Why Dating Rocks!

“I just with I had a GF who could be my chauffer... and who would wear a little chauffer hat and a nice form fitting chauffer blazer and some nice pants that hugged her bottom. Yep... it would be nice to date a chauffer.”

“SlowPack,

I missed your post the first time around. Yay for you!!!!!!! I'm dying with curiosity now. At this hour on Valentine's Day, you have already left work I'm sure. I'll try to catch up with you tomorrow.”

“Happy Valentines Day and Every Day Fritz!

So pixie...post that corny poem, will ya? I think I know it...LOL...”

“Twig, this one?

You may not 'carrot. all for me
The way I care for you
You may 'turnip' your nose
When I plead with you
But if your 'heart' should 'beet' with mine
Forever 'lettuce' hope
There is no reason in the world
Why we two 'Cantaloupe.'”

“My first date with my wife of 17+ years was a day hike. See you can mix hiking and love!






(Did I just open a can of worms?)lol”

“Twig and Ruby:
You mean Stovie didn't make it up just for me? ; )”

“Chicago Mark,
Thank for your sincere effort to tie backpacking and dating rocks together! ; )
hee hee”

“HEE HEE HEE........
..but I love ya ALL!!!! ;-)
last edited: 2/15/05 6:26:35 AM”

“*blush*”

“LMAO!!!!!!!!!


Maybe I need to add " I love you all, ladies."”

“Hey Chicago Mark, you made me think about the first time I ever went out with Birch. It was a dayhike! He smelled sooooo bad afterwards; I almost died in his car, lol.”

“That's the one Ruby! Who else got it?
pixie, Ruby, lizs, me...anyone else? chime in! LMAO...

Took Stovie about 2 seconds after my post to e-mail me with a half assed excuse...hehe...

Just pickin' on ya - we love you too, Stovie!
=D
last edited: 2/15/05 7:45:35 AM”

“Wooooohooooooooooooo!

My girl gave me some fancy cologne and a gift card to..... REI! :) I almost lacked the patience to make a homemade alfredo sauce work, but she stepped in to save it. All the nights of boiling water for ramen meant at least I didn't screw up the pasta. :)

Dating finally does ROCK!”

“lol.

It was a nice Monday March 23, 1986 in Wisconsin so I didn't stink. But then it was warm enough that we could open the windows! lol”

“Monday's at my restaurant - 1/2 priced Burgers or Individual Pizza's with the purchase of a Beverage. I say "drink" to the customers to lead them to alcohol. They say vodka tonic I ask "rail?" in a slightly admonishing tone. Call will boost the bill $3-5/drink. I only bring water if they ask. I suggest toppings because they can run $1-4 more/topping.

A check for two people with 1/2 priced food, no extras and soda will only come to @15.00. Can't make any money like that.

My Restaurant is not the type people go to for Valentines day. It was raining so I was looking at an under $50 night. Fifty being my "mood" border.

At about 8PM A young couple seats themselves in my section and start in on the Valentine Day festivities; Fighting.

Great. They're gonna make anyone else uncomfortable and tip me like crap. I wait to see if they're gonna stop arguing but it's in vain. I go to the table and interrupt them to take their drink order; 2 Cokes.

Woo Hoo.

I drop the drinks and let them fight for another 15 minutes. They ignore the menus. I print the check and put it in my top pocket to make it visible. I approach the table and, interrupting them again, Loudly state: "Ready?". The ball is in there court. I'm hoping they'll ask for the check. The woman says they need some time. Silly Women. "More time" is not on the table. I look at the Man and smile the fakest smile I have in my repertoire. Only an idiot would take it for real.

The man opens the menu. I turn my "smile" on the woman and she opens the menu. I stand and wait...............2 pizza's.

Woo Hoo.

They argue before the food comes. They argue when I drop the food. They argue while eating. She barely touches hers. he finishes his. I don't bother with the usual server requirements (how is everything? Can I get you anything else? etc.)

Now is the time for the much balyhood Valentine Gift extravaganza: he presents her with a card and a large Cadbury chocolate bar.

