Tree's Offbeat News Thread!

“you gotta love them french...


......”

“"The "head" judge of the city's appeals court said a "penal" inquiry was being carried out by the police."

The innuendo is not mine.”

“last paragraph:

The head judge of the city's appeals court said a penal inquiry was being carried out by the police while the magistrate was expected to undergo a psychiatric evaluation.

Sounds more like they need a "penile" inquiry to me...”

“Do you think he will BEAT the rap, if they get to the MEAT of the matter? Did he WHACK his gavel or POUND HIS FIST on the bench?”

“Maybe he's TOUCHED in the HEAD?”

“I wanna see this matter fleshed out.”

“arent the french known for there sauces?





thank you and have a good night!!”

“This really is off BEAT news!”

“Or BEAT OFF news, depending on how you look at it...”

“I hope the judge wasn't too HARD ON the defendant...”

“~GROAN~
AND DOUBLE ~GROAN~”

“Maybe he will GET OFF easy...”

“No, he must be punished severely, or other judges will try and get away with the same thing. Perhaps a PUBLIC FLOGGING is in order?”

“am I the only one that wants to know just what was it that turned him on in the first place?”

“That Rosey has ruined more men, the floozy!”

“Rosey covers a lot of ground.”

“Justice will be meted out.”

“Now, that's a judge who has the situation in hand!”

“Do judges wear a frock?

Will this be the de-frocking of da judge?”

“someone please answer me!”

“Something about Rosey O'Donell”

“Rosie O' Donnell turned him on?”

“Ooops, O'Donnell”

“One 'N'/ Two 'N''s . Who cares? How can a guy (even a French judge) get so turned on by Rosie O'Donnell that he would shake hands with Mr. Happy during a court proceeding?”

“Sounds like the judge took matters into his own hand.”

“Got the situation well in hand.

He's probably a Yankees fan.

You wouldn't think this story would have any legs....but for the third leg.

The third leg of politics?”

“I don't know whether the gun accident or the intitiation rites was the more bizarre part of this story!

KKK”

“What would make the story really wild would if "the sherrif were 'near.'"”

“Blazing Saddles, Limpy????”

“...can't imagine an Elvis impersonator with a turban!

Thank ya verruh much”

“Man Gets $7 Million Water Bill

Water Water Everywhere!

At least he had a sense of humor about it. Said the 21 cents worried him. lol”

“"It was just a timing issue," office manager Michelle Workman said. "It caused it to overbill."

Good Lord, what'd they do, bill him for the next century?

I like the city employee who said "no sir, your meter was not misread"

Another classic case of employees exhibiting no capacity whatsoever for independent thought.”

“Once, while out of the country, a mix-up by a friend doing lawn service and real estate people left a faucet was open for 2½ months. My water bill jumped from about $8 to around $200. Ouch.”

“Further proof of the old adage, "To err is human, but to really screw things up, it takes a computer"...”

“I like that, Bit!”

“and that is the truest statement heard all day, Bit!”

“Old demon alcohol strikes again (combined with a little stupidity)

OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma (Reuters) -- An Oklahoma couple were surprised when they woke up and found a drunk burglary suspect asleep in bed with them, police said on Thursday.

The couple from the south Oklahoma city of Ardmore called police, ran out of their house and watched officers arrest the man who was still sleeping in their bed despite the sirens and commotion, police said.

Dan Johnson, 24, was arrested on the scene in the incident that took place on Sunday and was charged with burglary.

Officer Chad Anthony said in his arrest report that it took quite an effort to rouse the suspect from a deep slumber.

"After about two to three minutes, Johnson stood up. I saw that he was very intoxicated," he wrote.

The report said Johnson was found with a cell phone belonging to one of the victims in his pocket and $4 in cash, also apparently stolen.

Johnson is suspected of kicking down a door at the residence and also trying to gain entry by using garden trimmers to pry open a door, the report said.

Police said the couple told officers a man they did not know had fallen asleep in bed with them.

Johnson and the victims would not comment on the incident.”

“Sounds like Robert Downey Jr. all over again!”

“Sound sleepers there.”

“Ah, alcohol. The cause and cure to all of life’s problems.”

“Exactly.”

“Kinky!!!”

“That's why they won't talk about it.”

“I see!

Don't kiss and tell, eh????


Nudge, Nudge!”

“Belch, belch, is probably more like it.”

“My bet is that the guy forgot that he was in somebody else's house burglarizing it. He was half way in the middle of stealing the cell phone, then all of a sudden realized he was tired (and drunk), saw the bed, which coulda been his own, and decided to take a nap. Hey, who has this not happened to at least twice?”

“A guy I know had something similar happen to him. The guy was in the house and drunk as a skunk. No threat to anybody but himself, but in their house.

But he wasn't in their bed.

Talk about waking up and wondering what you did the night before.”

“Aussie rockers get a street named after them!


Rockers AC/DC win some street cred
Sunday, June 6, 2004

MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) -- The rock band that belted out "Highway to Hell" could soon stroll down a lane named in their honor, city officials in the southern Australian city of Melbourne have said.

Melbourne City Council is considering renaming Corporation Lane, a narrow downtown alley, AC/DC Lane as a tribute to the band.

"They are probably the most successful Australian band ever and they really do have a connection to Melbourne," said council city services committee chairwoman Kimberly Kitching on Monda.

One of the band's famous video clips, for the song "Long Way to the Top," was filmed on the back of a truck in a Melbourne street.

"I don't think there would be many who wouldn't know that film clip where they are playing on the back of flatbed truck along Swanson Street," Kitching said.

She said the council would make a decision on the name change within the next month, but it had already received broad community support.

AC/DC already has a street named after it in Madrid, Spain.”

“Tree Hugger Killed by Tree

TULSA - Blake Champlin, a Tulsa lawyer and environmental activist, died Monday at his home when a tree supporting a hammock fell and crushed him.

Champlin, 45, died instantly, said Gerald Hilsher, an attorney with Shipley & Kellogg, Champlin's former law firm.

Champlin was a member of Sierra Club and Save the Illinois River, and the director of Keep Tulsa Beautiful. He also pushed for an agreement between Oklahoma and Arkansas on phosphorus limits in northeast Oklahoma waters, Hilsher said.

Champlin was a past director of the Oklahoma Society of Environmental Professionals and a past chairman of the Environmental Law Section of the Oklahoma Bar Association.

He was a featured speaker at numerous environmental seminars throughout the region and represented many individuals in northeast Oklahoma who sued poultry companies for alleged water and air pollution, specifically around the Grand Lake area.

Champlin became a named-partner of Shipley, Jennings & Champlin and, in 2002, he joined the Tulsa law firm of Boone, Smith, Davis, Hurst & Dickman, where he headed their environmental law department.

A memorial service is scheduled for 2 p.m. Friday at Asbury United Methodist Church in Tulsa.”

“tree hugger killed by tree...

umm if treebeard did that, would it be considered suicide?”