Spankings

“Do I know my ladies or what :}”

“DOM! GO OUT BACK AND CUT ME A SWITCH! AND IT BEEEEEETER BE A GOOD ONE TOO!”

“The civilized way to beat your children?

August 24, 2003

BY ZAY N. SMITH Sun-Times

There is no easy way of putting it, so let's just say it:

Steven Robyor has invented a new device.

I really think it will help," he said.

It is called the B-Stik.

"A lot of people seem to misunderstand it, though," he said.

It costs $29.95.

It is designed for . . . it is designed for. . . .

"It's designed for parents to hit their children with."

Right.

And it is just hitting the market about now.

***

"It is recommended that one to five moderate impacts should produce a safe and adequately effective stinging sensation. DO NOT exceed the recommended amount until you are sure of individual results. Depending on the individual, more or less may be required."

***

Robyor, 44, of Boca Raton, Fla., is proud of the B-Stik.

He just asks everyone to hear him out.

"It's a safer alternative for people who physically discipline their children," he said. "And if we can save just one child. . . . "

This, for starters, is what the device looks like:

It is shaped like a billy club, about a foot long, covered in high-density fabric with a nonallergenic soft filling, to give it about the consistency of a pin cushion.

It is a very soft thing that still manages to sting when you are hit with it.

"I worked as a massage therapist for 10 years and was trying to come up with a device to help with that," he said. "Then I read a story one day about a 2-year-old in Miami who was punched in the stomach because he had soiled his pants. He died from that punch. And then I started thinking of all the other children who are being injured and killed out there. I looked at my massage device.

"I thought this was a way to fill a technological gap in disciplining children--a device that would sting but not injure."

***

"When using as an alternative discipline device for children, do not use a clubbing motion. Skim the skin with an adequate inward force with just the surface of the tip. For optimum effect, just 3 to 4 inches of the tip should be used, as in Fig. 1."

***

Well. All right. But a few questions, Mr. Robyor. First, did your parents use corporal punishment on you?

"My father spanked me on occasion. I was physically disciplined as a child, and it didn't have any effect on me but to make me a better person."

Do you have children?

"I have a son. He's 22."

Did you physically discipline him?

"I wish I had."

***

"Physical discipline of a child under 2 years of age is not recommended. . . . B-Stik may be dry cleaned. . . ."

***

You wish you had physically disciplined your child?

"He's in prison."

What is he in prison for?

"He's facing federal charges. It had something to do with the drug Ecstasy and him doing a favor for a friend. No, what I did with my son was read Dr. Spock and figure that I should try reasoning and time-outs and all that. But I wish now I had physically disciplined him. I wish I had taught him better that actions have consequences."

And you think he would have turned out differently?

"That is my opinion."

****

"Testing within the recommended amount of contact with this product did not produce any welts, bruising, chafing or any sign of trauma visible to the skin other than redness. The amount of contact was moderate in nature, as well as the stinging effect. Testing of between 10 and 30 contacts produced very severe stinging and temporary red marks.

This contact was also moderate in nature. Testing of between 30 and 50 contacts produced. . . ."

***

"I tested this on myself and on friends," Robyor said. "We didn't do any testing on children."

Did you consult with any experts in developing this device?

"No. I developed it myself. I did my own research. This product is based on common sense."

Has there ever been a product marketed, to your knowledge, that was designed for the express purpose of hitting children?

"Even if you don't approve of physical discipline, you have to accept that there are parents who believe in it and will physically discipline their children. This is just a way of making it safer."

Are they selling well?

"So far, so good. We've manufactured several thousand of them so far, and they're being shipped out every day."

***

"When we are in a safe place, we can practice the TAKE TEN method of non-violence. We can TAKE TEN deep breaths before calling someone names. We can TAKE TEN steps back before getting into a fight. We can TAKE TEN minutes to cool off. . . ."

***

Anne Parry is the violence prevention director for Chicago's Department of Public Health.

She is as familiar as anyone in the nation with the idea of parents hitting children--and all the different things parents hit children with.

"There are cases of a parent hitting a child with a baby," she said.

When told of the new product, her first response was a sigh.

"A kiddie stun gun," she said. "One step forward and 80 steps back. It reminds me of the nerf bats that came out a few years ago, the idea being that children could get their aggressions out in a non-injurious manner.

"But all these things do is teach children the lesson that if something is wrong, you hit it. If you are angry, you lash out. And then comes the moment when you're frustrated and you grab for something, and there's no nerf bat or B-Stik. There is only your fist and someone's face. Or worse."

That's why Parry hopes parents shopping for disciplining philosophies, if they are tempted to visit www.b-stik.com, will also take the time to visit www.ci.chi.il.us/Health/Publica tions/ViolencePrevention/index .html.

