Divorce Sucks

“There has been threads on "Dating Sucks" and "Married People who think they are dating". So I thought I would start one on divorce. Since I am in the process of one right now I don't feel I can express my opinion on here.
Anyone care to tell the horror stories of there divorce.”

“Don't focus on the horror stories. It only sucks for about a year. The process makes it suck that much more What is meant to be, will be. What made mine more bearable? Agreeing to handle most ourselves knowing the lawyers would feed heavily on us if we let them. After 12 years, I know I made the right decision for both of us and the kids(he now agrees) We are good friends and the ex has been a great father. That's probably the way it should have been from the beginning.”

“Ewker, you know you are not alone in how you feel.

I have been there and it's not pretty. But i promise the pain and most of the hatred will go away.
you will learn to trust and love again. it just takes time.





(plus i just bought a new shovel to bury things)”

“It will be the best day of your life!!!”

“After being a primary Caregiver for my ex the last seven of 15 1/2 yrs of marriage, my ex experienceda recovery...and proceeded to tell her family that she thought she had another go round left in her, and proceeded to have it...60 men in sixty days...(She kept a log, and I found it!). Since I was home most weekends and evenings, she was doubling and in some cases, "Tripling" up to meet the total....

So can you say DIVORCE?...”

“I could tell you some horror stories, but you don't need that right now. I hope it goes smoothly. Hang in there Ewker, we're all behind you brother!”

“Think of the mathematical possibilities if they were all 60 years old!”

“Ewker, divorce sucks, but think about the better life that you'll have after it's all over...”

“Yeah, what Gemini said. You could end up like me! Damn, you lucky dog!!!!!”

“Buddha Bear, not sure I can be the player you are. You have set a high standard...lol”

“Player.... I'm no player Ewker, that's a common misnomer. I'm the single guy that won't give anybody a chance, you don't want to go there.”

“and proceeded to have it...60 men in sixty days

How could you not have known?”

“I hope things work out fer ya!”

“Good luck Ewker. Sorry you have to go through it.”

“"Player.... I'm no player Ewker, that's a common misnomer. I'm the single guy that won't give anybody a chance, you don't want to go there."
Buddha Bear
09:23:26 AM

lol BB

Could I be the female Buddha Bear? But I do agree Ewker, you don't want to go there, at least not for long.”

“"...(She kept a log, and I found it!). "

"Log" being the operative word.”

“hey ewker,
i've never been married, but i've had some tough break-ups. i feel for you. chin up!!”

“Ewker - Fortunately I have not been divorced, but want you to know we are thinking about you. Finding and staying close to people who will encourage you seems like a good idea.”

“go hiking a lot - that is what helped me the most - burn off the stress and anger”

“Good luck Ewker. Thankfully, I have no experience in this matter, but if things get really bad we can give Geobeet's cousins (Sal and Louie) in South Philly a call!”

“Be the meanest SOB you can stand to be if she and her lawyer go that route.
I was in such an emotional shock during mine I allowed her to take everything, and she did.
It took me a year to get back on my feet.”

“Ewker hang in there for what's rightfully yours..Then go on..When you can't change it you have to deal with it..It does get better...33 years.. now I'm free as a bird and I fly me everywhere and have had the best time meeting the best people on earth,TT'ers.Seeing things I never knew existed..I'm having a blast being divorced.. :~ )”

“Though it doesn't seem like it right now, you will be happier in the long run -- that is, if you can let go of the pain and anger. It may take a while, but holding on to bitterness only ruins your life and gives your ex continued control over you and your emotions. My husband is now friends with his ex-wife, as am I, though we never thought that would end up being possible. There was initially so much anger on both sides. Ten years later, we can sit and talk easily, all the family celebrations are shared with the kids and grandkids and no one has to choose sides or deal with leftover emotions.”

“""...(She kept a log, and I found it!). "

"Log" being the operative word."
Tom Terrific

Tom,
I want you to know you make me laugh to everyday! You are hilariuos. I hope I get the chance to hike or meet you someday.

I have Never been married, so I have never been divorced. Unfortunatly, I sure have felt like it a few times.
My only advice is:
Time heals all wounds.
Best of luck Ewker.
We are here for ya, even the non-divorcee's”

“sorry for typo's in that last post...”

“SNAFU29, thank you very much for the kind words.

Really though, aero is a much funnier guy.”

“:-(
Sorry Ewk. Hope you know we'll do whatever we can to help.”

“Ewker, sorry that you are having a tough time, but we are your friends, and from what you have posted on this board in the past, it sounds like it couldn't end any other way than divorce. So stick up for your rights, and keep your eye on the bright horizon. If your kids are upset, they will get past it and build a relationship with you as a single dad rather than half of a group called "the parents".”

“Oh and Supertroll, YEOW! Did your wife have a head injury before embarking on her quest? Too bizarre. Sorry that you had to deal with THAT! Sounds kinda like that cat parasite got a hold of her.”

“like I said I can't really say much on here but there is one thing that they are asking for and that is a list of people I have backpacked with and where we went.

I am going to talk to the lawyer about that. I don't want anyone to be dragged into this.

