Do People's Lives Cross for a Reason

“I have just recently started thinking about this and was wondering if anyone thinks that is true. Have you ever wondered how you and another person met, what brought you together. What did you learn from each other or did meeting that person change your or their lives.”

“Ewker, without going into details, the answer is yes.”

“I called a radio station once. From that conversation, I ended up marrying that guy.


Maybe it was fate, does anyone still beleave in that?”

“In a word yes.”

“I believe that everyone we come in to contact is part of the greater plan. We learn something from each. Whether it's a tiny thing or a life changing revelation. In other words, yup absolutely.”

“It's all just our brains attempting to impose order on a chaotic universe.”

“I am not necessarily talking about finding the person you marry but the other people that has crossed your life. What changes have they caused in your life or yours in their life.”

“It's all random.”

“well them I'm out.


I don't like people!”

“Take a walk in any big city downtown during rush hour. Are the thousands of people around you crossing your life for a reason?”

“No, I don't believe peoples lives cross for a reason. We do, however, get reason from the crossing. That means more to me.”

“Interesting perspective, skully.

I will have to ponder on that one.”

“I randomly stumbled onto this site almost three years ago and I've met about 20 of you yahoos!”

“I like the way Skully put it. That's closest to my take on it...”

“Good point Skully, but do we get meaning from it or impose meaning on it?

Mutt once again yes. The reason is getting to work.”

“i'm not going to comment”

“Hang in there Matt.”

“I think Skull hit it pretty good. We meet hundreds and hundreds of people in our lives, some make an impact and some don't. Hopefully we choose to allow the right ones a chance to have an impact.”

“I like to thing that things happen for a reason, to try and put some order in this life - but then again everything logical points to random events.”

“Ewker- Didn't we discuss this?? LOL! You are thinking too hard again!
Yeah, Skull said it best.”

“No doubt”

“there was a time in my life when meaning seemed to be imposed upon me from the outside world, whether i wanted the meaning or not. it was pretty exciting! not to mention maddening, since most of the things that were being "said" to me, i didn't want to hear. during this time, i read something by Carl Jung saying that lots of people have at least one period in their lives where their personality develops in leaps and bounds, and meaning in life is abundant...which he called the individuation process.

i think that i unconsciously call things or people to me when i need or want them...like, i'll "coincidentally" get sick when i'm not looking forward to doing something at work. or i'll happen to meet someone whose influence develops my personality in a way that turns out, happily, for the best.

so i guess i'm saying that i think the "reason" we meet people, or that things happen to us, is to help us grow, or to further some dysfunction...whatever it is that unconsciously drives us wants things, and whether we like it or not, we usually get them. or so i think!”

“huh ;o)”

“Say you're thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly someone says plate, or shrimp, or plate of shrimp. Out of the blue. No explanation. No use looking for one either. It's all part of the cosmic unconsciousness.”

“I like skullys take, however I have had several situations where things just happened. The total situation felt like a bigger power was at work. The two biggest examples are my marriage and how I came about my current job and how it has panned out.

BTW, My wife and I both vividly remember the exact circumstance when we first met.....in the fourth grade.

Based on the above I think both scenarios happen and intertwine. Skullys probably happens more but the other can happen as well. To add confusion to the initial posed question about how things happen is free will. Maybe free will is what makes both solutions possible. My wife and I crossed paths numerous times growing up. Free will could have taken us apart and brought us together. Thanks God for the later.”

“It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes.”

“yay!! exactly, Violin! i just love it when things like that happen.”

“I believe a lot of "coincidences" are really "God-incidences". I've had many things happen where the right person came into my life or said the right thing when I needed it.”

“Spontaneous combustion”

“Good term Phil. I'll have to remember that one.”

