Seinfold Quotes

“I saw a Seinfeld episode last night that I'd never seen before. I didn't realize there were any I hadn't seen. Jerry was dating a lady named Lois. Her boss was a HS friend that he'd beaten, by cheating, in a footrace. They did the race again, Jerry got another early start and won. This same episode had Elain dating Buddha Bear, uh, I mean a communist. George applied to a singles page from "The Daily Worker" mag because "appearance doesn't matter for the right comrade." One of his co-workers heard it, told Steiny that George was a pinko-commie and was summoned to his office. Instead of getting fired he now had to recruit the Cuban market since he'd, be among friends. Pretty good episode.”

“Yeah, they don't show that one too often. I can't say that I've ever seen an episode that wasn't good though.

Have you gotten to see any of Curb Your Enthusiasm yet? It's even funnier.”

“Not familar with that one.

We did watch the new Debbie Does America that comes on TBS after Sex in the City. We'd been making fun of the ads for months but wound up laughing at it. It's sort of like a 30 minute female Rupert Gee.”

“I don't see how you guys walk around with those things.”

“Pulp can move, Baby!!!”

“Curb Your Enthusiasm is basiclly a Sienfield version of George Castanza. Larry David who co created Siendfield and is who George is based on is the main character. And because it’s HBO they can swear a lot too. These are some funny scenes…

Man in Airport #1: I don't have your ticket.
Larry: Yeah, right, yeah.
Man in Airport #1: I have my *own* ticket.
Larry: Yeah, oh, of course you do.
Man in Airport #1: It's a bereavement fare. My mother's dead.
Larry: Yeah, right, okay, yeah. I'd like to take a look at it, okay? Yeah. It's your ticket... right?
Man in Airport #1: You wanna see my ticket?
Larry: Yeah, I do! Yeah.
Man in Airport #1: Okay, you wanna see?
Larry: Yeah, I do, yeah.
Man in Airport #1: Okay, you wanna see? Let's take a look, alright? Shall we?
Larry: Let's take a look! Yeah! Yeah!
Man in Airport #1: What's the name written right here? Is it your name? No, it's mine: Chris Darga. See, if this were *yours*, it would say: Fukcing Douchebag. Ass hole.
Larry: Sorry... about your mother.

[Larry accidentally eats decorative manger scene cookies]
Becky: You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary.
Larry: I thought they were animal cookies.
Cheryl's Dad: Animal Cookies? What, are you kidding me?
Becky: Jesus Christ is not an animal.
Larry: I thought he was a monkey.
Cheryl's Dad: A monkey? Oh, please.
Cheryl's Mom: Larry, have you no shame?
Becky: The Son of God is not a monkey, Larry.

[In the women's room, which Larry had to use, he puts his water bottle in his pants instead of the trash to avoid being recognized]
Producer's daughter: [enters] Hi mister. Thanks for fixing my doll.
[hugs him]
Larry: Aww, don't worry about it sweetheart.
Producer's daughter: [looks at him, scared, and runs out] Mommy, mommy. The old man's in the bathroom, and he's got something hard in his pants.”

“not that there is anything wrong with that.”

“it was a scraaaaatch, it wasn't a pick, it was a scratch!!
last edited: 12/16/05 6:43:29 AM”

“"I've lost my core temperature!" - Kramer”

“"These pretzels are making me thirsty"”

“Mulva?”

“I'm out!”

“Jr Mint?”

“i had an impending intestinal requirement”

“"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."”

“Elaine: "It shrinks?"

Jerry: "Like a frightened turtle!"”

“Shrinkage !
Shrinkage !

The water was cold !!”

“"He took it...out."”

“But i've got hand

...And you're gonna need it”

“Vandaly industries...Vandaly industries!”

“He's a close talker.”

“No soup for you!!”

“You're a raging anti-dentite!”

“She had "man hands"”

“Has anyone bought one of those Seinfeld CD's?

Is there a lot of extra stuff on them?

What was the very first show about?”

“What was the very first show about?

It was about 'nothing'.”

“Simon, Bennett, Robins, Oppenheimer, Taft
Simon, Bennett, Robins, Oppenheimer, Taft”