Please accept my apologizes and I am very sorry about all of this.”

“Ewker, I was just thinking about you yesterday. Keep your chin up, bud, and know that things will get better.”

“I'll vouch for you on any trip i was at or near! Hit me up..i'll give you all my info!”

“Sounds pretty standard. Good luck and have some calming tea.”

“fuk off!!!

Ewker. I went through a divorce 4.5 years ago. It was hard. At the same time, my company was being sold, so, I decided to transfer and relocate so that I could stay with the same employer. Talk about rough...Age 40 and single again, and now living in a VERY different place. Talk about a mid-life crises...I did what any struggling person would do...I went to France.

Actually, Divorce has been good for me...yes, there are lonely moments, where I slide into instant depression, but, Khatru makes me come right out. Get a dog and you won't be lonely...and you have your children, so, there will always be a connection to your (soon to be) former wife. Mine still remains a good friend, we don't talk so frequent now (she's remarried). But, with the new found freedom, I have been able to do what makes my heart feel good, backpacking and canoeing. I have met all of you and been able to reinvent myself due to the divorce...so for me, I was lucky, I landed on my feet and have been running and having fun ever since...I wish this to be your fate too...be happy my friend...life is NOT over, its just beginning...come to Missouri sometime.

oh yeah...follow one of the Dali Lhama's rules for a good life...

Go someplace and do something new, at least once per year, for the rest of your life.

I've been doing this numerous times each year for 4.5 years...I'm having the time of my life. And...I've loved and lost and met some mighty special people, your included in that group...TT is great.”

“Well first off you begin to hate your wife, then you begin to hate all women...”

“Divorce sucks, true, as does any breakup, or especially a longterm breakup (I can hardly remember the divorce of 1988... but surely do remember the issues when the relationship of 7 years ended in 99)

On that same note, don't be in a hurry to get married again. Many end in divorce.

Oh well.. ya know what? Ya move on and meet lots of people. Some will stick; some won't. But do unglue the problem. lol”

“I'm there w/ you Ewker. The sucky part for me, he never married me, so we have 5 yrs. and a child between us that have to be dealt w/, w/out the aid of a final, legal closure. All very painful, I wish you luck.”

“Im with what opie said. you need anything just ask!!”

“My divorce Mantra: "It is better to have loved and lost than to have spent your whole damn life with her."

Divorce is terrible, but if you learn from it - better things will come into your life.”

“You could go on a yr. long "woman-free" vacation Ewker. Personally, I think that my decision to do that is going to be end up being very healthy for me. I can get my head straight and concentrate on my child.”

“60 huh.... wow.”

“Same here as with Opie.
Any help you need, you have.
Just ask.”

“Ewker - Don't worry, as outgoing, friendly, and well liked as you are, you'll have women crawling all over you when you are ready.

But do stick up for what limited rights you have now. Don't do as I did and play dead. It'll all pass.

Email me if you need any pointers on what not to do. ;)”

“Newgirl --

Sounds like Belowzero has moved out again . . .

Best wishes getting back on track.

You seem to have a strong sense of self and direction in other aspects of your life . . .maybe taking a hiatus would be a good thing.

Ewker --

Good luck . .. . I have just watched a client deal with the nasty divorce of one son, only to be hit with the pending divorce of a second son within a week after the first one closed . . ..remote, I know . ..but the first one was nasty.

Supertroll-

HOLY COW!!!!!!! You read about stuff like that (well . . .I certainly don't read that stuff . .) Did she film it for release on video?”

“hey ewker, feel free to give my name too. i hain't got no problems wit dat. you da man.”

“Hang in there, Ewker. It's going to be very painful for a little while. Your emotions are going to run the gamut and you will feel very confused at times. It's all a part of the healing process. If'n ya want to get together, just give me a shout. I need a good reason to come to Nashberg. Just know in your heart that everything is going to be OK eventually...I promise.”

“When you work three full time jobs to make the bill payments after the one you are married too retires on disability, the only sleep you get is by arranging the 2 days off from each job on cosecutive days, so you get hrs off to sleep....and you can't do it for long before you fall asleep at the wheel and nearly take out a bridge abutment...

oh yeah...the best advice...:

Revenge. And the best revenge is to live well....(I'd follow Stikmon's advice...). I could have dwelled on it and let it ruin my life, but I turned away and forgot her....and the Living Well part is the icing on the cake...”

“Ewker, you wanna do a hike on Nov 8&9? I can make it down your way and do something. I wanna hit the gizzard or savage gulf this year, would that be a good weekend for you?”

“I went through a divorce back in the 80's after 3 1/2 years of hell! Afterwards I felt like I'd been let out of prison or had a death sentence commuted. I had a new lease on life, traveled, backpacked, did all the things I'd wanted to do and had beer in the refigerator! I went for about a year without getting into a relationship, just enjoying life.
I finally got married again 7 years later- much better!”

“hugs.........what ever you do.......DO NOT be nice in the Divorce...if you do you will get screwed!!!,....LISTEN to your lawyer...even if you think he is asking too much for you.......I have found out those things the hard way....”