What a Weekend

“HPM and I led a group of our Scouts for a great two night trip to Cumberland Island this weekend. Unfortunately the trip ended in tragedy. We returned from the trip to find out one of our other Scouts had been killed in a hunting incident. A more thorough trip report will be posted in a few days.”

“Glad the weekend was great and my god, a tragedy. sorry.....”

“How sad. That's terrible.”

“So sorry, how horrible”

“So sorry, how horrible”

“Sad.

My condolences.”

“Alex

Troop memorial”

“Beyond that, I'm not sure what to say.

He was one of my boys for four years.”

“Wow. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry such a young life was lost so violently and that your memories of a wonderful trip will be forever mixed with such sorrow. You both are in my thoughts.”

“HPM- wow... that's probably the last thing you expected to find out. shocker i'm assuming. sorry to hear about such a tragedy.. my condolences.”

“Thanks.

My hiking buddy Madman and I both have this latent "unreasonable" fear that one day we will have a ranger seek us out in the backcountry to deliver horrible news to us about family or friends.

Well it happened to me this weekend.”

“was the boy with you on the trip??”

“No, hunting is not allowed in the BSA. And we never bring firearms on trips. He was hunting with his dad and older brother.

He wasn't wearing blaze orange and was poking around in some low spots at the edge of a field.

His dad and brother saw a shape moveing at about 230 yards and his dad thought he was a hog because he was hunched over. Dad hands the rifle to older brother and invites him to shot. Older brother says I can't see it well enough to tell so I'm not shooting. Dad says I can tell it's a hog and took a shot.

Alex was hit in the head with .308 and died instantly. Someone else came up and told them Alex was in that area. They ran over and Alex's older brother found the body first.

I just got home for thier house. Dad is in his own private hell right now.”

“oh my god.... what a burden to deal with...”

“I cannot imagine a worse thing to happen to a father. Parents are not supposed to bury their children but this situation is close to unbearable.”

“Why wasn't the boy wearing blaze orange?”

“My condolences....I can't even imagine the guilt and grief that father must be going through.”

“Sure sorry to hear about this tragedy.”

“It reminds me of another sad, sad incident. A friend of mine and her then hubby had a group of her co-workers out to their nice little rental house in the country. They were so proud of the basketball hoop in the backyard, homemade, maybe 4 feet tall?

About one week later, there was a horrible message to the mom as us newspaper people were at the county fair. Her son, around 4 I think, was being airlifted to a regional hospital. He had basically hanged himself from a spot on the rim where the net was loose.

You never know when to say "no" to a request. The son had asked the dad, who was in the house, to come outside and help him with the hoop. The dad thought it was just another typical silly request and he was doing something, so did not go out.... till later, to find the chair his son was using to reach the rim had been tipped over.

I don't know that the father ever forgave himself. This happened maybe 7 years ago. The couple just split up in the past year or so. And the dad has moved away with the older son, to really push him in athletics in a much bigger school. Whether it's just college scholarships, or something more I don't know. They also have a daughter, who's the oldest.

My heart goes out to everyone that goes through this. It's unimaginable and then the family goes on. Kay kept her sense of humor.. even one time laughing with a friend that she should go on a "weirdest children's deaths" should that topic ever come to some tabloid TV show. Funny how people cope.... but she did keep her good heart and smile and the sadness and probably bitterness inside for the most part.

I should get in contact with her. Been a few years now since I've seen her. And she may well be zapping by my place to watch her oldest son play sports in Rochester....

My deepest sympathy goes out to all touched by such a faith-jarring experience.”

“wow, liz, what an awful story...”

“HPM,

Ah, sad. What a heavy heart that brings. I think about my own son.

Since you're going to be living with this weight, you should take relief and comfort in the fact you've had some meaning in this young fellow's life. I'd imagine your character and leadership with your troop will be looked upon by others about what happened.

Hang in there.”

“That's very sad news.”

“This is really sad.... This is also another reason why we are hesitant to hike during hunting season. People get too anxious....”

“as a fellow scout leader, I cant imagine what you all must be going through. I am soo sorry to hear you lost a scout in such a bad way. our thoughts are with the family and yours.
Peace”

“This incident had nothing to do with hiking. The boy went with his father out to their private hunting camp, didn't wear blaze orange, didn't stay out of the view area, didn't let anyone know where he was going. He was wearing a black stocking hat at the time.”

“I can't imagine the weight you must have felt in your heart when learning of Alex's death. You were a significant part of the shaping of this child's life and this must be extremely difficult. I can't even imagine what I would feel if this were one of my boys. My deepest sympathies to you, the family and those connected with him.”

“what terrible news, such a tragedy for all involved.”

“Your last post implies some fault with the victim and I cannot agree.

The father deserves his private hell.

The other son when invited to shoot correctly said "no" because he could not positivly identify the target.

