Rudolph

“Are you hitting on me or just waiting to hit me?”

“Neither, just asking.”

“Lot's of goodies here: http://www.trismccall.net/pop_music_abstract_xmas.html

I'm really not trying to be Grinch McCall here. My intention isn't to ruin any of these songs for you. Well, that's not exactly true -- insofar as you've got any warm feelings about Rudolph, I'd like to be sure they curdle like month-old milk by the time you're done reading this. "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer" is usually taught as inspirational verse and a statement against prejudice and mockery: Rudolph is visibly marked and consequently discriminated against, yet he rises above the catcalls to achieve fame and success. Sounds great, right? Let's look a little closer. Rudolph's moment of redemption comes not as the cause of any consciousness-raising, but because his difference (superficial as it is) is shown to have utility to the corporate body. He is accepted by his peers not for his own merits, but because circumstances conspired to harness his idiosyncrasy and turn it into profit for his employers. What is the real lesson we take from the fable of Rudolph, boys and girls? ***Difference will be tolerated and celebrated only if it can be put to the service of the power structure.*** Otherwise, you're just a wacko, and you can forget about those reindeer games for good. Once again, Santa Claus is portrayed here as an unfeeling, self-absorbed cad -- he makes no intervention in Rudolph's persecution until he needs to save his own ass (at least the TV special got that part right). But does Rudolph get his moment to tell the boss to screw himself; that his hypocrisy won't be tolerated? No, he's the first one tethered to the sled, happy to take the whip of his former oppressor as long as he can feel both useful to the corporation and validated by his peers. If I had a kid, this would be about the last lesson I'd want to teach her.”

“Then there's : Sixteen Serious Questions Raised By
'Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer'

1.) WHY IS SANTA SUCH A COMPLETE BASTARD?

I'm going to say he has a chemical disorder, probably Bipolar. The elves sing him a very nice song and he's a total jerk about it, leaving the desperately co-dependent Mrs. Clause to patch things up. He has some sort of eating disorder that causes his weight to fluctuate wildly. He tells Dasher he should be ashamed for presenting Rudolph to the community simply because the child has some sort of nose disorder. He only changes his mind about Rudolph once he figures out a way to exploit him. Plus, this guy is absolutely ITCHING to cancel Christmas. Hey Santa. It's not your call. Christmas is the day Jesus was born. God will let you know if Christmas is cancelled. Until then, get in the damn sleigh.”

“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

What a demented scenario. A little girl spies on her mother making out with a stranger, and her reaction is that it would be a "laugh" if her father could watch, too? Hey, I'm all for deviant sexual get-downs, but there's something downright sinister about this one. Okay, fine, the stranger here isn't exactly strange; he's Santa Claus, and therefore a familiar face. Moreover, the implication (I guess) is that the listener is supposed to know that "Santa" here is Daddy dressed up in a costume, and that this is actually a wholesome scene of laughable family hijinx and winsome misunderstanding. Plot-level, though, the eavesdropping child certainly does not recognize Santa as her father -- even after watching long enough to be able to communicate some specs about the make-out session. Her glee at the scene can either be attributed to a desire to hurt her dad or to replace him with a figure of greater masculine potency (note the mention of the beard, you Freudian types). Like a fifties New Yorker cartoon, it's ugly and voyeuristic if you look at it closely, and only funny if you're skimming.”

“i was getting ready to post that one too, sacco! that one makes me retch. i heard one version the other night sung by some old dude trying to sound like a little kid, and one of the lines was, "I saw Mommy TICKLE Santa Claus"...PUKE!

this one was good...

"Rocking Around The Christmas Tree

"Now, why the hell would you rock around your Christmas tree? What would that even look like? Tripping over wires, dislodging candy canes, breaking bulbs, getting tinsel all over the carpet -- it's a bad idea, I tell you, a bad idea. Maybe not as bad, though, as the following syntax: "at the Christmas party hop/mistletoe hung where you can see/every couple tries to stop." Jeez, get me rewrite. Even the "new old fashioned way" comes off as a forced invention more cloying than clever. I love Brenda Lee as much as the next red-blooded American boy, but this smells like a contractual obligation."

but he left out my favorite, "All I Want For Christmas Is You," by Mariah Carey!!
:-(”

“hehehe

anybody see the family guy episode with rudolph?

Doctor: Well, Rudolph, we finally figured out what makes your nose red.
Rudolph the Red-nosed Raindeer: Is it pixie dust? Or leprechaun tails?
Doctor: No, it's a tumor.
Rudolph: You mean like a magical Christmas tumor?
Doctor: No, a malignant tumor... The base of which is lodged deep within your brain.
Rudolph. Oh. ... like a happy special-
Doctor: You're going to die.”

“...He is accepted by his peers not for his own merits, but because circumstances conspired to harness his idiosyncrasy and turn it into profit for his employers. What is the real lesson we take from the fable of Rudolph, boys and girls? ***Difference will be tolerated and celebrated only if it can be put to the service of the power structure
VioLiN
12:05:12 PM
12/02/05

WRONG! Unless his employers are the children that got the presents in time for Christmas morning. And since when does Santa take payment for the presents he gives to the kids???

No Bah Humbug here!”

“It’s allegorical!”

“What I wanna know is why can't Charlie Change his name to Jack? Is he just completely retarded?”

“oohhh, i just remembered what Christmas album i also like...one by Randy Travis. LMAO!! no joke, it rocks out.
last edited: 12/02/05 1:02:52 PM”

“i have gloria estefan's christmas album and i'm not ashamed to admit it.”

“you go girl!”

“When I get sufficiently soused on bourbon-flavored egg nog to allow my wife to play insipid Christmas music, the only album she can play is one of Nat King Cole singing some Christmas standards. Then, she gives me more bourbon-laced egg nog, and I pass out. Then she can play whatever tripe she wants to.
last edited: 12/02/05 1:10:37 PM”

“My favorite is the Carpenter's Christmas album”

“I don't do xmas music. Right now I'm listening to Mule Skinner by Iggy Pop.”