President Bush to Honor Scott Ritter

“President Bush to Honor Scott Ritter

WASHINGTON (AP) -- As his administration finds itself empty-handed in the search for these weapons of mass destruction, President Bush announced today that he will bestow a presidential medal of honor to former United Nations weapons inspector Scott Ritter at a ceremony in the White House Rose Garden starting at 3:00 p.m.

“This man is a true patriot because he spoke his mind in the face of an intense smear campaign by my allies in the GOP-controlled press”, Bush said. “While my trusted advisors were busy lying to me so that they could wage an illegal and immoral war to gain control of Iraq’s oil resources as part of their campaign for world domination, Mr. Ritter told the truth. Osama is on the loose and we’re busy chasing two bit thugs around the Sunni Triangle. I only wish I had realized earlier how truly evil dad’s friends were and had instead appointed people like Mr. Ritter. I mean… what the heck was I thinking?”

Asked for comment on CBS's “The Early Show”, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said, “That's a fair question and one that I ask almost daily.”

Secretary of State Colin Powell told students at City College in New York that “for the sake of civilization, for our security, we must have regime change in the United States.””