I Hate Monkeys

“they really bother me.”

“blasphemmer”

“I hated that show, too. Peter, Davey, Michael and what's the other guys name? They had one good song...

But then consider other shows of that era: Gilligan's Island, Get Smart...”

“ONE 'm' would have been sufficient.

But, Nooooooooooooooooo....”

“I'm fascinated with snow monkeys. They're a really neat species of monkey.”

“Mickey was the other Monkey.

Daydream Beliver is a kick ass song. I could hear Metallica playing it.”

“Lyra's gonna see this. Then you'll be in Trouble.”

“My boss sent me this email telling me why she likes monkeys ....
(sorry it's kinda long)

I like Monkeys
I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.
I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I
decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200.

I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off the couch at high
speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you but a goldfish and it dies five hours later.
Damn cheap monkeys. I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead
monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging
from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.
I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell
real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I
didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.
Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so
I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food
in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had
to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet,
two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys
in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city was
not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet
one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts.
MY friends didn't quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in
the genitals.

I like monkeys.”

“Come on come on come on come on
Come on is such a joy
Come on is such a joy
Come on take it easy
Come on take it easy
Take it easy take it easy
Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey.

The deeper yo go the higher you fly
The higher you fly the deeper you go
So come on come on
Come on is such a joy
Come on is such a joy
Come on make it easy
Come on make it easy

Take it easy take it easy
Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey.

Your inside is out and your outside is in
Your outside is in and your inside is out
So come on come on
Come on is such a joy
Come on is such a joy
Come on make it easy
Come on make it easy
Make it easy make it easy
Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey.”

“Is it the fact that they can get 50% on 100 T&F questions?

or that they wank it when ever they want?”

“I don't really know how to respond to that.

Merry Christmas?”

“"Is it the fact that they can get 50% on 100 T&F questions?
Briar Rabbit

Yep, but only because they cheat!”

“Her Adorableness is in Vermont this week, so y'all are just wasting time.”

“Stalker!”

“Artex, I hve to agree about the snow monkeys. they are so resourcful (sp).


”

“sorry, lyra”