It has to do with a society that increasingly is taught that when something is wrong, you hit it.

It has to do with getting a society's attention.

"We're always trying to come up with something to capture the public's imagination,'' Parry said. "'Designated Driver' managed just that for drunken driving. Nancy Reagan's 'Just Say No,' on the other hand, didn't work. We have hopes for 'Take Ten.' Time will tell."

Time is a factor.

Nearly 200,000 children a year in this nation, according to federal government figures, are found to be victims of serious physical abuse.

In other words, beating victims.

Those are just the ones we know about.

***

"Buyer assumes all liabilities and risks from the use of this product. . . ."

***

Steven Robyor is not about to apologize. He believes what he believes. He thinks there are many who will agree with him. And he is in business to prove it.

"It's very frustrating to raise a child," he said. "I just want to provide an alternative to a piece of leather, a strap, things that can actually injure a child."

And he is a good businessman.

"The B-Stik can be used for other purposes. I was developing it for massage therapy, remember. There are instructions for that, too. You use a club-like motion instead of a skimming motion if you want to enhance a massage. . . ."

But there is still the first purpose.

"It's really just a harmless way of getting a small child's attention," he said.

Wait. One other thing, Robyor said, still a good businessman.

"It can work for pets, too," he said. "But you have to use it properly."”

“I like to travel light.....but a B-Stick will have to become part of my essential equipment....

I wanna paddle the Prosecutor!”

“Truth or Sensationalism

Response to article by Sun-Times Columnist

I received a call one day by an urgent voice wanting to do a story about my product. Introduced as a columnist with the Sun-Times, he asked if he could get one of my products for free, “It’s the norm,” he said.

I was a little taken back by that, because I have done numerous interviews with reporters and I was never asked that question directly. I usually offered.

This columnist appeared very sincere, but when I told him he could be anyone asking for a free product saying they were a writer, he replied, “Do you want your product written about or not?”

Then began our short, but deceitful relationship, as we talked, I assured him that I didn’t want to do an article that would be misquoted and geared toward sensationalism. I asked him his view on physical discipline, he stated, “Well, I don’t spank my kids, but I have an open mind!” That answer drew a red flag immediately.

A B-Stik™ was eventually sent reluctantly, after receiving it, two messages were left on my answering service stating: I have received the product, I’m pretty impressed!” “Now that I’ve seen it, it’s nothing like I’d imagined!” “I can see where it would make a real difference!” “Please call me so we can do the interview as soon as possible.”

I proceeded to tell him about all the other reporters that have misquoted me and said they would report fairly and not interview any person that wouldn’t be able to give an unbiased opinion on the subject. I asked him to get professional opinions and not someone in the position to say only what they are bound by, i.e. related to job, position in a Government agency, support group…etc. He assured me he would not do that and would consult a professional (Pediatrician, Psychiatrist, Psychologist or Child Psychologist).

Who did he interview? “Anne Parry is the violence prevention director for Chicago's Department of Public Health.” Now, let’s see…what can this woman say that’s not bias…hmmmm…NOTHING! Was she a good candidate for an interview? NO!

Let us move on to the quotes. I will do them in order of appearance in the article.

Quote: “I really think it will help," he said.

What I really said: “I think it will help deter the possibility of potential abuse!”

Quote: "A lot of people seem to misunderstand it, though," he said.

What I really said: “A lot of people are being misled by the media from sensationalism reporting that they are misunderstanding the true concept of the product!”

Quote: "It's designed for parents to hit their children with."

I never said that, must be his words. You can search my web site with a fine tooth comb; you will never see the word “hit” anywhere, so why would I say it? I told him I have a problem with negative words like that; look at the title of the article! Do you think his comprehension of my expressed concern meant anything?

Quote: "It's a safer alternative for people who physically discipline their children," he said. "And if we can save just one child. . . . "

What I really said: “It’s a safer way for parents who physically discipline their children,” “and if it saves one child from being harmed or injured from conventional methods, then it will have been worth all the hard work and research for the past two years.”

Quote: “I worked as a massage therapist for 10 years and was trying to come up with a device to help with that," he said. "Then I read a story one day about a 2-year-old in Miami who was punched in the stomach because he had soiled his pants. He died from that punch. And then I started thinking of all the other children who are being injured and killed out there. I looked at my massage device.”

In response to his question: “How did you come up with this idea?”

