Ice Tea crashes at 120mph

“Once I get a hold of my self, I'll post the story.”

“Today is a Thursday, just like every other Thursday on my schedual. Writting 101 at 10 am, Mathmatics at 11:15 and Perspectives of business at 3:30. After all classes are wrapped up I head over to Toms dorm to hang out. I chose tom since I he is like 1 of 8 people I know on campus. Tom all so got his eagle scout on the same day as me, so we are tight. We call up Holly to see what she is up to and find that she is going to Jens house to watch a movie. Tom and I leave his dorm as a fire alarm is going off, so I have him lock my lap top up in his lock box and we head to Holly’s (fire alarms go off 24-7). We grab death w/ smoochy and some grub. Once Rainbow Randolf saves the day, we Jen drops us off back at ramapo around 11. Now that we are back I need to grab my stuff from toms room and then head home for sleep since I don’t have housing at Ramapo.

On the way back to his dorm I notice many people in togas. I so want to get in on this party since I haven’t been to a party since I graduated and I don’t know any one so this would be a good time to know people. I must emphasis that I don’t know anybody on campus because this is killing me. I feel so alone and not in control. I have always said that my only fear in life is to be lonely and today it has happened. All my high school friends are in colleges far away and the few people I know don’t want to socialize with other people. This is killing me. I know that 3 of my buddies will be at the toga party, but I have no idea where it is and where they are. So by the Ice Tea rules of coweredness I will not walk into a party by my self, not knowing any one. Toms not game for a party and holly, I wouldn’t ask her to go w/ me. She defiantly doesn’t seem like the beer party goer- maybe pot, but not a kegger.

So get in my car and head home, I think depressed. I have total controll of my emotions every other day. Nothing gets me up or down, I am usualy just me the same as yesterday. But this lonelyness and knowing that I am missing out on good times is killing me. I was boarder line neird in highschool, never going to any real parties and I don’t want to miss out now in college. I know once I graduate college, partying days will be over in place of a real job and adult responsibilities. So I am really upset with my self that I haven’t made as many friends as I would like. Not living on campus sucks, since I only have classes 3 days a week. That puts me only there for 3 days, not enough time to get to know people. Even that is just an alibi that I am making up to justify my lack of social skill. When I blame tom for not going w/ me to the party, it is truly just an alibi. A truly secure individual would have gone w/ or w/o company and made friends when he got there. So I head home.

I get in my 97 terrcel with a 4 calendar engine and head for Hackensack. The main highway I take is route 17, the one w/ campmor. I don’t know what happen, but I was so upset w/ my self I started to punch the door as I drove to try and part my anger at my self upon something else. Then on the ramp to the high way I just smack the peddle to the floor. Since its an automatic I released the gas every so often so the engine can catch up on gears. Then I say to my self, lets go for the no number zone. Keep in mind that the speed limit varries from 50 to 65 on this road. My cars numbers end at 110, and on a usual day I have it up to 90. Driving below 80 on a highway just doesn’t feel right for me. So I shoot for “when the dial stops moving”. Just as when I struck the side door, I push all my anger into this car. Faster and Faster with “Stained fourteen shades of gray blasting on my cd player”. 90mph!! cake, I’ve done this before. Hell I’ve done 111 on the way home from devils path (that’s because I felt indestructible – good mood).... I push 100, the pedal is near the floor and I going as fast as possible. Now comes the down hill. As gravity pulls down the car I push the peddle to the floor to get every last horse in that V4 to roar. 110,111, 112, Faster and faster, staind lead singer cracks into the chores “This is my life It's not what it was before” Faster and faster goes the pink tercel. Now we are well past the numbers and going for the dial not to move. I judge that the dial is about at 120 or so and then the down hill ends. I drop down to 80 and proceed home thinking about what just happened.

I crashed- emotionaly. I think? I am in usual total control, but at school I’ve got nothing under grip except accedemics. The car I think represents something that I can control and will at my will that is why I did what I did. Last nights burst of humor high must have been a prelued to tonights low. For the past 3 weeks w/ my new computer I have been burrying my troubles in Counter Strike multi player. But the company just revamped their net work so CS has been down since last night. Leaving me to TT and home work.

