While the cat's away.....

“dammit... link ”

“While the Cat's Away: Methamphetamine Lab Set Up in Vacationing Deputy Sheriff's Empty House
channels.attbusiness.net


A Putnam County sheriff's deputy's house has become a crime scene.

But the deputy's not to blame. Authorities are looking for a man they say constructed a methamphetamine lab at the deputy's West Virginia house while the officer was on vacation. The declined to identify the deputy.

Chief Deputy John Dailey said Wednesday that officers learned that the deputy's relative staying in the house was producing the drug. The deputy, vacationing out of state, allowed authorities to search the house.

"I guess the relative thought `What better place than this to have a meth lab?'" Dailey said. "He made a victim out of one of our officers."

Dailey declined to release the relative's name but said no arrests have been made.”

“Meow!”

“I opened this thread thinking that Mrs. Chili had gone off to visit family and Chili was spending his evenings in Hooters.

False advertising, counselor!”

“Selling speed out of a sheriff's house? Even if he is a relative. Can you say 'brass balls'?”

“Give me some credit, geo. When MrsChili goes off to visit relatives, I go to the strip club.”

“We know she won't go away with out you unless your chastity belt is on and she holds the key!”

“...you are a BAD personage and don't deserve to be married. Hanging around in strip clubs while your wife if away. She should divorce you!

...And by the way, aren't Freemasons supposed to be such fine moral examples. Yeah, right, tell me another one!”

“FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.! "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content


THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD.
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"”

“...and hang in strip clubs, even though they are married!”