What I really said: “I worked in massage for over 10 years, and while performing tapotement during massage a licensed massage therapist is not allowed to make contact over bones due to the possibility of injury to the patient!” “I came up with the idea to alleviate the pain in my hands associated with giving a massage on 8-10 people a day while also eliminating the risk of injury to the patient.” “This product can be used over any part of the body without risk to the individual.” “During testing of this product, I read a story one day about a 2 year old Miami boy who died as a result of a blow to his abdomen just from soiling his pants.” “I then started research on other incidents across the country and found terrible results and thought my product would be a viable tool to replace alternative methods of discipline that is available to parents today.”

Quote: "I thought this was a way to fill a technological gap in disciplining children--a device that would sting but not injure."

I never said that, although there is a quote however that was written into the original press release that was written by someone else.

Quote: "My father spanked me on occasion. I was physically disciplined as a child, and it didn't have any effect on me but to make me a better person."

Not exactly what I said, but close enough, conveys well!

Quote: Do you have children?
"I have a son. He's 22."
Did you physically discipline him?
"I wish I had."
***
"Physical discipline of a child under 2 years of age is not recommended. . . . B-Stik may be dry cleaned. . . ."
***
You wish you had physically disciplined your child?
"He's in prison."
What is he in prison for?
"He's facing federal charges. It had something to do with the drug Ecstasy and him doing a favor for a friend. No, what I did with my son was read Dr. Spock and figure that I should try reasoning and time-outs and all that. But I wish now I had physically disciplined him. I wish I had taught him better that actions have consequences."
And you think he would have turned out differently?
"That is my opinion."
OK, let me start with the first part.

The question was “Do you have children?”

My answer was “Yes!” “I have a son, he’s 22.”

Second question: “Did you physically discipline him?”

My answer was: “No!” “I wish I had though!”

Then he adds: "Physical discipline of a child under 2 years of age is not recommended. . . . B-Stik may be dry cleaned. . . ."

What does this have to do with the question?

Anyway, I went on to say, which I thought was “Off the record!” “My son lacks the ability to see the ramifications of his actions.” “As a child he was raised on the Spock theory of reasoning and time-outs.” “I did grounding and none of it worked.” “He was in trouble at school most of the time and grew to disrespect authority.” “He is facing Federal charges and is sitting in jail because a friend asked him if he knew where to get the drug ecstasy.”

Then he asked: “Do you think if you had physically disciplined him that he would have turned out different?”

My answer was: “Yes!” “He would have thought before doing something as stupid as he did if he realized the ramifications of his actions,” “he just learned the hard way that civil authority doesn’t reason!” They just give long “time-outs!”

His response: “So, you mean consequences?”

I replied, “Yes!”

Let’s move on…

Quote: "I tested this on myself and on friends," Robyor said. "We didn't do any testing on children."

What I really said: “This product was thoroughly tested.” “No children participated in testing of this product for obvious reasons.”

Question: Did you consult with any experts in developing this device?

That question was never asked, at least not in this context!

Quote: "No. I developed it myself. I did my own research. This product is based on common sense."

I never said that!

Question: Has there ever been a product marketed, to your knowledge, that was designed for the express purpose of hitting children?

If this question had been asked to me I would have said “yes!” There is a product named “Love Joey” that is being given away on the internet! Go to: http://www.spare-rods.com/Index.html, so, as you can see, he never asked that question. Plus, I told him I didn’t like negative words like hitting, beating…etc. I would have said something to him!

Quote: "Even if you don't approve of physical discipline, you have to accept that there are parents who believe in it and will physically discipline their children. This is just a way of making it safer."

What I really said: “This is an alternative to what is available to parents that do believe in physical discipline.” “If they are going to do it, they may as well have something to do it safer with.” “That is based on common sense!”

Next day phone call:

Question: “How old are you?”

Answer: “42!”

Question: “How many of these products do you have?”

Answer: “We have several thousand.”

Response: “You mean, like in a warehouse or something?”

Answer: “Yes!”

Question: “How are they selling?”

Article Quote: "So far, so good. We've manufactured several thousand of them so far, and they're being shipped out every day."

What I really said: “I don’t know I don’t have the exact figures in front of me.”

Response: “OK, well, the article will be in the paper on Sunday, I hope you find it fair!”

My response: Well, if you wrote about the product and its benefits, and didn’t interview a biased person, then it should be fair.

His response: Silence…

Quote: "Buyer assumes all liabilities and risks from the use of this product. . . ."
Logical thinking…”We can’t be everywhere this product is being used to assure it is being used according to recommendations, now can we?”

Steven Robyor is not about to apologize. He believes what he believes. He thinks there are many who will agree with him. And he is in business to prove it.

What could I possibly apologize for? Could it be for parents that do not properly discipline their children? Well, I am sorry for that, not for the parents, but for the children. What could this possibly mean? Could it be for inventing a product that may prevent the possibility of harm or injury to children? Maybe he just feels guilty for writing such a negative article and subconsciously realizing that if parents don’t use my product as a safer means that the status quo will remain and children will continue to be harmed or injured, or heaven forbid worse!