I want to be president of a nation, but I cower when I meet new people. I feel kinda like a failure.

And, I left my backpack at toms place w/ the book I need to read by tomorrow. Ah’ #&%!$! Thankyou spark notes.

Writting this has helped me calm down. thankyou.”

“Try not to kill yourself, okay?

(or any innocent bystanders)

That line about how things can always be worse is God's Truth. You could be shy and not know anyone... and be a quadriplegic riding around in a sip&puff wheelchair, ya know?”

“I didn't feel an erge to kill my self..I think it was the hope to get pulled over and have some one to chatt w/. Like in highschool I would talk with the interesting teachers for hours. Now I know no one.

BTW:
studdies show every one has thought about killing them selves atlest once.”

“You'll meet plenty of people soon enough (the fewer wearing togas, the better off you'll be in the long run). But SLOW that puppy down. You don't want to be spam in the can. Believe me.

What starts as a momentary thrill can turn into a lifetime of crap in the blink of an eye.”

“-almost back to my self:


I need a BMW, so I will stay on the road. THink, a tercel is not ment to go 120, but a beemer is. A beemer will have better control at high speeds. Me getting a BMW is the only solution.”

“Till you don't see that 16 year old girl just learning how to drive pull out in front of you and you Tbone right into her driver's door. The way things usually work, you'll walk away from it and she will be dead or a vegetable the rest of her life. And living with that on your conscience will suck worse than the lawsuit(s)guaranteed to follow.”

“All a beemer will do is get ya killed faster...

You need to get laid.”

“Tea, aren't you some kind of track star? Get out on that track! Be a jock! You'll meet lots of people that way and maybe some chicks. If you want chicks though don't do track. Baseball gets all the chicks.”

“Everybody has a certain amount of luck. You'll run out of it fast soon like that, and then you'll be forcing your bad luck on some who has absolutely nothing to do with you. Show a little responsibility.”

“???”

“Tea, maybe go to the school counselor, OK? You put too much stress on yourself. I'd like to tell you to not worry about crap like being the president of the United States. Not worth the total stress that brings. Set reachable goals. If you get close to that one, you can make that a goal some day.

Try to find some social skills classes, perhaps? They're dorky, but ya might meet some cute dorky girl there.

Also, be involved in track or other activities. Does the college have some kind of recreation program? As in, maybe you can sign up for things to go and do, god knows, maybe even a BACKPACKING trip!

And if there's a party, GO. But don't just drink yourself into stinkin' obliviion. If you make some social errors, big F*in whoop. Geez, just last night I made a big social blunder with a big city officials. I bet they're gonna be laughing awhile. However, it WAS funny. Hey, I was embarrassed, but they'll remember who I am, ya know? Which is not a bad thing.

Most people have those worries you have. Just avail yourself to friends and help to get through it. Please”

“Remind me if I ever meet you not to sit in your car!! :D

I did that once. Only difference: I DID CRASH at 100mph!! Not a good feeling I'm telling ya. So!! STOP it!!

So listen, all your good TT friends don't count?? I thought you had lots of friends here?”

“Ice Tea, you really want to work on being comfortable with yourself. Be happy being alone and you won't be so high strung. Going to keggers where you don't know anyone is tough. But you need to remember that tons of people there don't know anyone either. Some of us actually used to watch TV at keggers. That was how I met one of my boyfriends at college, he happened to be sitting next to me when a whole crowd of us were watching the winter olympics.”

“Tea, drop out of college and join the Marine Corps. Your country needs you in Iraq.”

“Keith, I have met you, your social skills are perfectly fine. It is normal to be afraid to walk into a party where you don't know anyone. Don't beat yourself up for having that fear.

The way to meet people is to join some clubs/organizations/activities. That way you meet people with similar interests in a setting where there isn't a lot of pressure on anyone to do anything other than have a good time.

