Become a stale regular...LEAVING TT!!!

“I think that every generation thinks they are doing the baby thing right, and all other generations before them did it wrong. The children of this generation will mostly likely take exception with the way their parents did things. That's just how it goes and how it will always go with future generations.

Having said that, every parent must decide how best to raise their children and what is best for their family.”

“dayhiker, don't feed the troll”

“...and back to rosey's original post

i totally understand what you mean...my wife used to post to a fertility website like TT...picture it, half the posters were hormonal pregnant women and the other half were women who are pissed off cause they've been trying to have a baby for X number of months/years...like TT there were tons of threads that had nothing to do with fertility issues...she'd come home in a horrible mode and then she realized it was because she got into an online argument that went awry...after that she stuck to relevant threads”

“I don't think there was any timeframe, dayhiker. I think it's just the general difference of beliefs between people who "CIO" and people who believe in Attachment Parenting that we're discussing.

Have you read any parenting books? I read them all the time, and I've learned a lot from them.”

“well said CD...my inlaws think it's hilarious that our kids go to the doctor so much...they said when my wife was a kid she only went when she was sick or needed shots
last edited: 6/16/08 6:26:10 AM”

“who's the troll?

Username: lyra
Email: lyra2u@yahoo.com
Homepage: http://
State of residence: Pennsylvania
Member since: 7/16/01

Username: Bert
Homepage: http://www.jokesandhumor.com/jokes/pictures/evilbert.jpg
State of residence:
Member since: 6/12/08 ”

“Rosey, you got OWNED harder than anyone else in recent TT history - LOL”

“what's that saying?

it take's a village of idiot's to raise a child?


well if that is the case, we are in like gold.”

“Yes, I've read parenting books and had great results with all 3 kids. I agree with CD, different strokes for different folks. It's fairly grey and not black and white.

We basically put ours on a schedule. Babywise is the book we followed. It does involve some amount of letting them cry it out. This is why I took exception to your phrasing. The amount of time involved does matter, imo.

As far as the orphanage thing goes, I have friends that adopted 2 children from Russia. One child came from the type of orphanage you mention. To equate 5 minutes of crying with true neglect is not even the same ballpark. After 3 years stateside she is slowly adjusting, but it's a process. Had she not been adopted when she was, she'd surely not be alive today.”

“Random baby raising thoughts:

Remember in "Raising Arizona" when the two escapees went back into the trailer to get the Dr. Spock book that they referred to as "the instructions"?

My sister and brother in-law raised their first child according to what "the book says" and then tossed the book before their next kid came along.

Ever read this funny one about having kids? When your first baby drops its pacifier on the floor, you drop it in boiling water to clean it before giving it back. When baby number two drops its pacifier on the floor, you run it under the faucet before giving it back. When your third child drops its pacifier, you wipe it off on your pants and give it back.”

“umm I made funny”

“LOL.....too true Nonconformist.....
...some babies cry more than others...some babies have more digestive problems than others....some babies like to be held more than other babies...it's a fine line between spoiling & loving.....”

“You notice that lyra is quick to judge and present the "proper" child-caring methods, and harps repeatedly on how informed she is (reading pop child-rearing books makes not an expert, btw). Disgusting. She's a perfect example of what I've noticed is a holier-than-thou personna some women fall into when they get pregnant.

She's the kind that after she gets pregnant, she feels she's the center of the universe and the only woman who is pregnant. She feels very special and self-entitled, and thinks everyone should fawn over her. She would be the one in the pregnancy/birth classes who thinks and acts like she is the only one in the class. She feels she should correct other pregnant women on their diet, exercise, preparations, etc. She's the one who devours every pop-parenting-advice book and feels like one of the enlightened few who cared enough to "learn" so much. (And of course she thinks so highly of herself that she believes she's doing other parents a favor by correcting their methods, like in this thread). She is generally very self-absorbed with her new "mommy" role, and she's the one who when around other new mothers talks almost exclusively about her baby.”

“...some babies cost more than other, but some babies make more than others...especially the ones with blond hair and blue eyes”

“LOL...oh Mutt.....shut the heck up......my mom was a drunk...wish I'd had a mom like Lyra!!!...I'll bet she is doing a GREAT job!!!”

