I Always Said You Can Find ANYTHING At W al-Mart...

“Maybe this would be fine if Paris Hilton were on trial...



Jury's Out?”

“OH my LOrd ,Tree bread ,maybe Your'e Personage and the Personage of Your'e butty Geo Beet should trying to fin d a LIfe at walMart .”

“Shucks, the only people you can find in there are a bunch of toothless, bambi-killin', NASCAR-watchin', beer-guzzlin', Led Zeppelin-listenin' rednecks...”

“Heavy Metal Hillbillies, oh my!”

“sur wih ye had onee of themm ther in NY”

“Well, you can't find EVERYTHING at Wal-Mart. Take for instance, well, how about trying to find an illegal alien working on the night shift clean-up crew, as a random example. WAIT, scratch that. Hmmm. Maybe you CAN find everything at Wal-Mart. I apologize.”

“Shucks, the only people you can find in there are a bunch of toothless, bambi-killin', NASCAR-watchin', beer-guzzlin', Led Zeppelin-listenin' rednecks..."
Father Christmas


Can you imagine all those mullets on one jury???”

“Naked Cowboy?”

“Well I will say this I do shop there and when Ms Cmb came here she did not like to shop there but after a few times going there with me she is now like me a Wil-Mart Whore.

Wal-Mart is PIMP!


8)”

“Walmart gots whores?”

“Can you imagine all those mullets on one jury???"
Treebeard
03:11:13 PM
12/04/03

LOL @ Treebeard. 12 'Joe Dirt' lookalikes...yow!!!”

“Price reduction on aisle five!”

“Yow! is right, FG! lmfao”

“Yo Leafy!
"Naked Cowboy?"
Tom Terrific
03:12:19 PM
12/04/03


Geez I wish...”

“Maybe those jurors could be bought cheap!”

“You ever need to find the trash of the community, head to Wal Mart!!!”

“We're slashing jurors! I mean, prices!”

“maybe they can just get that silly little smiley face to be a juror”

“Naw, the smiley face is an illegal immigrant... OH WAIT!!! SINCE WHEN DID THAT MATTER!!! LET HIM RUN FOR CONGRESS!!!!”

“I would have to plead insanity after looking at that for 7 hours..”

“IS CRAPPY”

“Perhaps Lynyrd Skynyrd should be substituted for Led Zeppelin in the profile...or Toby Keith.

In other words, we of the long-haired hippie real heavy metal generation say leave our ZoSo boys out of this -- and don't forget to get the new 2 DVD LZ set for your favorite former long-haired hippie, bell-bottom wearing, hookuh-sucking, love generation member for Xmas.”

“Man bitten by snake at store

A call to Liberty 911 was placed at 7:26, reporting a man had been bitten by a snake in the store's lawn and garden center.

Liberty County Animal Control officer Linda Cordry said the snake was captured and taken with the man, whose name has not been released, to the Liberty Regional Medical Center emergency room.

"We got a plastic container and got the snake in it," she said.

The snake, a 10-inch long baby timber rattler, was eventually destroyed.

Wal-Mart store officials could not be reached for comment.

Just how the snake got into the plant the man was handling is also a mystery. Cordry speculated it might have come from the work being done on Frank Cochran Drive Extension, adjacent to the store, if its habitat there was disturbed.

It also might have been in the plant to start with and the warm weather in early January threw off its biological clock and ended its hibernation early.

"With the unseasonably warm temperatures, they wake up," Cordry said. "Usually, they stay underground until it warms up."

A snake regaining consciousness in winter does happen, she explained, but in these circumstances.

"This is not an unheard of incident," Cordry said. "Sometimes, when little old ladies move their plants inside into the heat, a snake in the plant will wake up."”

“This is about the 87th time I've seen an article about someone being bitten by a snake at Wal-Mart... hmmmm....

I believe last time the snake was hiding in a shoe and bit someone.”

“How much money will he settle for?”

“The snake, a 10-inch long baby timber rattler, was eventually destroyed.

but of course they killed it, what else whould they do with it?
find a home?
zoo?
release it?

stupid dumb mother %^$# a-Hole!!”

“maple, maybe they have some law, like when dogs attack people. It's sad tho. Poor little snakey. (I hate snakes, but still...)”

“You just couldn't buy a snake that cheap anywhere else! Low prices, Always!”

“I'm with Maple and the snake should not have been killed. Maybe an animal rehab center would have taken it until it could be released into the wild.”

“I think they should release the mother and child into the wild.”

“"We got a plastic container and got the snake in it," she said.

What they didn't say was that the plastic container -- not normally found in the plant department -- was conveniently found nearby. Fortunately, it looked as though someone had accidently misplaced it behind the forsythias. It was just big enough to hold the snake, but not too big to cause a noticable bulge in a mens overcoat. :)”

“...with air holes in the lid.”

“They get rid of more unruly shoppers that way, and what's it cost? You just pay Billy Bob to go out and catch a snake.”

“I went running shoe shopping last year at Walmarts. One of the shoe boxes had a pair of really smelly, dirty worn-out holey running shoes in it....the thief walked out with a pair of new shoes. Ya think?”

“A dose of the ridiculous...
Subject: FW: Santee/Lakeside Wal-Mart Wine

Wal-Mart announced that they will soon be offering customers a new discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap wine", said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing. She said: "But the right name is important."

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity are:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. Grape Expectations

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine:
1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

Bottoms Up!”

“I hate those redneck southern crackers too.”

“Scarey...I personaly dont like wine but if I did the thought of a wal-mart wine would disgust me.”

“I always thought TT was on the cutting edge of internet silliness, but you folks have let me down. I just asked my Techs if they have heard of the new Walmart brand of wine and they all said they got that email 6 months ago. I have been reduced to the level of an internet old lady.”

“Well, it's new to me. You gotta remember, Wal-Mart has still not made it into New York City. So, the above list of names gave me a hearty laugh!

I take it these bottles will not be sealed with corks?”

“I have got some Australian wine with a plastic cork WTF !!”

“Hyway, someone posted this joke here months ago.

WhackO, that wasn't funny.”

“MarkO, I mean WhackO likes to take a swing at the South at every opportunity. I think he has a complex or something.

manuka - Yellow Tail wine has some kind of weird cork in it.”

“Yeah, people from Maryland seem to have that problem. Yep, sounds like a case of denial.”

“Dayhiker - that would be it, someone at the office was giving out bottles of yellowtail at Christmas.”

“The "plastic" 'cork' is replacing the "cork" because cork dries out and allows stuff to get into the wine after bottled and producing the mold on the cork and tainting the wine.”

“poor marko doesn't have the sophistication of the north, nor the values of the south.”

“sacco - are you saying I'm an ass in an southern charm sorta way and you're an ass in a sophisticated sorta way and marko is just an ass?”

“What an odorous thread.”

“I think he is saying that when you twist the knife in someones back you are smiling to their face, but while when he is twisting the knife he is he looking down his nose at them.”

“ChicagoMark - do you really think the plastic cork is to improve the product ??

or is it because cork is more expensive ??

or maybe with the increase in world wine drinking population we have a cork shortage.

Of course those who switch to plastic will always tell the consumer that the reason was product improvement - spin doctors.”