I have been a hunter safety instructor for over 10 years and the 3 primary ruls are

1. Treat all guns as loaded
2. Always point the muzzle in a safe direction.
3. Be sure of your target and what lies beyond the target.

The father broke one of the primary rules, even when his other son with him knew better and said so.

I would bring criminal charges against the father, not for jail time, but to ensure that he never has access to a gun again in his life.

I feel absolutely miserable for the surviving brother who knew better but was unable to stop his father.”

“So far as I am concerned, they both broke the rules.”

“Horrible news. My heart goes out to his family and friends.”

“Terrible tragedy.

IMHO, the holder of the weapon has the final call in any shot. Firing downrange where target is unsure violated rule one.”

“I wasn't even going to go here with this, but one question plagued me since reading it. I am no hunter. No commentaries on hunters or hunting, just my personal choice. But, if I were, and I was out with my two sons, I think common sense would tell me that if I was unaware of one of the boy's whereabouts, I wouldn't be concerned with shooting anything, whethere there was a boar in plain site of not. I think I would want to know where my son was. Just an observation...”

“TB, every firearms instructor I ever had opportunity to meet will state "never fire at a target you cannot positively identify".

As a side note, I cannot imagine going hunting without wearing orange at all times.


Now having said that, I express my deepest sympathy to the family. I am sure the father is indeed going through his own living hell and throwing rocks and pointing out mistakes sure won't make his son come back, nor will it ease the pain.”

“That's why I really didn't want to go there, Chili. Maybe I should have kept that to myself. I apologize if that was inappropriate...”

“The father will not be charged.”

“What's surprising is that this sort of thing doesn't happen more often. Judging by the beer cans littering the woods after deer season is over, most hunters are dangerous idiots willfully ignorant of firearm safety.”

“"Most hunters are dangerous idiots willfully ignorant of firearm safety."

I thought you were somewhat educated, Mutt. I guess not.”

“My sincerest condolensces. I hope the father gets immediate help. Like someone up the board noted, it's so common for the family as a whole to break apart as they each enter their own grief and how each member of the family deals with grief differently. There are often two tragedies when something like that happens. I actually feel numb just reading this and don't even know the folks. Can't imagine what you feel like and dang can't image it from the parents point of view. Just know that you and this family are in hundreds of peoples thoughts and prayers.”

“What does it really matter who was most at fault? Pointing a finger can't change the fact that a child is gone.”

“Treebait is very angry right now. Get off her.

I won't discuss should or should not or did didn't on a public forum. The news media is prying into my life and the lives of the family and friends a bit too much as of late. I'm not going to give them anything other that what I already have given.

The family has to live the rest of their lives with the consequences of their choices and yes, there were some very bad choices made. The condemnation of the father by others will not help Alex nor will they punish him any worse than he already is himself.

All things said, he loved that boy.”

“Where I used to live, a guy and his wife returned from town and apparently a night out partying. He was driving. And he was legally drunk. There was a one-vehicle accident and the wife was killed.

In this instance, the police went after the husband, I believe on manslaughter charges. He was in his private hell, and the county (state) chose to make him a scapegoat in their campaign against drunk driving.

I'm not saying anything to or against anyone or anything here. Just wanted to share a fairly non-similar, tragic incident where those in charge did point fingers. Whether right or wrong. A lot of people were very upset when charges were filed against the husband.”

“Agree with HPM.

Blame is the least productive of all emotions, especially from us. What happened here can only be described as unthinkable, especially by a parent, and most of all as a Father that took my own son hunting for the first time this year. You hear about it happening and it makes you cringe and cower.”

“omg.....so sad.......I'm sooo sorry:(”

“I'm sorry to hear such sad news...

my thoughts go out to you and the poor family - I pray they can make it through this tragedy...”

“HPM & Treebait - I know from the years I spent in the scouts that our troop and leaders were like one big family. I sure this has got to be a very painful time for both of you . . . my heart bleeds with you.”

“I hate to hear of such a tragic story. I'm sorry you are going through this pain.”

“We had the visitation tonight. The family decided not to display Alex as they would rather people remember him as he was in life.

There was a huge line of people there to offer support and sympathy. So much so that the Sheriffs office had to direct traffic. The parents aren't doing so well but they were overwhelmed by the outpouring of support.

The local news crew caught up to me at work today also. I basically told them all I would talk about was Alex and nothing else. They still tried to get me to name boys and give contact information for boys in the troop to speak to them. Sorry, I have a responsability to protect these guys from unwelcome intrusions into their private lives.

Most of the boys are still shellshocked that Alex is actually gone. The core group of guys that Alex was a part of have been together since Cubs and those families have always been tight. Scouting is a family and it was made very apparent in the last three days.

I do appreciate the kind words from y'all.”

“Huh, I guess I owe y'all a trip report.”

“He will never get over this. Who could. Maybe he won't discover this tread. There are some things that should not be discussed on forums like this.”

“There is nothing to "discover" here.”