Do People's Lives Cross for a Reason

“... what about all those in failed marriages in the USA? And there is a ratio of about a whopping 50% there. Is there any reason (to the higher power) that those folks met.


Maybe they needed a lesson in how to deal with reeeally difficult people? How to put the needs of someone else before theirs?”

“well, all those failed marriages...those are all the people that had their change and screwed it up...somehow...”

“You learn lessons from those relationships failures also. Probably the bigger lessons. Definitely the harder lessons.”

“50/50 sounds random to me...”

“But Gemini - you never know if that was your real chance or if your real chance lies just around the next corner - that's what keeps it interesting.”

“and that ynami x 2 is what makes life so much fun and so frustrating at the same time.

It paralyzes some and invigorates others.”

“DH, like I said, I actually share your line of thinking when substituting my own marriage into what you said. It's just a two sided thing with me. My logical side tells me of the randomness of it all. And my emotional side gives me the comfort of the 'meant to be' take on this...”

“I loved that book. Reading it was enjoyable and thought provoking.
I often catch myself using Vonnegut-isms from that book. My favorite was "Foma". :-)”

“Gemini, I didn't mean "you".

I was just lookin' for a giddy-yap from yuh.......ja, the accent!”

“Perhaps there not failed marriages, but lessons learned.


or again they could be lessons failed and they will keep failing until they learn their stuff.”

“Well, my first marriage may have "failed," but I sure don't see my fantastic daughter as a symptom of failure. Can't imagine giving up the heartache of the former if it means losing the joy of the latter.”

“I have to agree with Mutt. Lives cross randomly. Sometimes the results feel pre-determined, but it's all just random.”

“hmm, now I am starting to wonder what the heII I suppose to have learned from my last marriage??”

“I mean first marriage...
sht!! I am in trouble now.”

“Meeting people is like a big game of "Plinko" from the Price is Right. You hope to get the disk into that 5,000 dollar slot, but it's fate is ultimately decided by the steel nails that are in the way.

BTW, I think Bob Barker would agree. We have met, afterall. The Plink chips were just going my way that day.

”

“Gemini=Troublemaker >:^P”

“There is a long-haired retriever mutt in the neighborhood named Bob Barker.”

“yeah, I always sit myself in the middle of it, don't even try. Oh well, life sucks!!”

“Geez Gemini, light one up......I mean lighten up!!!”

“Soul mates

Know one?
Married to one?

Amy and I are soul mates, shes gay.

Susan and I are soul mates, she's married to one of my best friends.

Luc and I are soul mates, but neither of us is gay.

Rodney and Tamara are soul mates, they are married to each other.

I think that sometimes folks meet a "soul mate" and because of the feeling of knowing that person, the feeling of intimacy, they confuse it with falling in love. Sometimes it works, most often it doesn't.

I had problems with the whole mystical explanation of soul mates until someone put it another way...

It's all in our DNA...all the information from the past is stored in the DNA. With some folks, your DNA goes back far enough to a point where you remember them.

Kinda like the dog that makes a circle before laying down, thats supposed to go back to when it was a wolf and it was flatting down the grass in the savanna to lay in.


Then again, hell, it could all be a coincidence.”

“I didn't follow that all, mtnsteve??? lol

Gemini...... you've got me confused as well. lol... so if you care to clarify, you've been married how many times? And are you married now?

Now ME..... married ONCE, 81-88. Don't wanna screw that up again...... lol”

“....and pheromones”

“Liz..havent you met someone that from the first moment, you felt you knew them. You felt perfectly comfortable around them and almost knew what they were going to say before they said it?”

“LOL sorry about this...

I am divorced once. Married very young, didn't last but 2 years. (my first marriage)

I am married again, 13 years now. ooops, or was it 14 years? I forgot..something like that. (my second, hopefully last marriage)”

“okay, thought about it...it's 14 years.”

“Is that your final answer, Gem?”

“That's right Gemini!

I could have told you that!”

“Yeah, it's most likely a combination of things. I suppose if you're having a *fingers snapping* moment when you meet someone, well, you were looking for that type person or what they would bring to your lives. And then the random encounter becomes more and seems pre-destined."



