Constipation

“we're all family, right?

anybody got any suggestions to relieve painful constipation? ive been taking laxatives since last nite, but theyre just not working fast enough. and should constipation be painful?”

“Constipation can be painful, but you really need an enema now, especially if the laxes aren't working yet. Go pick up a couple of the fleet mineral oil enemas.”

“.........”

“I'm serious, 2scoops. Retention can cause major damage that often doesn't heal correctly.”

“ok next question. ive got 20 bucks. who wants to help?”

“Your'e on your own, bub!”

“i know you are. thats why im not pleased”

“before i go the enema route, whats the best laxative?”

“Phenolpthaleine. They don't sell it anymore. Now all you've got are senna-based and the like. You may want to ask the pharmacist.”

“to consult a Dr. Your problem might be more extensive and proper medical attention might be in your best interest.”

“I have to give fleets at work. $20 would be a raise for me! [putting on my rubber gloves]

For some reason my system shuts down out in the woods. I went a week once in the BWCA. I did not feel very good. Make a quick run to Taco Bell tonight and then make a big steaming pot of coffee with esspresso beans in the morning. AHHHHHH!!!!”

“OMG...LOL.....how about suppositories??...quick acting...”

“Sounds like you need to call a doctor?


8)”

“2scoops is full of crap.”

“LMFAO!!!!!!!!!


2poops!!!!!


Sorry dude!!!!!


8)”

“okay, you could've let me swallow my coffee first. :(

eat lots and lots of fiber! try to eat every morning some fiber one cereal(not very good)”

“Didn't Carly Simon sing that song??

I'm surprised you haven't tried the garden hose. That should get your hamster out of there.”

“Drink ALPS Mountaineering brand Ass Tonic! Guaranteed "Great Value!" Personally I dirnk the two liter bottle, and I feel just the opposite of "snug as a bug in a rug!" If you know what I mean! Ha Ha! I love to laugh. I love to smile! I like ALPS Mountaineering brand Guaran-dad-gum-teed Ass Tonic!

Just pour ALPS Mountaineering brand Guaranteed Ass Tonic onto your ass and watch your troubles melt away. It's like having two stake-out vestibules and a polyester rainfly and a generous helping of Hollofil II (works for me!) inside your own body! New, from ALPS Mountaineering.”

“hahaha!!!

oh, bought some epson salt the other day, and read the box. looks like you can drink this stuff too if you have problems going to the potty. Sounds nasty though.”

“castor oil - nothing else worked with my son... he would avoid going #2 and get constipated... he wasn't being very cooperative in potty training”

“well i followed treebaits advice and got some mineral oil last nite. im not completely flushed out but i can tell its working because the abdominal pains arent nearly as bad.”

“yikes!!!”

“I second that gforce!”

“how long after taking a dose do i have to wait before i can drink any other liquids? an hour? 2 hours? 10 minutes?

woke up this morning feeling lousy, which is an improvement over yesterday, when i was MISERABLE. still no evacuation yet. just took second dose of mineral oil. gonna give it til about 730, then go to medcheck if no improvement (they close at 8) i just know you were all on the edge of your seat waiting for the latest news, and i aim to please.”

“as a sidenote, i am sorry if anyone is offended or feels this is inappropriate, but ive been in a lot of pain the last couple of days and im beyond caring. so ignore me or ignore this thread if you have a problem.”

“I really hope you feel better very soon!

its not a nice thing you are going through....”

“2scoops, I feel your pain, dude.

I hope everything works out in the end.”

“~groan~ bit”

“Hey, I could have said comes out in the end...”

“aloe vera juice.”

“Which end does he put that in, twiggy?”

“ok now i am getting offended!

LOL”

“Hey, it's an important question!”

“he drinks it bit. :)

It also heals.”

“OK, just checking.

Heck, people are telling him to drink some stuff and put other stuff up his ass. I've never seen aloe vera used any way except topically, I thought it might be important.”

“ya nevah know!

A friend of mine's slighty illiterate uncle went to the doc for his eye. The doc gave him a prescription for some pills for his eye. He went home and put the pill on his eye. He was half blind cause of that little boo boo!

But juice bitpusher, ya drink juice. =D”

“Well, you drink coffee too, but that didn't stop my stepfather from giving himself a coffee enema...lol...”

“This thread is awesome! but I feel treebait knows just a tad too much about the backend of the gastrointestinal system. Care to explain?”

“Here's my guess: Motherhood.”

“If not aloe vera juice I'd vote for castor oil - also very good for you.
and that would be drinking it bit... :)”

“Castor oil would probably work in the other end, and then you wouldn't have to taste it...”

“2scoops, you should try 2 scoops (of raisins).”

“...or prunes”

“Constipation? Oooh, that sure 'stinks'. Hope you 'wipe' it out!”

“Hey, I know! Call UpUrs! Where's UpUrs when you need her?”

“Call RotaRooter!”

“You got the drinkable mineral oil? Dude, an enema is much faster. If you were just going to drink something you should have gone with castor oil.”

“Scoops! If only this were something that you gave a sh it about, you wouldn't have this problem.

j/k hope you feel better...”

“ohhh - it's going to hurt too when it finally happens....

better get something to bite down on because it will feel like your butt hole is giving birth to an alien.

enjoy

;)”

“Go to the doctor.

A friend of my daughter died just last year from an interstinal blockage. The doctor had given him an enema but I guess he was embarrassed to tell him that it hadn't worked. About 12 hours later he was dead.”