Quote: "It's very frustrating to raise a child," he said. "I just want to provide an alternative to a piece of leather, a strap, things that can actually injure a child."

What I really said: “It can be very frustrating for a parent to raise a child today, I want to provide a safer method to the belt, strap, hand or anything that may harm or injure a child.”

Quote: "It's really just a harmless way of getting a small child's attention,"

His words, not mine, I just agreed because he put it so eloquently.

Wait. One other thing, Robyor said, still a good businessman.
"It can work for pets, too," he said. "But you have to use it properly."
This was a question that was asked on the second day call!

Question: “On your web site, it states that it can be used for pet training too, right?”

What I really said: “Yes, but it’s not recommended to apply contact to an animal, they have no idea what they’re being punished for, so it’s not recommended to physically use it on them.”

This columnist is also a very good businessman; his “sensationalism” sold a ton of newspapers for his employer I’m sure, and maybe a pat on his back…or a bonus, who knows?

To all parents, this message should have been conveyed in this article, but seeing that it wasn’t, I will convey it now…Please use care when disciplining your child, nothing they do deserves a life sentence of pain, disfigurement, paralysis or a death sentence. Think and discipline responsibly whether discipline requires physical intervention or not.

Steven Robyor
1024, INC
www.b-stik.com”

“boy i hope youre never required to state anything in 10 words or less......”

“Just for you, Lizs... Place hand on butt and paddle softly, please.”

“Didn't spot this till now....

woooo hooooooo! LOL”

“Hey, it was just my b-day and I got NO - ZERO - NADA spankings! Wanna trade? lol”

“Liz I never new that would be into spanks. You naughty girl you. Do you still have that French maid outfit?”

“lol... oooooooooh la la.

Say, you're in ND, now? I thought you were in Kuwait? Or were you just listing where you're from on that other thread, not where you're currently located?”

“Lizs, dont feel ashamed. There are plenty out there who enjoy spankings. You are not alone. I'm betting Alaska likes spankings.”

“hahah... now wait. Who said *I* like spankings?? The Z. person is the spanker liker.

LOL "spanker liker"”

“Is this a new TT romance? Z. is the spanker liker, and is Lizs the spanker (Z. is the spankee?)”

“sheeesh, good lord, I can't keep up with ALL MY ROMANCES!!! eeeeeek!”

“Liz i was sent to Kuwait for four months. I going to be leaving here soon then spending 20 days in Europe for vacation. I read that you are in MN now. You lucky dog. So when are you going to meet so that we can go hike in Jay cooke(sp?)”

“Jay Cooke State Park!!!!!

I can't believe that anybody else even knows of that park.

We used to ride our bikes from Cloquet to JCSP in the summers. Then we would cross the swinging bridge and hike around the park on the rocks, next to the fast moving St. Louis River.

Now that brings back some memories. Thanks!!”

“Lizsard,

you made half of the move to Minnie-soda, make the rest of your move to the Northeast, where spankings are not just for birthdays... they are a way of life!!!”

“you guys are WEIRD O MANIA!! lol”

“i knew there was a reason i would like the east...”

“Someone to spank Ms. CMB, huh?”

“Chief. I lived in Carlton so it was in my back yard. Did you ever go cliffing at the rocks on the now bike trail? Them old railroads tracks are now a bike trail all the way to the west end of Duluth. My parents still live in Carlton and I go there a few times a year. I have been kayaking on the St Louis a lot. My friend owns a white water kayak shop in Thompson.”

“We used to go climbing on those cliffs all the time. Back then though the bike trail was still railroad tracks. We used to ride our bikes through Carlton to get to Jay Cooke, too. Of course you knew that though.

One time, a friend and I rode to Jay Cooke, then to Duluth, then UP the hill to the Miller Hill Mall, then back to Cloquet.

I was so tired...I went out partying all night!!!!

Oh to be in that shape again.”

“Lizs and Zwabaire?! Sheesh! Another TT Hottie scooped up before my eyes. *sigh* Is there no one left?? Oh, wait... There was Artex who came to defend my honor in Fantasy Hockey only to turn around and pillage my team. Hmmmm.... I wonder if he has any lotion for my sunburn.”

“spankings? where??


"Richard? Who's your favorite rascal? Is it Alfalfa? Or is it SPANKY???"”

“Oh Gee... spanking, Sunshine, Lizs... all on one thread?

Reminds me of the good ole days on TT.”

“Classic thread.”

“Spending growth has zeroed, whose spanking the economy?”

“Spankings?

Right on brotha'!

”

“If you can't do the time,
don't do the crime.”