Rumsfeld Proposes French Lead U.N. Force

“Rumsfeld Proposes French Lead U.N. Force
(2003-09-05) -- U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld today proposed that France lead a United Nations force to stabilize Iraq and prepare the nation for so called "self rule."

"This was our plan all along," said Mr. Rumsfeld. "The French and Germans have been pretending to oppose us in Iraq. I can show you documents where Jacques Chirac and Gerhard Schroeder agreed to behave like sniveling self-interested ninnies before the war. Then, once we had achieved victory, they would act like arrogant rat snakes, until the U.S. pretended to care about world opinion. Then we'd all join hands, sing Kumbaya and send in the blue helmets under the baton of Kofi Annan."

Mr. Rumsfeld said the plan was designed to "eject Saddam Hussein and install a puppet democracy welfare state then hand out oil franchises like AOL CDs to Security Council members."

The Defense Secretary described the plan as "an unmitigated success."

ScrappleFace”

“(CBS/AP) North Korea called U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld a “psychopath” and a “stupid man” on Saturday, denouncing him for predicting that the country's isolated communist regime will one day fall.

Speaking before a group of U.S. and South Korean businessmen, Rumsfeld said last week that freedom will eventually come and “light up that oppressed land with hope and with promise,” casting aside the dictatorship that has ruled the North for more than half a century.

North Korea, whose media regularly churn out anti-American vituperations, is especially thin-skinned when outsiders attack its political leadership.

KCNA, North Korea's official news agency, said Saturday that Rumsfeld's “outbursts ... can not be construed (other) than a desperate shrill cry of a psychopath on his death bed.””

“South Korea eventually(recently) cast aside its right-wing dictatorship, anything's possible.”

“Well... the North Korean leadership hates Donald Rumsfeld. I'm surprised that Alaska found something nice to say about the man.”

“Cloudwalker posted this bit of humor on the other site and I thought it wasn't one bit funny but actually frickin' briliant...


Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan:

1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega,
Milosovich and the rest of those 'good ole boys.' We will never "interfere" again.

2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would
station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.

3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be
gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days
unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any
more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5. No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise.
This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskanwilderness. The caribou will just have to cope for a while.

7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.

8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9. Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.

Now, ain't that a winner of a plan?”

“Don't forget to get our troops out of Japan. Why do we have 35,000 troops in Japan???

Add to your list: we will get out of Saudi Arabia, and send them a bill for keeping Sadam H. from taking them over after he took over Kuwait. We will also put a limit on the # of barrels of oil, and when the price, that will make alternative fuels economically feasable.”

“Something tells me Robin Williams hates to be associated with the xenophobic ranting of a total jerk-off.”