“Young people are so funny.

I remember how Dr. Spock was all the rage for at least a decade ... now his ideas are considered pretty ridiculous.

Mutt nailed it - (reading pop child-rearing books makes not an expert, btw)”

“I find it funny how some adults cry more then babies.


and what do a bunch of MEN know what it is like to be preggers?

lay off the new mommy”

“LOL conformist, children do have a way of breaking thier parents after a while.... After raising five of them I have learned to enjoy thier suffering :D

A baby crying isnt an emergency nor should it be ignored...Crying does in fact strengthen their lungs. Answer the call as soon as it is convienient.”

“there is a woman who insists she has learned baby language....”

“http://www.dunstanbaby.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunstan_Baby_Language
last edited: 6/16/08 7:03:49 AM”

“If a babies cry was as soft as a whisper, this conversation wouldn't be taking place.

Some people just freak out and get an adrenaline rush when they hear loud noises, or see shiney objects.”

“Ever read this funny one about having kids? When your first baby drops its pacifier on the floor, you drop it in boiling water to clean it before giving it back. When baby number two drops its pacifier on the floor, you run it under the faucet before giving it back. When your third child drops its pacifier, you wipe it off on your pants and give it back.”
Nonconformist
8:46:12 AM
6/16/08


That is absolutely true with us.


Agreed on the books, we read bunches before the first one came. We sort of figured out what worked for us and didn't crack a book with the other 2. I think my wife would consult, "What to Expect When You're Expecting," from time to time, but that's about it.”

“lyra, i'm sure you're doing a great job with your child. a lot of people have a knee jerk reaction to attachment parenting...i personally don't agree with it but i certainly do not have any ill feelings to those who do it...it comes from a pure and loving place with nothing but good intentions”

“the "what to expect" is a good series and it's written with that "do your own thing" attitude”

“I'm probably wading in where I shouldn't - but the discussing of babies crying is kind of interesting. IMO: there are definitely times to let a baby cry a bit. Babies learn to soothe themselves and it's an important ability that needs to be developed.

The most successful established method for dealing with sleep disorders in little ones or getting kids to sleep through the night involves letting a baby or toddler cry for measured amounts of time before picking them up again.

I tend to think if you pick a kid up immediately every time they cry, crying to be picked up becomes their dominant way of coping with the world.”

“Children grow up in spite of their parents.”

“Some people just freak out and get an adrenaline rush when they hear loud noises, or see shiney objects.”
Bert
10:03:34 AM
6/16/08


There's something shiney? Where?”

“Would you all just STFU!?!? Can't you see Rosey is trying to leave the site, Mutt is desperately trying to insult someone enough to elicit a response but no one gives a shìt, Bert is trying to come off as Sarge, Jr but in reality is some lameass regular with a new troll name. So STFU and start replying to the OP, the casutic wit or the "new" douchebag. THIS AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND!!!”

“Anybody who has watched Super Nanny or Nanny 911 knows what pedxing is saying is true. Those kids are fixed within the week by making them go to bed, and taking away their juice bottles.”

“having known a family that was on the nanny show, do not believe all that you see.”

“I personally like Mark Twain's child raising advice. When the baby is born you put it in a barrel and feed it through the bung hole. When it gets to be a teenager, drive home the bung.”

“Don't get me wrong rev, I'm sure that's sound advice, but I believe you're thinking of the wrong hole.”

“maple - I don't see where any guy said anything about knowing what it's like to be preggers.

lyra - I didn't intend this to turn into a flame lyra discussion. I merely took exception to your tone of explaining the single best way to deal with newborns.”

“LOL! You guys are lunatics. :-D

Parenting methods sure are emotional topics of discussion, huh? I think most people just want to do the best job they know how to. I personally want to raise the (physically, mentally, and emotionally) healthiest kid I can, so that's why I read so many parenting books...I take a little bit from each of them, and learn a whole lot I never knew or never fully realized before. Then you just see what feels right and what works for you and your baby.

I've heard of Babywise...I've actually heard terrible things about it! :-D I've never read it myself, though...however, I admit that there are probably a couple things in the world that I don't know, and that maybe there's something I could learn from it.

