Smartest Criminals Thread!

“...now, this dude's reasoning is one of the mpst sound examples of thinking I have heard in a while!


Avoid getting the crap kicked out of you”

“Dem loan sharks will bust yer knees!”

“couldn't you cut & paste it???”

“the chipmunk who got into my pack last week in Algonquin and started eating my Gorp.Apparently he was checking it for bad raisins and poor quality peanuts.HMMMM... I`m trying to remember if my wife broke his knee caps or not...coming to think of it,I think he ended up in a cassorole or was it a shishkabob darn I can`t remember!!!”

“hey Flyguy! You trying to bust my balls or my kneecaps? :)”

“Paddles, you seem to have a thing about rodents...”

“They remind me of my Mother -inlaw.You know small hairy,always around. (LOL)”

“lol, Paddles...”

“Dumb Mofo!

Man Steals ID of Sex Offender




CLINTON, Conn. (AP) -- A good rule of thumb for an identity thief is not to steal the name of someone whose reputation is worse than yours, such as a sex offender.

Police said James Perry stole the name and identity of a neighbor who turned out to be a convicted sex offender.

Perry stole the identity of Robert Kowalski in order to obtain a drivers license, police said. Perry was living in Florida at the time and Kowalski was his neighbor.

Perry had four drunken driving arrests which he believed would make it difficult to get a license legally in Connecticut, police said.

Perry moved to Connecticut about a year ago and things went well until Perry was arrested for disorderly conduct.

A routine computer check found that "Kowalski" was a convicted sex offender in Michigan and not registered as required with the state of Connecticut.

Every bit of identification in his possession labeled the suspect as "Kowalski," but man himself was adamant that he was not a convicted sex offender, police said.

Finally, a check of his fingerprints revealed "Kowalski" to be James Perry.

Perry was released from Superior Court in Middletown Thursday on a promise to appear for his next court date Oct. 10 on charges of criminal impersonation, with charges of identity theft and forgery.

Copyright 2003 Associated Press. All rights reserved”

“stupid A S S”

“Man sentenced in casino robbery
Billings Gazette

A Billings man who said a bartender misunderstood him during a casino robbery was sentenced Tuesday to 10 years at Montana State Prison.

Gary Michael Byrd, 32, was sentenced for the March 19 robbery at Sam's Place Casino. He was arrested April 11 after several people identified him from a surveillance camera photo.

Prosecutors said in court records that Byrd entered the casino with a female companion at about 9 p.m. The couple left, but Byrd returned a short time later and sat at the bar alone.


The bartender told police she brought the man a beer and was turning away when he summoned her back. Byrd told the female bartender he had a gun and demanded money, but never displayed a weapon, prosecutors said.

On Aug. 8, Byrd pleaded guilty to the felony charge, but denied telling the bartender he was armed. His public defender, Kobi Gibbs, told the judge that Byrd does not like guns and has never used a gun during a robbery. Gibbs said Byrd actually told the bartender he "had to run," which the bartender misunderstood as "I have a gun."

Byrd has three prior convictions for robbery in which he used a knife.

Byrd apologized Tuesday before he was sentenced and said he hopes to get treatment while in prison for a drug addiction.”

“Where's Rush Limbaugh when you need him?”

“Five down, 23 to go!”