I'm back...

“Finally got some internet service in my new place, it feels like I've been moving for months now, and I've still got tons of crap to do.
Besides being busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest, I also managed to lose a lot of phone numbers during my war with Verizon- So, since I haven't been in touch with a lot of the NE'ers, this is my public apology- I know I haven't called, and I know some kicks in the nuts are in order. Let me know when and where we can get together for drinks so I can recieve my sentence- Also, I lost my email address book, so if you would be so kind as to send me a quick note at sling120@hotmail.com, I can start collecting my addys all over again.
For the record, it might sound like Verizon won this war, but rest assured I got tons of credit on my bill and even managed to get someone fired.
The end.”

“Welcome back, Jack! I was wondering what happened to you. Glad that you're still alive (or maybe not, judging by your Halloween handle.. heh heh).”

“WELCOME back.

Glad to know the anti goretexx is still kickin.”

“The anti goretexx- I like that, Phaed.
Scare, the answer is barely. It's like I've been working in a French white flag factory lately, and moving on top of that- Well, you know all about moving.
I also started a Saturday class recently which means I'm out of the running for most weekend trips- For the next two years or so.
Oh well.”

“Hi Corpse! Glad to hear that you are back online, though Saturday classes will keep you busy in and out of class. I'm been drowning in studying but at least my grade so far is pretty good. I've been studying bones today so now I know which bones backpackers are likely to break and where.”

“Good luck with the class, Corporal. And yes, moving sucks. I'm going to move in with my brother this May, and then up to the-place-that-must-not-be-named a few months after that. That'll bring my move total to 14 moves in 11 years.”

“Welcome back Corpse! Haunted Trail, sounds interesting studying about bones, next time we hike I'll feel safer know you'll know what to do in case I break more bones.”

“Yes Rich, the professor pointed out the spot on the humerus where he said most people break that bone, and I said "Hmmm, that seems really familiar!"

The professor thought I was on crack because I was trying to find the scapula on the pelvis. But I was doing good on the rest of the bones. Except that I think that we have way too many bones. The feet and hand bones look like broken pieces of ice.”

“They do look like broken pieces of ice, but I bet they take a long time to work right again if they do get broken. My arm is totally healed now and no pains. I kept doing my arm workouts from therapy which helped.”

“Haunted, it's true we have too many bones. I had many of mine removed- It turns out that if you develop your leg and arm muscles enough, the only bones you actually need are your vertebrae and the nose bone, otherwise known as the noscillator. (Think about it- Without that bone, you'd have to breathe through your mouth all the time. Talk about gross!) With just the vertebrae and some well developed muscles, you can just sorta ooze along the trail- Plus, with all that unnecessary bone weight gone, you're now an ultralight backpacker. And a gear sled.”

“....but never-the-less....welcome back...and I agree....Verizon sucks Big Moose groin....”

“So then the Corpse would be the Amoeba Nasty or the Nasty Blob or the Boneless Nosy Corporal? Some people are ultralighters, like you say. I've heard that some women have their lower ribs removed to make their waists smaller.”

“Welcome Home Corpse. I figured you had gone off to HDJ's again, done your thing, and were wandering around Jersey with amnesia.

Don't mention broken bones to me.”

“Hey Corpse,

Interested in doing a hike this weekend somewhere between PA and NY? Or do you have that class thing to attend to?

and I heard that you had no class... yuk yuk yuk!”

“Ghoulabeetlejuice, why can't we talk about bones? Yours are all better now, am I correct? Well back to studying, ....

Oh by the way, can I practice resetting compound leg fractures on you? It probably will only hurt a little bit.”