news. The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, a you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. One man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more expensive?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and said to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used."”

“Blondes at work

”

“can't see the image. A blonde probably tried to insert the pic...hmmm...”

“One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn’t find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were earlier. Adam said, “This morning Eve and I made love for the first time.”

God said, “Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve now?”

Adam replied, “She’s down at the river, washing herself out.”

“Shoot,” says God, “now all the fish will smell funny.””

“Yikes! That may have been beyond the limits of good taste.”

“I define the edge.”

“You are a rebel! I wish I had jokes like that.”

“QUIZ: ARE YOU A REAL MAN?

1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:

a) Lovemaking
b) Screwing
c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) Your blood-test results
c) Five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:

a) Your partner climaxes first
b) You both climax simultaneously
c) You don't miss SportsCenter

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

a) Healthy, creative love-play
b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

a) The best part of the experience
b) The second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:

a) No concern of yours
b) Not a problem - she can join your gym
c) A conservative estimate

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) A myth
b) An oxymoron
c) A moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

a) Appetiser is to entree
b) Priming is to painting
c) A queue is to an amusement park ride

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) Is uptight and a waste of time
c) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place


If you answered 'A' more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

If you answered 'B' more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused.

If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, call me up. Let's go drinking.”