Hope She Was Wrapped Properly...

“Would that have a negative effect on bringing her back to life? Hey, inquiring minds want to know!

Wife”

“but tragic...maybe Shakespear wrote it.

"Don't try this at home, boys and girls, we are trained professionals".”

“Anyone see "FrankenHooker?"”

“Yes... 'tragi-comic'.


I love the dead before they're cold,
Their blueing flesh for me to hold.
Cadaver eyes upon me see nothing.
I love the dead before they rise,
No farewells, no goodbyes.
I never even knew your now-rotting face.
While friends and lovers mourn your silly grave.
I have other uses for you, Darling.

-- Alice Cooper”

“Thy most beautiful bride who with garlands is crowned,

And kills with each glance as she steps on the ground,

'Though she's beautiful now and sweet to the scent,

She'll be damnably mouldy one hundred years hence.

So why should we toil in cares and in fears,

Turn all our tranquility to sighs and to tears?

Let's eat, drink and be merry till the worms do corrupt us,

'Tis certain post mortem nulla voluptus.

For health, wealth and beauty, wit learning and sense,

Will all come to nothing one hundred years hence.

(Daphne du Maurier)”

“C'Mon Everbuddy! It's time for a sing-along!

I.... love the dead!
I.... love the dead!
I.... love the dead!
I.... love the dead!
I.... love the dead!
I.... love the dead!
I.... love the dead!


(too bad Mitch Miller didn't live to see this)”

“Jeebus Cripes! It was in Phenox! What'd ya expect him do? Gets powerful hot out there!”

“Want a date?”

“"Yes... I'm Quite Handy with the Ladies... I love 'em from the top of their heads to the tag on their toes."

-- Emo Philips”

“"crimes against the dead."? o jesus

is anybody else thinking of "pet semetary" right now?”

“Damn, my sister lives in Prescott. I'll have to ask her if she knows this wackjob.

Treebeard, if he used a Seal-a-Meal, he could avoid freezer burn. :D”

“lmao”

“New from RONCO

make your very own WIFECICLES!”

“Do they make the bags that big?

Anybody else notice that the guy was more than 30 years older than his wife?”

“So, how old will she be when he brings her back?”

“With all of her physical problems, why would he want to???”

“I think I'm gonna show my wife this story.



Then, in a couple of weeks, I'm going to buy a biiiiiiig chest freezer.”

“I know a guy who has a wifecicle, but she's still walking around.”