Who says all rednecks live in the South?

“As my man Lyle says "redneckness has got to be a disease". It's nation wide. ;)



Give Back My Heart
(Lyle Lovett)

I'm a traveling man don't tie me down
There's just too much living going all around
A man he's got to see what he can see
I love the road and I love the air
And I don't worry hell I never care
I love my women sometimes they love me

But I was got one day I still don't know how
I didn't even like that town
This fellow said stranger why don't you just go on home
And I said man that's where I'm headed to
And you couldn't stop me if you knew what to do
And I left and I planned to go alone

But the road was long and home was far
So I stopped off at this little cowboy-looking bar
I walked on through the door and she just smiled
In a long pony tail and a pretty white dress
She said hi bull riders do it best
I said oh my God what's your name
My name's Lyle

And I said ooh give back my heart chipkicker-redneck woman
Take your boots and walk out of my life
Ooh give back my heart chipkicker-redneck woman
I can't be no cowgirl paradise

I looked at her and she looked at me
And I looked back and she looked back
And we went out together for a walk
Her eyes were bright just like the stars
But she drove a pickup said she hated cars
But loved to ride around out after dark

And I said ooh give back my heart chipkicker-redneck woman
Take your boots and walk out of my life
Ooh give back my heart chipkicker-redneck woman
I can't be no cowgirl paradise

I told her redneckness has got to be a disease
You catch it on your fingers and it just crawls right up your sleeves
Ooh give back my heart chipkicker-redneck woman
I can't be no cowgirl paradise

Well how she did it I'll never know
But it's been maybe 20 years or so
And she cooks the supper and I try to pay the rent
But I'm a traveling man don't tie me down
There's just too much living go all around
But I can't figure out quite where it went

Then I think ooh give back my heart chipkicker-redneck woman
Take your boots and walk out of my life
Ooh give back my heart chipkicker-redneck woman
I can't be no cowgirl paradise”

“Just ask twigeater.”

“Lyle Lovett rules. He was in B'ham a couple of weeks ago at a historic old theater and I couldn't go. bummer.”

“I'm a redneck.. & I love it!!!.

Born & raised in OHIO......

WoooHoooo”

“Yep, divinity is one of those 'damn' yankees. ;)”

“Watch it, Stovie! As far as we're concerned, the midwest starts on the other side of the George Washington Bridge!”

“ok...so I'm a Damn Yankee Redneck...
wooohoooo”

“...I love the South!!!”

“Treebeard - You do know the difference between a 'yankee' and a 'damn yankee' don't you? ;)”

“Go ahead, Stove. I'll bite!”

“Damn Yankee...... a Yankee who comes to the south and loves to hear all those Southern boys talk and call ya "dahlin"”

“and stays and makes it her home......


Sweet Home Alabama”

“That may not hold true for a lot of yankee men, Div!”

“Yep, divinity knows it, ha ha.
A 'yankee' comes South and visits and then goes home.
A 'damn yankee' comes South and stays. ;)

Where I live, we call everyone above I-10 'yankees'.”

“Ha! Should have remembered that from my Tampa days. A lot of good old boys from Central Florida used to talk like that. One of the used to say that anyone who isn't from Tennessee was a yankee.”

“LOl...well....admit it..men love these southern women....wonderful southern accents....cornbread ...& Big Bob Gibson's BBQ.......”

“StoveStomper...face it......y'all are STUCK with me.....”

“Hey, I went down there to go to school and wound up staying 9 years. I'm no dummy!”

“I love any woman that will smile at me, lol.”

“:)”

“I-10 and above are Yankees? Damn, if you don't have a coona$$ accent then you're a blue belly?”

“Kiss Mah Grits!”

“I don't like grits...but I am starting to acquire a taste for fried okra....”

“fried okra isn't an acquired taste. Fried okra is a little taste of heaven!”

“LOl....it is an acquired taste for Yankees....LOL..I still won't eat it boiled....ewwwwww!!!.....it is the ugliest vegetable!!!”

“I don't eat it boiled either.”

“It be gooooood in dat dere gumbo...”

“What the he!! is okra?”

“It be goooood....

”

“Hey Lumberzac, okra is a slimy green pod vegetable that is used in gumbo.

To me its like chittlins.
If ya don't have to eat it, why bother.”

“$h!t, anything south of the Massachusetts northern state line is The South to V'monters.”

“We definitely don't have that stuff up here. If I ever make it down south I’ll have to try it. It almost looks like milkweed pods.”

“Anything south of the Mohawk River is The South for me.”

“I grew up tending our garden full of that okra crap. I hated okra in all forms up to about 5 years ago. I now like the flavor but still hate to eat it boiled, too slimy!”

“Try the fried version first before you jump into the boiled okra pot.”

“You might want to avoid pickled okra too....

”

“mmmm, i LOVE fried okra! my mom tried to put okra in soup once, though...it turned into a big bowl of slime.”

“Cajun chefs have been using it as a thickener for ages. I've added it to stuff...if you're not careful you will end up with one large lump of food. Still pretty tasty though.”

“From some recent email humor - an example of Yankee rednecks:

Two hunters from Michigan--(true story) This is from a radio program, a true report of an incident in Michigan: A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500 and has $560 monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with the guns, the dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready.

Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill.

So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40- second fuse. Now these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and the new Navigator), because they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast.

They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite. Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns and the dog?

Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING. Especially things thrown by the owner.


You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming. One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with # 8 buckshot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator. ----BOOM!---- Dog and Navigator are blown to bits and sink to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not covered. He still had yet to make the first of those $560 a month payments!

And you thought your day was not going well?”

“We may have boatloads of rednecks down hyar, but I don't recall anyone ever making any claims of exclusivity.

I'll keep the grits (with butter, salt, white cheddar, pepperoni, cayenne and a tiny dollop of sour cream) and you can have ALL the okra, LOL”

“The dog-destroys-Navigator story never happened.

Scroll down the page a bit to see the Navigator version of the story.”

“Who needs truth if it's dull???

<VBG>”

“Rednecks are national. It's crackers that are exclusively a souther phenom.”

“Now your gettin' into some antics.”

“Shenanigans!
Shenanigans!
Shenanigans!”

“Shenanigan's?

Is that an Irish pub?”

“Rednecks with differnt accents... Large Woop.”

“People have herded cows by cracking whips all over.”

“Yeah that's what I thought bitpusher and if I wasn't so lazy I would have checked myself. On the other hand what do you expect from email humor - the truth ???(grin)”