Whoops I cut off the poster on the above copy. I think it was Liz.

I've always felt this way too. Ready a kinda cheezy book onetime called the Tenth Insight or something like that. It had some good underlying ideas.

The jist was that everyone we meet has something to offer us. It's up to us to realize what that something is.

Sometimes that meeting could be as simple as catching someone's eye from across the room and exchanging one of those looks (hard to explain and this isn't a male female thing...) The book said we should key into moments like that and make a point of talking to that person because they are supposed to tell us something, even if it is something small and insignificant at the time.

Maybe it is all chance, but by following the advice above, you become more aware of your surroundings and of other people and you'd be surprised some of the friends you'll make and interesting things that will come from these chance meetings.


Mt. Steve, I think I'm following your drift........or not? Anyway, my wife is my best friend, but my soulmate is a friend I met in college that lives halfway across the country now. We can not talk for five years and then get together and we.......well ......we're soul mates, I don't know how you describe that.”

“I just got from the Dr and was suprised by the responses this received. A lot of interesting thoughts about it.

Gemini, I just felt like asking this and that is all ;)..lol

trailtrekker, yeah we discussed this a little and yes I am thinking to hard as usual. A bad habit of mine”

“I agree that we all cross each other's lives for a reason. However, if you are not ready to "get" the reason, you won't even see the person crossing your way. If you are destined to learn your lesson from that person, then the crossing will happen again.

On another note, we all draw certain people to us at different times of our lives. AND we are also drawn to certain people. Until we learn the reasons why, whether good or not so good, we don't grow. Some people just never grow in their spiritual being.

Other people are just vehicles to learning who we really are. Think about it...what was the only common denominator in all of your relationships? You.”

“BTW great topic Ewker”

“Wolfeyes,
You just said what I've been trying to describe very eloquently. I agree completely”

“A quote I got from a conference, "Opportunities are never missed, either you take them, or someone else does"”

“This is a funny (odd) question. I have a tendency to be aggravated by "bad luck" but also feel that I should suck it up, it never is as bad as what some other people have to handle. But when something good happens (and I feel that I have had way more of my share of "good luck") I always feel like I hit the lottery, that I didn't deserve the good luck and there must be a big purpose to the good luck. And most of the good luck involves meeting or linking with someone who brings friendship, insight, direction or even monetary value to my world. This question is like the "what if I hadn't taken this road today" or "what if I hadn't taken that new job" type questions. Do we all have guardian angels directing our subconcious to make decisions that then affect who we spend time with? Maybe some of us listen to our guardian angels and some of us rebel against what we hear. But regardless, I can't ever reconcile the fact that some people have terrible luck and never did anything to deserve it.”

“LyndyS, I think that the decisions that one makes today is subconsciously based on what we learned yesterday or somewhere in our past. Let me use gambling as an example:

You choose to go to the casino and you lose 100 bucks. You are mad that you lost the money and should have stayed home, instead. Now, here is where the lesson is either learned or not. You get another 100 bucks a month later, and someone asks if you want to go to the casino. What decision do you make? It depends on what you REALLY learned last time.

Did that make any sense?”

“reason ???



no - there is no reason - its just fcuking luck - either good or bad




do we learn from it - yes”

“I think the answer is most definetly!! I haven't read everyone's reply so forgive me if I repeat what others have said but I think that people come into our lives for a reason. We may not know the reason why know but we will some day. It could be the person that we pass in the store that smiles when we need a smile or it could even be the pain in the a** customer that calls and gives us a hard time. We learn from it all and in the big scheme of things it all helps us become who we are.

Just enjoy the encounter and don't worry so much about the reason!”

“I think there are times we have no clue as to what the purpose/reason is we met or talked to this person. Sometimes you won't find that out till later on. It might be a day or it might be six months but you will find out. I think there are times we are brought into their lives to help them through a rough time even though you may not know it at first.

There has been a time when I couldn't even remember how I met someone. It was like we always knew each other and that we had been friends before we met. Another lifetime? who knows another topic to be started I guess”

“I feel like everybody on this board exists for one reason and just one reason: to keep me entertained. And you all do a damn fine job of it, thanks.”

