I hate Turkeys

“Twinks is in hot water again?


Err, hot oil?”

“Man this thread is making my chest tight and my left arm is aching a bit. What's this mean?”

“Saw a little news blurp about those deep fryers and possible fires the other night. Be carefull.

I'll be treating my 94 yr old grandma this Thanksgiving to her local Hog Trough for dinner. Then its back to her place to make biscuits. My stock pile ran out weeks ago.

I can't believe she still drives.”

“When I first started deep frying fish for a fish fry outdoors I had too much oil in the pot and it spilled over when I lowered the basket of fish in. Quite a fireball around the pot. I put the lid on to put the pot out and just let the the grass burn out on it's own. A little scorched ground but no real harm done.

I allways lower my turkey into the pot and fill it with water to the level above the turkey I want. Take the turkey out, mark the water level, pour the water out, fill with oil up to the mark and I'm all set for safe cooking.”

“I'll probably pass on the turkey. My mother-in-law always roasts it too long so you have to choke it down with lots of water. No alcohol allowed in the house--sorta-can get away beer it in the basement refrig--but ya gotta stay in the basement.”

“next time down south, i have made a pledge to try the boild peanuts.

and the fried ice cream at chi-chis is good”

“boiled peanuts are good. They might take some getting used to though.”

“I'll be treating my 94 yr old grandma this Thanksgiving to her local Hog Trough for dinner. Then its back to her place to make biscuits. My stock pile ran out weeks ago.

I can't believe she still drives."
Briar Rabbit
09:28:33 AM
11/25/03

sounds nice. wow shes driving? my in law just retired last year at the age of 85. but not that she wanted to, it was because of her health.”

“I recommend that if it is your first exposure to boiled peanuts, you might not want to start with the mild variety. The cajun boiled peanuts have been know to wreak havoc on yankee intestinal systems.”

“who thinks of these things?”

“That's the way I boil peanuts. With lots of crab boil!
Spicy good!”

“Stove, you didn't happen to shout "Eureka!" when you did that, did you?”

“Nawww bit. Just seemed like common sense to me. ;)”

“No, I meant when the oil for the fish ran over the side of the pot...”

“I'm surprised that people don't deep fry crabs.

They are disgusting animals, why not?

I've seen some stories about people burning their deck or entire house when the deep frier explodes.

Run fer yer livers!!!!!!!”

“Mr, Butthead, you have mail”

“Tom,,,soft shelled fried crab po boys are a Gulf Coast staple.”

“OK, well, I don't have email, so who's Mr. Butthead?”

“Can't be me!”

“no your the good guys. Tom T. is the resident butthead of Trail Talk”

“I know who I am!”

“ok I need your help...

I want to write something funny on a huge poster I have of a Turkey.
right now I have
"Turkeys are our friends, Not food signed FTST (friends to save turkeys)"


any other suggestions?”

“Crabs, oy!

The Chesapeake is/was famous for blue crabs until they were nearly totally fished out!

Oysters too!
(them I like!)

I like crabcakes but I'll be good and dogdamned if I'm gonna sit there and starve while crackin' those beasts for a pittance of crab meat all the while cuttin' my fingers on their nasty shells and gettin' Old Bay seasoning in the cuts!”

“Some years ago,a construction site
gave us workers big fuggin turkeys. Three of us Irish types
put them in a sack on our back and
head to the subway.We are in a tunnel when we hear the rattler(train)coming.It is a 150' turkey
dash with a turkey on our back.”

“A man would starve to death if forced to to rely on crab meat.

I think you can expend more calories trying to get the meat out than is in the final product.”

“Amen chili!

And do you know what crabs and shrimp eat?”

“There's a place here that makes a fairly decent soft shelled crab po boy (if you can legally call 'em that this far north.. and east).

I like to go around the edge first and nip off the legs.”

“A good tip for juicy turkey is to cook until the white meat is done; as it rests the dark meat finishes. Or so I learned on foodtv.”

“I think treebeard cooks it with the breastes facing down.”

“Maybe he doesn't want the turkey to go "tits up".”

“oh geezzzz”

“Turkey is a Country.”

“Borrow the phrase from the signboard: a picture of a turkey painting a sign that reads: Ete moor chikin.”

“I remembered Maple, just thought it was your foot that got smashed, not a finger.

You all wanna hear something weird? (Too bad, I'm telling you anyways!)

We have to eat goat for thanksgiving. That's right, GOAT. And we have to visit the goat farm too, meet the goat siblings I guess. I have twisted in-laws.”

“In-laws got your goat, did they Sass?”

“LMAO sorry to hear that!!

never ate anything goat.”

“Apparently. They've instructed us to bring a cooler for the leftovers too. I hope it tastes like lamb but isn't so smelly.”

“Dang that sounds GOOD!!!”

“I'll bring some home for you Q.”

“LOLOL

I can see the new ads...

Turkeys unite and say "eat more goat"

to funny..”

“Sass, you're sure this is not some sort of elaborate prank?”

“COOL and THANKS!!!!”

“Sassafras, is there a ritual killing of the goat involved?

I like the part in "Jurassic Park" where the T Rex eats the goat and the leg drops on the glass roof of the car scaring the crap outta the kids.”

“Goat..the other white meat.

hmmm...I wonder if it is white meat?”

“"Sass, you're sure this is not some sort of elaborate prank?"

youve been PUNKED!”

“Oh, Maple, dear. Haven't heard from you all afternoon. You aren't in the ER with a cold, crushed hand now, are you?”

“Top Ten Reasons
Why Liberals Hate the Holidays


10 Thanksgiving is mass murder for turkeys.

9 Too many SUVs traveling to grandma's house.

8 College bowl games encourage competition.

7 Millions of Christmas trees are cut down.

6 The pilgrims thought up Thanksgiving, not the Indians.

5 Christmas lights waste electricity.

4 People are giving thanks to WHO?

3 Winter lull in global-warming hype.

2 Daycare centers are closed.

1 Christmas celebrates a birth, not an abortion.”

“Screw you. I love Thanksgiving. It's a great holiday. I have 4 days off of work. It's not a religious holiday. I am not compelled to shopping for anything but food and beer. I get to eat and drink to gluttony and watch football while enjoying the good company of family and friends. What's not to like? Christmas, I am indifferent to, being that i don't celebrate in anyway. Theory shot down!”

“I guess that's the 'liberal anger' I've heard so much about lately.

Weak, very weak.”