Simpson’s Quotes

“Well I had to do it. We have a Seinfeld Quotes thread so I thought why not one dedicated to the Simpson’s.

C'mon, Moe. It's been St. Patrick's day for hours now and I'm not drunk yet!
--Homer

Trying is the first step towards failure
--Homer

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
--Homer

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.
--Homer

Doughnuts is there anything they can’t do?
--Homer”

“Lisa: You mean if I learn to play the blues, I will feel better?

Sax Player: No, the blues isn't for making you feel better. It's for making other people feel worse!”

“Silly customer!! You can not kill a Twinkie!!
- Apu

Please do not offer my god a peanut.
- Apu”

“whoops, should be "hurt a Twinkie"”

“Me fail English? That's unpossible.
- Ralph”

“D'oh!
-Homer”

“Just found a bunch of Homerisms.

enjoy
”

“You mean tuna is fish?

Jessica”

“mmmmmmmmmmmmm beer”

“Treebeard's sax player was "Bleeding Gums Murphy"


Mr. Burns: "This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you!"”

“Slurp slurp

Maggie”

“Good things don't end with 'eum'. They end with 'mania' ... or 'tarium'.”

“"d'oh!"
"a deer!"
"a female deer!"”

“"i love you, boy"
"ha ha! you love a boy!"”

“"Food goes here."
"Mmmmmmmm, floor pie."”

“-"he didn't say science he said uhhh... pie pants!"
-"mmmmm pie pants"

on a sort of related note, i have a friend who once wrote an essay for a standartized test titled "How to fail" and the first sentance was "trying is the first step to faliure"”

“"Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!" - Ralph Wiggum”

“"I bent my wookie!" - Ralph Wiggum”

“"You choo-choo-choose me". -Ralph Wiggums”

“Being unselfish is giving me a natural high, like hiking or paint thinner.

Homer Simpson”

“"i understand, i just dont care"
homer

"worst episode ever"
comic shop guy”

“DOH!”

“dig deep for that one, didja?”

“phuck you poops”

“Homer: No beer and no TV make Homer something something.
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do. Wahhh!”

“"Oh crap! It just keeps going!"

Homer Simpson
on "The Murderhorn"”

“Hi everybody!
- Doctor Nick”

“Marge: "We should do something for the community"

Homer: "Like put up a big sign outside of town that says No Fat Chicks."

Marge: "No"”

“All my food is in bar form.
-Homer on the Murderhorn

I often think about this one on hikes.”

“I want you to walk into that school and tell them don’t eat me.
- Marge”

“Ralph: I eated the purple berries.

Bart: How are they Ralph... Good?

Ralph: They taste like burning.”

“im going to spend all my time looking for the "real killers"

wait, wrong simpson. sorry.”

“We're getting take out and doing it twice!

-Homer”

“Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins

Homer Simpson, Smiling politely”

“Bart: Uh, it's kinda hard for us to leave the house with you standing in the door like that, Mom.
Homer: Well, push her down, son.

Homer: Bart, there's the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Powers' way.
Bart: Isn't that last one the wrong way, Dad?
Homer: Yes, only faster.”

“You won't feel a thing, 'til I jamb this down your throat.
- Dr. Nick”

“The internet? Is that thing still around.

- Homer”

“Homer: Marge, not in front of the sandwich.”

“So the internet is on computers now.
- Homer”

“Ralph: I sleep in a drawer.”

“Homer: Sometimes I think we're the worst family in town.
Marge: Maybe we should move to a larger community.”

“Lionel Hutz: I move for a bad court thingy.
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Lionel Hutz: That's why you're the judge and I'm the... law... talking... guy.”