Protect Thyself, Tom Terrific!

“...When someone will try and bite your nuts off!


Bite Me”

“They must have big squirrels in your neck of the woods.Sheesh our Canadian squirrels only reach a height of 2 ft. at the shoulder.What do you feed them anyway??”

“YOW!!!

The only fun incidents we've had here are the occasional late night yankers who insist on showing it to some female patron.

One dude even gave some poor girl a "shoeful".......eeeeeeee-uuuuuuuuu”

“Robbed a library? Sheesh! What, are they working their way up to lemonade stands?

And the $71 was recovered from her underwear?

"Uhhh, that's OK, you can keep it..."”

“They may have to keep her bloomers as evidence.”

“Here's a fun case going on in our fair city:
(The downstairs renters, upset with thier landlady, dressed up as "Indians" and tried to scalp her....)

Police officers called to testify earlier at trial said they found Richard Vernes on top of Luella Loga cutting her head with a knife. He had paint on his face, a feather in his hair and was wearing only western chaps and white thong underwear.

The officers said Pamela Vernes was wearing a piece of leopard skin cloth around her waist and also had her face painted. She was beating Ella Loga with a stick when the officers intervened. Prosecutors said the woman and her mother would have been killed had police not arrived.
the story”

“Sure, aero, you gotta be makin' this up!

Nice job!”

“Newgirl will vouch for me- I think they're her neighbors!

I swear, in my wildest hallucinations, I could not make this up!

Prosecutors allege Pamela and Richard Vernes attacked 53-year-old Luella Loga and her 82-year-old mother, Ella Loga, on July 5, 2002. The couple wore face paint, feathers and strange outfits during the attack, later telling police they were on the warpath and wanted to scalp their landlady after being evicted from Luella Loga's downstairs apartment.”

“The White Thong Tribe strikes again!

I'm sorry that I didn't get to bite Tom when I was in Baltimore. I'll bet librarian tastes real good.”

“...like chicken!”

“librarians the other white meat”

“Wonder if he'd be tough and stringy?”

“I think you have to soak him in whiskey overnight.”

“Mmmmm, marinated librarian...”

“That would make a good name for a rock band. The Marinated Librarians. They totally rock, man!”

“*giggle*

I think that I have to read this thread over again, after a couple of drinks. Then I will post a "LMAO".

Marinated librarians and smoked water environmentalists beget buffet scarfing boyscouts?”

“I could see someone trying that crap with Tom! He'd lay his book down, take his specticals on a chain off, shake out the bun in his hair and come out fighting with knitting needles akimbo!

"Try to bite ME in the labia will ya? HAHA! Take that, and that!"”

“Nigel, did you take your clients' medicines again?”

“HEY! I went to the nervous hospital and got that script all on my own. I even gots my own name on the outside of the bottle to prove it!
8)”

“Wow!
I spend a couple of hours in the stacks and I missed some good @*%$#@^&!@%#.

I seldom post it, but...ROTFLMAO %^]

And WTF is the nervous hospital?

If that's what I think it is, then I walk by one going to and from work.”

“That ain't a story about oscar is it?”

“Bite Whom?”