Misery Ridge - A Fabricated Trip Report

“This past weekend, I met up with Violin, Gear Slut, Tilt, Stratdewd, Mutt and Phaedrus at Misery Ridge. The drive was nice, but then all hell broke loose when the trip began.

Friday - Arrived to see Violin and Mutt in the parking lot, waiting for the rest of us. Mutt had a little stuffed monkey that he called "Evil George", and he kept whacking it about the head. Stratdewd arrived and took offense to the lil monkey, and verbal shouts ensued. The rest arrived, tempers calmed, and we headed out on the trail.

Prior to the hike, I studied the history of the area, and was able to point out where french troops were dealt major defaets during the french-indian war. Unfortunately for Tilt, and the french, this was about every 100 yards on the trail, and tilt got pi$$ed! He started calling me a racist bigot, and I retorted with pencil-neck astrology geek. we made sure to stay away from each other the rest of the day. At lunch, Stratdewd called out Pheadrus, Mutt and Violin, telling them all the he was going to personally call George and get thier refund checks revoked. Gear Slut and I broke up the fight, with me doing most of the work due to GS's lack of manliness. He accidently slapped me, and then we got into a fight, which was broken up by tilt and violin.

After lunch, we hiked 5 more miles to camp. It was a great hike, except for violin constantly hiking ahead and rearranging trail signs and blazes to try to get us lost.

After we reached camp, we all did a shot and talked about hot chicks and new gear.

Saturday - The next morning, I awoke to see Gear Slut digging a cathole in front of my tent. AFter feeling the blunt end of my hiking pole, he retreated to the woods. Tilt and Mutt were throwing rocks at each other (some sort of dispute about Nader or Gore).

We broke camp at around 9:00. The hike until lunch was uneventful until we passed this dude who had nothing but ALPS gear on. He stopped, set up a booth on the trail, and treid selling us gear right there! Violin got his email address (hehehehe) and then we left, vowing to never buy ALPS gear (we were finally united).

We got to camp at about 6:00 where we met Mapleleaf. She needed to ask Tilt if she should buy charmin with ridges or regular charmin, and could only use his advice. Tilt consulted the stars and helped her out. Thank Gawd camp was only .5 miles from the road. We knew she made it back ok. Strat stared playing guitar to ease the tensions. When he played "God Bless the USA" bt Lee Greenwood, Mutt got pissed and tried throwing a burning log at him. All hell broke loose, and we all beat the crap out of each other.

Sunday - We hiked out, finding all our tires slashed. I enlisted some of my international union brothers to help us out, while stratdewd waited for a tow company "to help jumpstart the economy". We all had breakfast at IHOP and Gear Slut skipped on his bill.

Overall, it was a great trip.*













*This story is false. The names of the people aren't their real names, so we kept em'. If a trip with these folks really happened, I'm sure it would have been much worse.”

“ROFLMFAO, that was hilarious! Oh my aching sides!”

“What Geobeet said! Too funny!!!”

“But I have to say it sounds very similar to the Allegheny Front Trail trip report ...”

“Nice trip report!”

“Great trip report! Sounds like y'all had a lot of fun! Are y'all planning on another trip soon, cuz I wanna go too!”

“Ooooo, that Lee Greenback song is real stinko!”

“LMAO, I had to unignore Buddha for this one!”

“HA!! :-)

but Maple should've asked me about the Charmin. no one should ever buy that at all, it's just basically a bunch of lint barely held together.”

“i'm just sittn' here laughing”

“Good one Buddha !”

“We now call ourselves "The League of Unextrodinary Gentleman".”

“LOL! Good one BB.

Pretty believable except for violin hiking in the front of the group. ;)”

“but for real, it's nice to see something poking-fun but not in a mean way. too many people be hatin' around here lately!”

“lyra - Yea! I hated that lycra person! Gave me the creeps! ;)”

“We all hate each other in some way, but if Gear Slut can unignore me for one post, and I can unignore him, it shows that Rodney King's wish IS possible, even if only for a moment.

BTW - If you are reading this Gear Slut - DORK!”

“lmao.....”

“The pics came out great!”

“Note Phaeddy's hockey skills on the left.”

“I know Violin hasn't been on a real TT trip yet. Has Gear Slut?”

“LMAO to funny.


so i got to meet Gear Slut after all?


(still unsure of it's sex. thats the scary part)”

“nobodies ever really seen tilt either....i think he and violin must be the same person.....”

“I tried so hard to suppress the laughter that I pissed my pants. I wonder how long I’ll have to wait until I dry out enough to leave my desk.

Good link to the phake fotos there aero, but of course the real ones are posted here.”

“Great pics, V!”

“sorry but it looked more like this

”

“you'd think one day i'd learn...”

“I invited tilt to go on a N. Georgia hike a few weeks back.
He laughed at me. ;)”

“glad you enjoyed my alter-ego, SS! i thought Tilt had been on a TT trip, though...”

“Hehe that was hilarious.”

“I'd like to bid for the movie rights.”

“ynami, they already made this one...Here's a link...”

“You outdid yourself on this one BB. LMAO!!

However, it's the same damn trip report as the WTF on the AFT. You just changed the names! Btw - who played me and whizzed in the spring?”

“Best Trip Report of the Year!!!”

“Pretty damn amusing, buddha bear. When you're not bashing the French, you're pretty creative.”

“I know, that's what I like about bashing the french, I don't need to be creative because all of thier "frenchness" is amusing in it's own right.”

“Sorry I missed the trip.”

“bacpac, you were there, but nobody saw you.”

“bacpac, you're the local "woodsman" stalking the group - you've seen the film, right. ;o)”

“I will be stalking tc3.”

“Me likey, Buddha.”

“mapleleaf, those are definintely NOT Hungarian Squirrels!

And I doubt ANY of the boys who "went" on this trip were that kinda skinny!”

“I posted that pic because they were ball less.”

“peerless?”

“I'm amazed that none of you jokers has posted pictures from a Mullet Go-rilla Love-In as being from this marvelous expedition.”

“ROFFLMDAO!”

“More Buddha, give us more ...”

“I left a little something in your pack, buddha.”

“strange, I thought it was left in violins pack”

“aahhh, chili!! that thread was a blast from the past...too freakin' funny.”