Married People Who Think They're Dating

“there's a Madonna joke there, somewhere.”

“She stole the traffic cones.







Mapleleaf, I have to say that I for one, don't want my husband near me when I am throwing up, and I don't want to be near him when he is throwing up.

Just a little difference between couples I guess. I don't think that he would accuse me of not loving him just because I feel this way.

And anyone who would have all those cookie crumbs and trash strewn rooms just because they are not married, are in need of reprocessing. Trash strewn because of real kids and not just juvenile adults is okay though.”

“Messy

Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater's been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His books are all jammed in the closet,
His vest has been left in the hall.
A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Robert or Willie or--
Huh? You say it's mine? Oh dear,
I knew it looked familiar!

Shel Silverstein”

“My kids love the Matilta movie made from a Shel Silverstein book. It stars Danny DeVito and his wife and they are a riot.”

“Matilda?

Wasn't that Roald Dahl?

"And anyone who would have all those cookie crumbs and trash strewn rooms just because they are not married, are in need of reprocessing"

Please refer to "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy".”

“Reprocessing?

Soylent Green?”

“Re-education camp for the slob!”

“Ooops, yes that was Roald Dahl, not Shel, silly me. But it was a great movie, regardless. My kids are finally graduating from cartoons.

Can't there be a cat parasite that makes men into neatniks?”

“no child should ever graduate from cartoons.

I love watching the old ones.

Bugs Bunny Rules!!


let's not forget BEEP BEEP”

“Where did all the REAL cartoons go? I haven't seen ole Beep Beep in ages.”

“I think Nick or Cartoon.

I know Disney plays a bunch of Disney ones like Mickey Mouse/ Pluto.

Good stuff.”

“hmmmmm. How about some robotic pets that cleaned the house for us (instead of crapping on the carpet)?”

“What about those that get all possessive on you? They insist on an exclusive relationship way too early. I hate that and it's a closer for the relationship.”

“lol dhutch, I was gonna start a thread with that title.

My comments were going to be different, but yours are pretty good.”

“I've been married thirty some odd years to my 'first' sweetheart. Sometimes I think we should be in therapy, sometimes we are still dating.”

“Tilt ordered me to proceed to this thread. am i too obedient? anyway, i too am a married person who goes on dates sometimes. on our last date we went to the nickel arcade and played old Atari & Nintendo video games. then we had dinner, and then we had... well, you dating marrieds know.”

“Yeah, we know. Wink wink, nudge nudge.”

“so... is your wife a go-er? i mean, does she go? wink wink, nudge nudge, know what i mean?”

“This is as much as I feel that I can divulge oh bubble of the tar. She is a go-go-goer. She is just on a different schedule than I am. However, when those schedules coincide......fireworks, my lady, fireworks.”

“say no more!”

“Yes, please!”

“Can't there be a cat parasite that makes men into neatniks?"
LyndyS
03:40:48 PM
09/23/03


More male-bashing...

Truth is, I am a lot neater than my wife. And it does drive me nuts. And it is a problem for me every time she wants to yell at the kids or punish them for not putting things away. She is as bad as they are!”

“A little woman-bashing...

Can't there be a cat parasite that makes men into neatniks?"
LyndyS
03:40:48 PM
09/23/03

Yes, it's called the Shrewish, Anal-retentive, Cat-loving Wife...lol...”

“Mapleleaf said "nad".”

“Yow.”

“It will take more than a cat parasite to make me into a neatnik.

Oh yeah, I'm allergic to cats too!”

“Wow, Tilt, there is a whole psychology lesson buried in there somewhere!

Hey Fritz, it is tough to be neat when everyone in the house is messy. How do you handle it? I think I cope by becoming blind to the mess. Then all of a sudden I get my vision back and get all aggravated. And I wasn't male bashing, just wishing for some kind of magical transformation for one particular male.”

“Not my style Bitpusher, but tell me, is that your wife's?”

“lol,no, but she could use one!”

“this thread sucks a$$ badly. I should post something terrible to kill it. I don't know enough GDMFSOB words to bring that about.”

“Don't sell yourself short!

<VBG>”

“is this a better stlye?

LyndyS
04:15:59 PM
09/24/03">”

“crap!!


”

“Half man, half suppository.”

“Cat parasite???

No cats allowed in my house!!!”

“thanks tom, you left the door wide open for a good dirty joke, but i can't bring myself to do it.

Gemini help me out here?
your the brave bad girl!!”

“Let me guess. It starts with a p and ends with a ussy.”

“"If God were a woman, she would have made men with their d i c k' s on the end of their chins."

-Someone- I forget”

“mapleleaf, you can doooooo it!”

“to bad you tant got no P U S S Y at home!!


yup this is where the gates of hell opens up and takes me down.. i only said it because its your birthday...”

“it's only fair to bring this back to the top.

I heart my hubby *sigh*”

“I really want to find a nice man that is a good friend that I can grow old with. I am such a romantic....”

“I just want my dinner on the table hot, when I get home from work.”

“hahaha, maple got laid... ;)”

“LOL Gemini!

I just want a warm body in bed.....a female one..........with me........make that a living human female who's not near death in bed with me.

Is it possible for me to cover all the bases?”

“bearmagnet, meet pixie

Pixie, bearmagnet”

“I was just kidding people.”

“Thanks Geo! Got a fix for that geography issue?

WK: Where's my chicken pot pie & bud! I come home from a long day and all I need is dinner and a brew! Time for a beeotch slappin!”