German beer rocks

“I made it here to Germany. I have been here about 4 days and what a time it has been. First of all when I left Kuwait there was no beer on the plane. Needless to say they’re where some upset people. It took us 4 hours to get to Cyprus. There they loaded beer on the plane. From that point on there was a party on the plane. It only took us 3 hours to drink the plane dry. I had the help of about 150 people. Then it was time to take a nap. Next thing I new I was in Germany. My friend picked me up from the airport and we went right to a little American sports bar. There the beer started flowing and what a time it was. Got back to the apartment at about 10 pm and sleep like a baby all night.
We got up early in the morning and drove to a little town called Wursburg. There I did a little shopping and got some cool beer mugs. We got home from shopping and went out for (one) beer. We went to this little pub with a live band and the next thing I know it was 9 am and we were heading home. Needless to say we didn’t do a hell of a lot that day because getting out of bed was rough on a person. So we were talking it easy and the phone rang. It was this girl that I was talking to the other night. I don’t even remember giving her my friends phone number. Well then we had to go out again. But this time with some fine German women. That makes the night much better. It is a lot easier going out with someone that knows how to speak German. So we did the town up again. But we got home much earlier 6 am this time. Tomorrow my friend has to work so I’m going to take an adventure and take the train to Frankfurt. I don’t know how I’m going to fair but I know five German words so I should be all right. Most of the people that work in the train station can speak a little English. More to come on Kodiakman’s drunk adventure in Germany. Oh ya we got train tickets to go to Amsterdam this weekend. I know that is going to be a rough one. Buddha I’m still working on finding you a hot sexy woman with braids in an October fest outfit. No luck on the hooters either but, I’m still working that one.”

“OH MY GOD!!! I am laughing my butt off! Kodiakman, you are a riot! Enjoy your time over in Germany. Find out the name of that game they play in ALL the bars where you flip and catch the coasters. Keep us posted!”

“If a woman tells you "ich liebe diche", run like hell...(i hope i spelled that right...Gemini will correct me if I am wrong!)”

“yeah, that's not what it sounds like, lol.”

“Keep that American soldier tradition alive, kodiakman.

Hell, there are none on the planet that can outdrink us when we are in our prime!

;-)

Glad you are out of the sandbox.”

“Wolf eyes what does that mean? I don't want to guess. The words that I know are
beer
toilet
thank you
whiskey
hello
That is all that I need for the night. I had my friend write his address down in german so that if I get lost I can get a cab home.”

“K-man, my German is terrible, but I think that means "I love you".

Definitely time to sprint if you hear those words...”

“Wolfeyes, you spelled it right.

Kodiakman, Enjoy - Wurzburg is a cool town. Too bad it's a little early for Kriskindlesmarkt. It's spectacular! The beer is fantastic, stick to the local brews, of which Wurzburg has several fine varieties. Too bad I can't remember the names. How long are you in Germany for? Is this leave or are you going to be stationed there?”

“I'm not in wursburg I'm in wiesbaden. I was just there for the day. I'm just here on leave. I took 20 days on my way back from Kuwait.”

“Hey, where did the submarine go?
Hei, wo ist das U-Boot gegangen?


Two bratwurst is not enough for Hans.

Zwei Bratwurst ist nicht genug für Hans.


More beer! I can still see!

Mehr Bier! Ich kann noch sehen!


My Porsche is much cooler than your Volkswagen.

Meine Porsche ist viel cooler als dein Volkswagen.


Tomorrow we're going shopping for lederhosen and stupid hats.

Morgen gehen wir einkaufen für Lederhosen und doofen Huten.


I can't believe it's not schnitzel!

Ich kann nicht glauben, dass es nicht Schnitzel ist!


Police! Police! Somone has set my lawn on fire!

Polizei! Polizei! Jemand hat meinen Rasen gebrannt!


What would you like for dinner: sausage, sausage, or sausage?

Was möchten Sie für Abendessen: Bratwurst, Currywurst, oder Liverwurst?”

“Kodiakman - hello, beer, whiskey, toilet, thank you - you should be just fine while you are there. Sounds like you got the language downpat!”

“I will use the more beer I can still see one I think.”

“Means, "I love you"”

“Fick mich, du
miserabler hurensohn
Du miserabler hurensohn
Fick mich, du
miserabler hurensohn
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen
heissen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen
heissen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen
heissen gelockten
schwanz
Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!
Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Magisches Schwein
Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Magisches Schwein
Bis es spritzt, spritzt,
spritzt, spritzt
Feuer!
Bis es spritzt, spritzt,
spritzt, spritzt
Feuer!
Aber beklecker nicht
das Sofa, Sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht
das Sofa, Sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht
das Sofa, Sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht
das Sofa, Sofa!

fz”

“sounds like a polka to me .”

“Saw it coming a mile away, Limpy

LOL



Ich bin hier
Und du bist mein Sofa”

“Was für eine schöne Schuhesammlung.
This is a wonderful shoe collection.

Mein Luftkissenfahrzueg ist mit Aale besetzt.
My hovercraft is full of eels.

Verkaufen Sie Sturmgewehr?
Do you sell assault rifles?

Es freut mich, dass du keine Zähne hast.
It's good that you have no teeth.

Ihre Brustwarze sind sichtbar.
I can see your nipples.

Hast du deine Bluse bei mir zu Hause vorgessen?
Didn't you leave that shirt at my house tomorrow?

Mach das Licht bitte aus! Es ist mir lieber, wenn ich dich nicht angucken muss.
Could you turn the lights off? I would prefer to not look at you.

Du warst doch schöner als ich besoffen war.
I liked you better when I was drunk.

Ich habe einen riesig Eisen#&%!$.
I have an immense iron #&%!$.

Ich habe unabsichtlicht eine alte Frau auf dem Autobahn übergefahren.
I accidentally ran over an old woman on the Autobahn.

Ich möchte gern dein Herr sein.
I want to be your master.

Das Auto, das ich bei Ihnen gemietet habe, ist angefangen zum brennen.
This car you rented me caught on fire.

Deine Mutter hat schöne Zehe.
Your mother has nice toes.

Dein Lächeln wird überschätzt.
Your smile is overrated.

Dein Hund versucht mit meinen Beine Sex zu haben.
Your dog is trying to have sex with my leg.

Kommt deise Kleid von meinem Abfallhaufen?
Is that dress from my trash can?

Ich habe Deutsch von snoot.com gelernt.
I learned how to speak German at snoot.com.”

“LMFAO!”

“Kodiak, my favorite German pils is Pfungstadter. If you get the chance, get a liter on tap and get ready for the best damn pils in the world :)”

“LMFAO (and I wrote that with an German accent)”

“I never had beer rocks...beer nuts, but never beer rocks.”

“I cannot get the image of the Griswald family from National Lampoons European Vacationout of my head.”

“BTW, Kodiak, you're right in my wife's neck of the woods. She's from Wiesbaden.

Don't forget to check out the local wines.”

“Kodiakman,

Here is some German that you can really use.

Do you sell Copenhagen chewing tobacco?

Verkaufen Sie Kopenhagen, das Tabak kaut?”

“funniest thread on the whole board!”

“I am not a big beer drinker, but everyone that drank "stuttgarter hofbrau" bier says it's the best beer their is.

What do I know... nothing. I don't like beer very much”

“another Kodiak Moment.”