“Dayhiker, it's natural to feel that way with your partner. And I am glad to say that I feel lucky that Mapes and I stumbled upon each other too. To say there is a reason is a nice thought and self fulfilling to me. However, the logical part of my brain puts this in the bigger picture. That may be true of me and you. But, what about all those in failed marriages in the USA? And there is a ratio of about a whopping 50% there. Is there any reason (to the higher power) that those folks met. I don't know, but thinking like that sometimes leads me back to the randomness of these meetings. Dang, I hope that made sense...”

“okay Ewker...spit it out, what's on your mind?? what are you trying to tell us??”

“He is saying, "I know you people are bored at work. Some of you got gear recently. But, for those that didn't, you need something on a philosophical level to think about. Here you go. Happy holidays!"”

“hmmm, not sure if that's it....maybe he's in Love already. Ah, I said it, I said the L word.”

“Cutting right to the chase, Gem?”

“Skullcap, come back, please???! Tell us how your meeting and subsequent marriage to G00SE fits what you feel. I don't know that newbies here know that you guys met through Trail Talk, right?”

“I, too, like Skully's take. When I got home from work last night, my wife told me I had just missed a call from a close friend passing on the news that one of our mutual pals had died. So I've been thinking a lot in the last 15 or so hours (didn't sleep much) about him, what we had shared and what he had left me from the friendship. He had discovered sailing after college, and he planted the seed in me that has led to my own beginning involvement. Can't imagine I'll ever think about sailing now without recalling him and his enthusiasm for it.”

“messing with Ewker a little bit. :)


Honestly though, I do think things happen for a reason, at the end it's still up to you to make the best of ouf it.”

“In "Cat's Cradle" Kurt Vonnegut introduced the concept of the 'karass'. These are groups of people you seem to keep coming into contact with and have a great impact on your life. Recognizing them may be difficult. They may be part of your 'grandfaloon', which is a group you belong to like others from your own state, or they may not be.

I think there is something to the "lattice of coincidence", but it may be nothing more than a paranoid delusion.”

“I remember that, V. Great book, BTW...”

“I walk a lot and it seems that I have a knack for being on a collision course with cars backing out of driveways.
If I get eye contact I will assert my right of way and even pound a fist on the car it they are looking the other way.

About six years ago while walking with my two youngest boys we encountered that sort of situation.

The little guy was 6-7 and scooting along like a kid that age.

If I had not been within grabbing range of him he would have been flattened by our neighbor who was looking the other way at a UPS truck and did not see us as she raced backward out of her drive.

The reason I was able to save his life was that I deliberately stayed on his ass.

Chance favors the prepared mind.”

“And that includes being prepared to learn from all those you encounter, be they good, bad or simply different.”

“Yeah, it's most likely a combination of things. I suppose if you're having a *fingers snapping* moment when you meet someone, well, you were looking for that type person or what they would bring to your lives. And then the random encounter becomes more and seems pre-destined.”

“Which one of you girls is bacpac?

Its about time for her to chime in.”

“LOL”

“It's for that reason, Tree, that I was hesitant to post my thoughts. Some might interpret my post as a "look how fortunate I am" kind of thing. I'm just saying that we both felt an hand at work that is bigger than us. We felt that while we were both in hs and only a few months after we started dating. We made it through hs and college and got married and are on 10 years now. We did break up for a while in college and it was the best thing that could have happened to us. There's non of that wondering what if.

This is also why I added the Free Will element. You can feel a push and ignore it and you can feel a push, act on it, and then backout, or there may not be a push. Not everyone gets the push. I don't know, I'm just relating my first hand feelings.

I do like disucssing what if though. Are we next going to discuss the fact that the structure of the solar system and universe is similar to chemistry. What if our solar system is an atom with 9 electrons in some big dudes finger nail.....Now I'm just being mean. Sorry.”

“Skullcap?

AmyG?

lllllllllllizzzzzzzzz?”

“Hey!! Not me! Can't you see my accent???”

“lizs...but it's always possible that the reason meeting a specific person seems pre-destined is that we're destined to become ourselves. if you know what i mean! like, we don't just want to meet someone out of the blue...we want what will develop us to the fullest "us" we can be.”