And forget the Beemer. As others have said, if you're lucky, you'll only hurt yourself. But you really could ruin your life that way.

Oh, sorry, one more thing. Don't spend so much time on the computer. That is going to do nothing for your happiness or your social skills/social life.”

“Cool story. Now go to a kegger and kill yourself the right way- with beer!”

“yikes, dude! Tea, you've been at college for what, approximately 2 days or something? people always expect instant party-time and 200 friends out of their first second at college...just give it some time! just keep from killing yourself during the first week, and it will only get better.”

“My suggestion is that you take your car and see if you can drive it a little faster and this time hit a wall. And take your little friends Briar Rabbit and Opie the redneck with you. You pieces of sh_t know what I am talking about. For the rest of you, pardon my ranting as this has nothing to do with any of you and everything to do with those mentioned!”

“D@mn, I didn\'t even know a Terrcel could go over 70, let alone over 100. Impressive!


Now, as to your other problem, the Beemer won\'t solve it. One of the most dangerous Faux Pax in college is to go to a party, get smashed in 5 minutes and let your reputation begin. You need to relax a little, not to worry about what other people think or that you\'re \"alone\", cause you\'re not. Your friends and family might be far away, but you\'re not alone. If you have idle time, go BPing, vollenteer at a Soup Kitchen or something, but keep occupied, you\'re there to learn, to get an education, not to fit in with the \"in\" crowd. This is the most important part of your young life. What you do now shapes your immediate future and beyond. Try to avoid silly actions like the other night, that\'s taking the next step to becoming a responisble ADULT. High school is over, you\'re in the big leagues now. If you EVER get tempted again, think about the people who care about you and then turn the car off. Understandibly (if that\'s even a word), what you did was irresponisble, you coulda killed yourself, or WORSE, slammed into a car that carried people you didn\'t even know, maybe woulda had small children, infants in it. I do not mean to judge or condem, I have done many, many very, very stupid things, a couple where I should have bought it. Learn from other people\'s mistakes. Learn to control your anger, your fear. It worked for me. Other people should not have to pay the price.”

“The little Nazi must be in class”

“BTW, Tea. What schools did you go to that made you so freakin' illiterate?”

“OK, I'll bite......Wadd up wid that, TB?”

“Laq, I'll be glad to e mail when my Outlook is back up here at work. I am going to stop because I could talk this kid into the ground if i put my mind to it and I don't want to take up any more space with that much negativity here. No one wants to read my rantings and i don't blame them...”

“He needs to get his heiny perpendicular, get off the video games and join the Campus Young Republicans. Tea, your party needs you!”

“Yes, like Aero said, the Nazi party needs you! New Jersey Uber Alles!”

“I can hear him singing all the way to class, "I'm in a Police, state of mind"...


Ok, I will stop now!”

“Sooner or later he will get laid and won't be able to post for a while.”

“Nothing like sex to stand in the way of posting on TT......




No, I'm not here too much, geeez!”

“Why won't he be able to post for a while? Is it because he'll be all grins for a week or because he'll be undergoing a penicillan regimine?”

“Both.”

“Very true...isn't that when you get laid for the first time, you call up everyone you know and tell them? Hell, he can reach million with just a mouse click!”

“Tea, Your 'problem' is that you're perfectly normal. I think Tilt, Mtnsteve, Fritz and Laqtis are right on the money. We've all been through it and it does get better.

I believe it was in 'Brideshead Revisited (Evelyn Waugh) that the hero's pain-in-the-@ss cousin telles him that he'll spend his second year in university getting rid of the friends he made in his first. He was a pain, but he (Waugh, of course) was right. Things pass. Don't lose your focus.

BTW, I'm going to post elsewhere about Treebeard - things aren't right.”

“He seems to have a mouth big enough to try and defend himself, Grem. If you don't know the facts, then maybe you shouldn't get involved...”

“even Sarabelle is more literate that this nincompoop...

As for being lonely...being alone is ok, being lonely is your own fault. If your social skills are anything like your writing skills, you have no hope, whatsoever, but if Fritz vouches for you, then that's enough for me.

