Artex Strikes Again

“GRUNDY CENTER, IA—Police are investigating the vicious farmland slaying of a prize hog whose methodically gutted corpse was discovered Tuesday in the barn of local livestock farmer Lyle Whitman. "It appears the hit was done with a large butcher knife or some similar cutting implement," said Grundy County Deputy Keith Angrim at a press conference Tuesday. "The hog was hung by its feet with its belly sliced open and its head removed. In addition, all the blood had been drained from the animal's body, and its internal organs were missing." Given the meticulous but brutal nature of the killing, Angrim said he believes the hog was "taken out by a professional."”

“professionaL Hog killer?

what the heck idsthat?”

“Sounds like someone was hunger for some chittlens and head cheese!”

“I do not understand the Artex reference.

I have met Artex on the trail, swapped e-mail and posts, every interaction has indicated that he is the opposite of brutal.

I am assuming this is a joke but just don't get it.”

“It wasn't our Artex. Artex don't need no stinkin knife!”

“


its an old photo of him”

“Beat me to it!”

“Warning! Photos from the crime scene here!
You may want to have small children and those with weak stomachs leave the room!”

“Do you get it now Manuka? A wee bit slow to the draw eh?”

“OK, thought it was a joke.”

“Like I said, Artex don't need no stinkin knives. He did that with his bare hands and then danced with the cadaver.”

“And whatever you do, don't ask him for his jerky. No telling where it came from!”

“Artex- Lakota for "Dances with Pigs".”

“LOL”

“I know it was Artex.

I sharpen his knives!”

“Sorry, I have several witnesses that will vouch I never left Florida. However, I bet that sucker packed a lot of meat. I'm glad I'm not the only person that understands one can never have enough bacon.”

“My work here is done.

Carry on my blessed TT'ers.


Moohahahahaaaaaa”

“All right, Artex, we're lettin' ya go this time. But we'll be watching. Keep your nose clean, see?”

“Don't believe him. Not for one stinkin' second.

Have kayak will travel...or so I've been told!”

“He kills hogs with his kayak? wow...”

“Yeah TT, and I bet those "witnesses" have a freezer full of hog!”

“mmmhhhmmmm.

He probably threatened them with deadly bodily functions if they refused to corroborate his story.”

“Here, here!

MORE BACON!”

“well?
how many of you freaks started dancing??

put a little bacie in your bootie did it?”

“a what?”

“"bacie in your bootie"? LMAO!! you're nuts.”

“mmmmmmmmmmmm...bacon!”

“Ahhh, Trail Talk, where I get all the pertinent news of the day!”

“oh, hurl muffins!”

“I don't think that's what he'd be hurling, lyra...”

“Yummy, Bit! Cream of Chick Soup!”

“You guys are sick!”

“i am seriously feeling nauseous!

and guess what, after work, i'm going to see some show on the mall involving Britney Spears (in the rain)...so the nausea will only increase. LOL!! something to do with football? something.”

“Does anybody else think this was just a case of foreplay gone horribly wrong?”

“LOL

That's so nasty!”

“Britney Spears.. skimpy clothing... rain...

Can't aruge with that formula.”

“Perhaps she would go good over rice...”

“Depends on how juicy she was, TB...”

“Britney has that juicy look. She could even be kosher if she is killed right...”

“"Oops I did it again"? Was that what you were humming to yourself as you slaughtered the hog?”

“He was singing, 'Here comes the bride'”

“damn, this thread is sick even for you freaks of nature!”

“Artex's jerky is great. I recommend it highly.”

“It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Artex fritters...”

“You guys can go ahead and make fun of Artex the Unmerciful if you want to, but if you noticed, that hog was not smiling! He wasn't happy!”

“LOL TB”