“"There has been a time when I couldn't even remember how I met someone. It was like we always knew each other and that we had been friends before we met."

Thats the soul mate thing.

My friends and I have been discussing this and topics related to it for the last 15 years....we're still working on it.”

“mtnsteve, not so sure it is the soul mate thing, at least for me it wasn't or meant to be at that particular time”

“I agree with all of the above :-)
I feel like there is all different fates out there for us.
We are all wondering the path of life trying to figure out what is best for us. Most of don't have a clue, some of use have a distinct direction and will not waiver from it. Others have an open minded approach and are willing to go out on the limb to reach the rippest fruits, but at the same time taking a chance of falling.
As far as the people we meet?
I like Tom T's saying:
"Chance favors the prepared mind."
We tend to meet the soulmates, be it a marriage or our best buddy by our decisions on who we involve ourselves with. TT for instance, we all decided we like Backpacking in one form or another. Many TTers have meet and have made great friendships and in some cases married (hopfully man and woman..lol) But we "prepared" ourselves for that chance by coming to this site and chatting. We improved our "luck"!(With the help of the webmaster Matt).
I also like the 50/50 theory, for action is a reaction. We tend to lean towards what makes us feel good, so thats the direction we go. And sometimes the good feelings turn out to bad and we then go in another direction to find the good feelings again. None of like to be hurt, so we are all looking for the person, place or thing makes us feels best. Some of us sacrifice some of our own good feels to help out others with their bad feelings. Which allows us to bond together, become friends "soulmates" and learn and expirence life together.
"all we need is love"
The Beatles...

I like what LyndyS is saying, the forks in the road of life and which direction we take and where it will lead us........this is something I think about a lot....
On top of it, how does someone else's decision on which direction they took at the fork in the road affect others....
IE....
A drunk driver crashes into another car, kills a mother and father of 3 young children. The drunk Drivers decision has now dramatically change the lives of those three children.
Or the positive aspect.....
The drunk driver makes the decision not to drive, calls a cab and those three kids lives will not be altered at that time.
But what sez, if those kids parents did die, they would not be great kids, but that only their lives would of taken a different path. Yes, they would of all grown up missing their parents dearly their entire lives. Say one of them went to live with his rich uncle and he sent him to Havard and the kid became the president of the united states, and did some really great things. the drunk driver actually help out many (For the record, I'm totally against Drunk driving),
but if his parents lived he may have only gone to a Community College due to his two siblings had already tapped mom and dad and he may of ended up being a regular blue collar worker......

OK my head hurts now... :-)

Great thread Ewker!!!”

“Snafu29, that really was a great example.”

“Yogi said, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it!"”

“I have a new motto I try to live by, it's from Van Wilder, "Don't take life
so seriously, you never get out of it alive!"”

“snafu29, I stole that from a violent Steven Segal movie.

Is there any other kind?

Our peronality makes us act the way we do and act upon or not act upon random events.

My kids are basically the same people they were the moment they were born when I looked into their eyes and pondered their personality.

I've seen it emerge over the years, but it was always there, just undeveloped.

They are acting or not upon opportunities they encounter through life.

And on and on life goes.”

“Also I live by, "Treat Thy Neghbor as you would treat thy self"
We not agree all the time or I may not like you all the time or you may not like me time, but I will always be there to help you up :-)”

“TT,
Yes good point!
What about their personalties as far as the two people they have know the longest, their parents. Their DNA is comprised of the two of you and their knowledge of life, moral, ethics, mostly comes from the both of you. The Ole "The Apple Does not fall far from the tree". Maybe you knew their personalities due to you knew their parents so well.....
Just a thought :-)

PS
TT I will always remember you due I laugh at so many of your posts, making a bad day better, or a good day great, you have effected me without even meeting each other :-)”

“Star Trek TNG used to have some good plots along these lines.

Another quote I read, "Trust God, but lock your car doors."”

“It all depends on running into each other. If we cross paths and continue on then we just crossed paths. If, on the other hand I wasn't paying attention and knocked the path crosser to the ground then it could change my life. Did I help her up and feel that loving touch or did I glare at the dude and tell him to get the h--- out of my way before I step on him.”