Go get some counciling...see a priest, hit up your Dr, or hire a hooker...If you are that close to Secacus....drive into NY and go to china town and eat...go to the village...sheesh I hate to say this, but GROW UP!!!”

“"Tea, drop out of college and join the Marine Corps. Your country needs you in Iraq."

I literally have tears running down my face bacpac. I haven't had a good gafaw like that in a while! ROTFSMPIL [rolling on the floor shltting my pants in laughter]”

“120 in a Tercel - what a moron. Tell us Ice Tea - when did you upgrade the brakes in your car? Or did you think the stock brakes were going to slow you down quickly in an emergency. You need to have your self-absorbed ignorant melon thumped, you little punk.”

“Being a 34 year old, simi-mature person I found Tea's story to be very outrageous but then I think back to when I was his age and it makes perfect sense. [skeery!]”

“Ice Tea? Is this you?

Okay, first of all the lecture.....PLEASE REFRAIN FROM BEING A DUMBASS AND TRYING TO PHUCK UP YOUR LIFE OR SOMEONE ELSES BY BEING A RECKLESS DRIVER!!!

Okay, that said, listen...I don't know you all that well...have just talked on the phone...but from that conversation and what others have siad about you... you are good "kid" - you've got so much going for yourself!!!

Discovering yourself and liking who you are is a rough road - BUT - everyone on the face of the planet is either going through or has gone through what you're going through right now - and they survived - and even better - grew from it into really awesome people!

Relax. Enjoy who you are and go to the parties (although most people I know who partied like frat boys all through college are the most unintersting dorks I know) or even better, find other things that are fun to do with friends - new or old.

People will like you as long as you are confident and real (granted, not always the easiest place to be at all times). And if they don't like you - phuck em - they are dorks - stick with your real friends. Oh, and don't try to please everyone. But also don't be a stubborn jacka$$.

Maybe you should get a Prince Albert? LOL!!! I'm soooo just joking!!!! :)



Okay fellow coeds - I think we need to kidnap this poor boy and teach him to play like the "big kids"!! ;)”

“This reminds me of the "deflowering" scene in Almost Famous...”

“Ice Tea, you are no different than a gang banger spraying a neighborhood in a drive by shooting.

Cars kill 3 times the number of people that guns do, and as Stickmanwalking pointed out you will kill or maim some innocent just because you feel sorry for yourself.”

“Guys - ease up just a small hair. Didn't any of you do really stupid things as a frustrated youth? If you're going to berat him (and he should be for being a speeding dumba$$ - and I say that out of love) at least follow up with some sort of relating to the situation story.”

“120 in a pink Tercel? BWAHAHAHA! It probably sounded like a vacuum cleaner on "high"!”

“If you are directing that at me, Twinks, I meant what i said about him and have stopped...”

“Oh dear - Treebeard - I just read all your posts and have no clue what you are talking about.

Anyway, it was directed at everyone.

But what the heck is going on here between you guys?”

“that is so true, Twinkle! i always think it's hilarious how Tea brings out the "older, wiser, advice-giver" in everyone. LOL!! i'm guilty of it too, i know. but for real, everyone just loves to yell at him...ha! i'd like to place bets on how many of us follow our own advice, or somehow know the right thing to do w/out having any experience.
;-)”

“Tea, you are feeling what many freshmen go through when they first go to college. I know how tough it can be, I felt the same way because I too had a hard time meeting people at first. As the time passes, you'll meet more people and your social life WILL become more exciting (trust me on this one).

And don't drive like a maniac again, OK???”

“As Budder said this is very common. I'm sure your school has some very good cousilers that have helped many a young, confused students through this.”

“Tea, drop out of college and join the Marine Corps. Your country needs you in Iraq."
bacpac
07:23:09 AM
09/12/03

Lol, pretty good. At least with bacpac you get a funny post every once in a while to make up for the stupid ones.”

“God I'm glad I don't have to go through this crap anymore!

Tea, you have my sympathy, bud. Things do get better.”