I need ideas.

“We are supposed to list what we want for Christmas at our office Christmas party.

We swapped names, $20 limit, we are supposed to provide a list of things we would like to have.

My list:

Hiking America: Alabama Trails

Warren Zevon: The Wind

I am being pressed to list another 3 or 4 options.

Ok folks, what so I want for Christmas that is (A) $20 or less, and (B) readily found by someone who probably hasn't hiked a day in their life?”

“Any maps that you want?

You might want to include a map to the nearest local outfitter with your requests.”

“Photon MicroLight?”

“Smartwool socks....can you ever have enough???”

“Leatherman Micra?”

“Something from Wal-Mart.”

“A pair of $10 whores?”

“ohhh...I got a neat pack from Walmart that is going to be perfect for day hiking...and it will hold a hydration system....for

$3.00

woohooo”

“20 dollar gift cert to REI? They can be found on the 'net.....”

“Ohhh...that is a GREAT IDEA!!!”

“Well, I actually thought about a $20 gift certificate to Hooters,,,but seeing as how I work for the most conservative company in America, I don't think that idea or Violin's will fly.


BTW,,,$10 whores,,,,,???? I cringe at the thought.”

“I think it would come in handy in case cotton socks needs some more drawers... :)”

“I guess liquor won't fly either, eh?”

“1. Anti-gravity gear pot and stove.
2. A non Orange boggan to keep your head warm.
3. I have a list from outside.com that lists the top 10 Adventure books of all time. I can email you the link.
4. I recently got a neat little knife that is a single blade that weighs 2 oz. It's by Kershaw and is called the Ken Onion chive or scallion. I can't remember which. It's the smaller of the two.
5. Good hiking gloves.
6. Wool or polypro shirt or pants.
7. Fleece pants for camp.
8. Silnylon stuff sack to hang food in.


That's about all I can think of.”

“laqtis, you might be on to something there.

I wonder if I can get her some hiking thongs for $20?”

“Oops, it's the top 25 Adventure books of all time. My favorite didn't make the list, it's "Teewinot: A Year in the Tetons."”

“"I recently got a neat little knife that is a single blade that weighs 2 oz. It's by Kershaw and is called the Ken Onion chive or scallion." - dayhiker

Good god man, and you call yourself an ultralighter! Two oz for a knife! Way too heavy! ;)”

“Sponge Bob boxer shorts and a sixpack of Heineken!”

“SS, that's why I built the down quilt from thru-hiker.com this weekend. To make room for the knife, and beer. Actually, I had been using a 4oz leatherman-mini. What do you use?”

“LMAO!!! $10 whores, what a good idea!”

“Well, in theory perhaps, lyra, but not in practice...”

“you're right, ten $2 whores would be better. argh!”

“That's something where the price is usually related to quality on an exponential basis....”

“This is a first. Talk of whores killed the thread instead of blasing the post count into the stratosphere!”

“And just think,,,just a couple months ago, I could have kept this thread alive for a week discussing whores.”

“j/k, darlin, j/k”

“wonder if I can get her some hiking thongs for $20?"
chili36



Sounds like a great idea to me. I still need lots of new gear!”

“I love this woman.”

“Gift Certificate to any outdoor store, or in your case... hOOters!”

“backpacker mag actually had hiking thongs in an issue recently. Maybe that mag isn't so bad afterall.”

“"And just think,,,just a couple months ago, I could have kept this thread alive for a week discussing whores."
chili36

"j/k, darlin, j/k"
chili36


"sigh"

Will you ever change? OMG dont I do enough for you that you need a whore?”

“$20. cash(in small bills).”

“He's the prostitute since he's an ex-lawyer. I heard a fellow engineer say in response to all of the types of work he did "If you're gonna be a whore, be a goodun" Another saying is to be a prostitute not a slut. Don't give it away.”

“Will you ever change? OMG dont I do enough for you that you need a whore?"

cottonsocks
02:31:43 PM
12/01/03

But see darlin, I have changed....


notice the part where I said "a few months ago"?”

“chili, do you agree with the above statement? Anybody that sales information/expertise in something runs into this. I love the fact that people hire my company and pay 5 and 6 figures for technical advie, but I'm a dubma$$ when it comes to giving parents advice on something technical.”

“Thats what I thought you said.”

“That is absolutely correct dayhiker.


I noticed that in private practice, my clients perception of ability was directly proportional to fees.”

“You're correct. People don't appreciate what they don't pay for. I hate to see a friend build something, ask my opinion, ignore my opinion, and ask then why it didn't work.

Is the same philosophy that says that if an attorny represents himself then he has a fool for a client?”

“chili, I can't believe you left the non-orange boggen comment alone. I can set you up with a nice one in either Crimson or Ark red!”

“I have plenty of orange bopggens.

You mean they come in other colors?”

“My understanding is that they do, in fact, come in other colors.

My email has been acting up. Did you get that list of books?”

“Yes, thanks.


Can you imagine that, a boggen in a color other than orange.


I wonder who thought that idea up?

Must have been a Kansas grad.”

“Kansas is in a bowlgame and Bama gets their a$$ handed to them by the Rainbow Warriors, oh the humanity!”

“Who would have ever thunk it.


Secretly however, I have to admit I am not overly dissapointed that UT won't be in the Championship game against LSU.”

“I can't say that I blame you. Yall didn't look too good against KY. That Sanders sure can call plays!”

“Every night when I go to sleep, I pray I will wake up the next morning and Sanders will be gone.”

“I think you should ask for a Vicky's secret gift card or a sleeping bag for me. Both of those gifts are useless at $20 or less though and they don't really concern you. Just an idea.”

“I've posted this before, one of the best gifts was a waterbottle filled with what you like to snack on the trail. Mine was a Nalagene filled with Jolly Ranchers. This from someone who has packed with me before.

What you can put in the Nalagene is almost endless.
Bic lighters, backpack spatula, spoon or other utensils, GORP, replacements for the first aid kit.... Don't think a $2 lady would fit, though!”

“blow up girl in a nalgene bottle.

***(note to self...NEVER say that outloud again)***”

“hmm.. i'm starting to re-think you coming to PA to hike with me LOL”