Do you think there are any parenting ideas that you haven't heard of yet, dayhiker, or that you haven't experimented with yet? Would you be willing to try one?

How about this...I'll read Babywise. And I'll send you a book from my own personal library, and even pay shipping. We can read each other's books, and then we might know more about different ways of being with our children.”

“How did lyra become a baby expert? She is still a baby herself.”

“My youngest is 22 months. The factory is closed, so I don't see where I am to benefit from reading newborn books. I read Babywise 9 years ago. Lots of people are against it. We had good results.

There are lots of parenting ideas I don't know about. I surely admit that. I'm not telling someone that has different ideas that they're a child abuser though.

I'd be happy to read an age appropriate book though. I just finished "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters," and enjoyed it. Next up is the version by the same author for boys.”

“For some antidote to all this, check out "The Nurture Assumption." Basically, there is a lot of research that suggests that peers and genes have a much greater impact on the average kid than parenting does. Sure extremes in parenting may have an impact - but for your average "good enough parents" genes and peers are way more important.

http://www.amazon.com/Nurture-Assumption-Children-Turn-They/dp/0684857073”

“Those kids are fixed within the week by making them go to bed, and taking away their juice bottles.”
Bert
10:20:29 AM

anything can happen through the "magic of tv"”

“http://books.google.com/books?as_auth=Vicki+Iovine&sa=X&oi=print&ct=title&cad=author-navigational&hl=en

if you want some good laughs and some decent information. Vicki Iovine has a great series of books. I have read a couple and rolled with laughter.”

“No. TV is real. Just like the internet is real.”

“I didn't directly call anyone a child abuser. I said I think that leaving babies to cry if they are anything other than hungry, sick, or wet is child abuse. I believe I'm justified in thinking that that's emotionally and even physically neglectful, and I'm not apologizing for it.

If anyone has a strong emotional reaction to that, I think there must be some guilty feelings. No one could make me feel guilty about my parenting beliefs, because I think they're 100% sound. No one can offend you without your permission.

I think you probably wouldn't take my advice on what book to read, because you've said a couple of negative things about me personally (instead of about my parenting methods). If you do, though, I'd suggest Helping Young Children Flourish by Aletha J. Solter. I haven't read that book, but I've read her two others. This is her website:

www.awareparenting.org”

“the internet is real, some of the posters (or posers) are not”

“1. Where have I said something negative about your personally? If I did, it was not my intent and I apologize.
2. Why wouldn't I take your advice on what book to read? I merely pointed out that there was not much point in my reading a newborn book which is probably the type you're reading now.
3. If that's what you said about child abuse, then I misunderstood. I qualified my first comments that I didn't know the history. The early part of the conversation had the tone that if you left a child to cry then it was abuse. I probed for what was meant by that and got vague answers.
4. I'll check out the book and link. Thanks.”

“Lyra, I let my children cry it out a bit when they were babies. I am not talking for hours on end, but yeah, for 5 or 10 minutes until they fell asleep. I knew they were safe, fed, dry and not sick. If I read your post correctly, you are saying that I abused them by doing so. I gotta say, I take exception to that, as obviously many people here do.”

“Is that a picture of Bert making baby Jesus cry?”

“CD, you should NEVER put in writing on the internet that you let your baby cry for 5 or 10 minutes. It could be used against you in a court of Law-ra.”

“we teach out children to be afraid of strangers, then we urge them to sit on the laps of scary men dressed funny and take pictures of them screaming and begging to be taken away...hmmm...abusive???”

“I did the same with all three CD. I don't feel guilty about it either.”

“I'll post something on topic: Rosey needed a break. His goal here of late (like the last two years) was posting nothing more than crap to pi$$ people off. Last time I read about it here on TT, we hate that sort of thing. He even got banned, lived at another site for a while where everything was sweet and peaceful and Sarge couldn't be mean, then came back here when Sarge was gone and posted the same crap.

Hopefully he enjoys his time away, excercises his demons, and has lots of success becoming a dad. There's lots of good parenting advice here when he decides to come back, lol.”