Why The Fascination with Jessica Simpson ?

“You have probably heard about Jessica Simpson’s tangle with canned tuna. It happened during the premiere episode of MTV’s “Newlyweds,” a reality show chronicling the early days of pop semi-diva Simpson’s marriage to Nick Lachey, late of the boy band 98 Degrees. As Jessica pondered the meal she was enjoying in front of the TV, she asked her husband, “Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish?” As it turned out, she was confused by the label that read, as she recalled it, “Chicken by the Sea.”

JESSICA’S APPARENT STUPIDITY has now spawned a secondary phenomenon: the armchair analysis of whether it’s possible that she — or anyone — is as dumb as she looks.

Her father was recently quoted in the press suggesting that she isn’t dumb, she’s just “playing into” her role as a stereotypical empty-headed blonde. Clearly, this is not the case. It’s not as if tuna is the only food to trip her up. She once declined an order of Buffalo wings with the fairly grave statement that she doesn’t eat buffalo. As a friend of hers pointed out, it had apparently never occurred to her to wonder, given her understanding of the etymology, where on a buffalo you would find the wings to begin with.

By now, the point is not so much whether Jessica is dumb as it is why her particular brand of dumb is so mesmerizing. After all, she is hardly the first person on reality television not in line for a genius grant.

Nick — who seems like a surprisingly normal guy at least some of the time, even moving his own stuff in a U-Haul truck from his condo to their enormous new house — often seems utterly baffled by her. It’s hard to imagine how this can be, given that they had a lengthy courtship and it seems likely that she acted the same way before they were married. The qualities that drive him crazy now are too integrated into her personality to be either manufactured or recently acquired.
Sometimes, in fact, watching Nick choke on his frustration is as entertaining as watching Jessica herself. When they were moving Nick’s things into the house, Nick and his brother Drew carted a particularly unwieldy piece of furniture up the wide, winding stairs, sweating and struggling all the way.

Jessica, for reasons known only to herself, pitched in by complaining about the decision to move the thing upstairs in the first place. As Nick heaved it up a few more inches, he muttered to Drew that at times like this, he was glad he didn’t have a gun, because if he had one, he might shoot himself. Drew paused, chuckled, and asked, “Why would you shoot yourself?”

The article this comes from can be found at "http://www.msnbc.com/news/978317.asp"...

Fame,, at 16, can have devastating effects. Rock on...”

“i have very well-developed theories on her. i don't think she's that stupid, i think she wants to entertain the camera. it would be funny if she made a joke out of things like that at the end, but she just keeps pretending she doesn't understand. have you ever noticed, when she goes to interviews and stuff on that show, she acts professional, and not dumb at all. okay, not much, anyway.
;-)”

“And this is one of the many people our youngters look up to. We're ALL in trouble in about 25 years......”

“

She's not really all that good looking. I mean, she's above average I guess, but damn, give her 10 years and a couple of kids and I doubt she'd be distiguishable from women I see in the checkout line everyday.”

“Who?”

“HPM, you're obviously suffering from an MTV deficiency. ;-)”

“I never heard of her. I thought this was about the cartoon.”

“Does anybody else think you could open a bottle of beer on her chin?”

“Damn! The face of a Mack truck on acid and thin as a rail. Someone throw a burger down her throat, quick!”

“I forgot to add that it looks like she's got her own set of personal floatation devices.....”

“Exactly, HPM.”

“i think the flotation devices are real, though!”

“More evidence would be needed, IMHO. But if there is, please cover that face! It's before lunch time!”

“I saw her and her husband on a tv interview yesterday and it looked like the hair dresser from the planet of the apes movie set did her hair!! I really dont understand how any of these so called reality shows have lasted this long!! Now if they would put a few cameras in the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders locker room,then Id watch!!! Screamweaver”

“Chicken OF the sea.”

“Thank you all for the effort but I still stand by my original statement of, "Who?"”

“Who indeed!

You guys are watchin' too much TV.

Especially YOU, lyra :^P”

“no doubt! it's really funny, though!”

“You have probably heard about Jessica Simpson’s tangle with canned tuna. It happened during the premiere episode of MTV’s “Newlyweds,”




Frankly, no!”

“Me thinks this sort of TV is designed to attract middle-age horn dogs lookin' at the boozzies.”

“Time had a little blurb on her in its People section. Supposedly, in regards to what happens after death, she asked, "Rigor who?"”

“Wow. She's a moron... I'd do her.”

“Ya know I see very little TV anymore but when I do there is always some celebrity watcher show on like ET.

I spend the whole time with a confused look on my face saying "Who the hell is that?" until I turn the channel and end up only finding another celebrity watcher show. Then the TV gets turned off.

My daughter is cuter and smarter than all of 'em put together.”

“Ya know I see very little TV anymore but when I do there is always some celebrity watcher show on like ET.

I spend the whole time with a confused look on my face saying "Who the hell is that?" until I turn the channel and end up only finding another celebrity watcher show. Then the TV gets turned off.

My daughter is cuter and smarter than all of 'em put together.”

“sorry bout that”

“The chick is extremely hot.”

“She's got huuuuuuuuuuge....tracts o' land!”

“She is the perfect woman. Empty head, full bossum. If all women were like Jessica Simpson the world would be a better place.”

“"Me thinks this sort of TV is designed to attract middle-age horn dogs lookin' at the boozzies."

~but I bet you looked at em! you horn dog you”

“I think Homer is funny.”

“The two of them probably have more money than most of the banks in rural Arkansas and Nick was #&%!$ing about the cost of a maid.

Cheap #&%!$er.”

“a maid? what a housewife jessica will make!”

“You should have seen her trying to mop the floor.”

“Bart is funny as well.”

“I think I need to watch this -when's it on?.... where's my TV guide... LYRA!”

“i don't know, it seems to be on every other time i flip the channel to MTV!”

“Quick response though. Thank ya!”

“I hear that Jessica doesnt EVER pick anything up. They just walk over it. Who would want a wife like that?? Come on guys boobs arent everything!!”

“She's got a nice set of boobs. For that reason alone, I'd do her. Other wise, I couldn't give a s#!t.”

“LOL @ WD!!!”

“Actually I was being serious for once.”

“She's hot.

I'd let her score me.


”

“JS would be much more attractive if she were neked.”

“Holy Saint Sylia Batman!”

“err saint sylvia....


Hard to type with one hand.”

“I once saw a bumper sticker (skateboarding sticker)..."Talk to me...not my t i t s". Serious.

Btw, Jessica is hot.”

“I'm home sick today, was flipping the TV channels and MTV popped up with this show on.
All that poor girls brains have drained down to her boobs.
Holy crap she's dumb, but not as dumb as me wasteing my time watching this crap. ;)”