Don't ask if they are wrapped. Why bother?

They fight some more.

I bus two tables and approach them. "Would you like your Pizza wrapped Miss?" She hands me the pizza without a word. I take it without a word. I put it in a box and bag it. I bring it to them and drop the check.

$15.00.

I go to the kitchen, come out, and they are gone. On the table is $2.00.

Woo Hoo.

Under the table is a nice umbrella.

Later on, around 11:30, the other server and I are sitting at the bar drinking. In walks the man looking for the umbrella.

Me: "Is it at the table?"
Him: "No".
Me: "Sorry".”

“So when I typically order water at restaurants the waiter mentally says, "Damn?"”

“Most likely......maybe. I'm a big water drinker though so I don't mind. But I tipp based on service and price. It's people that are getting a great deal and tip based on subtotal and/or tax, and then tip 15% that irk us. In most cities, though, servers average 20%+ in tips. I have a hell of a lot more 25% nights then 15% nights.

In fact, a 15% night means a vast majority of your customers sucked.”

“Really? I thought 15% was average?”

“It is for me...I usually tip about 16-17% for average service, 20% for great service (rarely happens), and if I'm pissed about 10%. I have left no tip only a couple of times. The server has to really piss me off to rate that.”

“I understand the 15% as "average". Cities seem to be different. Most of my customers give 20% on the Grand Total.

We also tip our bartendar and food runner based on Sales, not tips. So we get screwed twice if under tipped. We only have to tip 1% for each but anyone with half a brain starts the bartendar on 2% and increases it if you get more than average drink orders.”

“I can only think of once where I really didn't tip.

One time at an Olive Garden the waitress brought our food and apologized for the wait. I didn't think we'd waited that long. She said supper was free. At the end of the meail she comes back by to check on us. She's sort of saying bye since she didn't have a check to bring. I ask what the cost was. She said free. I replied that I understood, but would like a ball park # to tip from. She brightened. I wrote the check directly to her for maybe 50%, can't recall for sure. I think it made her day.

I usually tip 15% for average and 20% for really good and will go 25% if extraordinary, but can't think of that happening often.”

“Do you folks tip on tax?”

“I usually tip to the nearest round dollar that's more than 15% of the total tab including tax. I probably shouldn't tip on the tax, since sales tax here is 8%, but usually for my family it's not a lot of money anyway.”

“technically, the tip should be on subtotal. I really appreciate 20% on Grand Total - Food & Entertainment Tax in DC is 10% :)”

“I predict that my girlfriend will be posting on this thread in 7 - 10 business days... ;)”

“I tip 15% of the Grand Total and rounded up to the nearest $0.50.”

“huh?”

“Do y'all tip more if the server shmoozes? I appreciate it.

BTW - I've given back #&%!$ty tips and have even said "obviously you need it more than I".

Sometimes I love working in a restaurant.”

“hee hee :)”

“Local tax here is 9%. If I tip 15% on a $30 tab, then the sub total tip is 25%. I was about to feel bad on my tip amounts. Looks like I'm doing ok afterall.

I don't think I tip more for shmoozing. I do tip extra if they go out of their way to make sure the kids are taken care of.”

“Sounds like Bison has purchased a ring.”

“Uhhh... Dayhiker, If I was gettin' a ring I'd buy it in a store, I wouldn't have it shipped...”

“Ahhh, so that's the 7-10 day reference. It could also be interpretted that you were giving her something in 7-10 days. I guess you said business days, so I shoulda figured what you meant. QVC maybe?”

“Yes! I have always wanted my engagement ring to be from QVC!”

“QVC? Who do you think I am?

Honey, I can gaurantee that If you get an engagement ring from me, it won't be from QVC...
last edited: 2/15/05 10:25:51 AM”

“Tn basically has a 10% tax so to make it easy to figure out how much to tip I double the tax.”

“Ewker's got it!

BTW - dates watch tips and watch how you treat your server.

15% will not impress. Especially if a server picks it up and shows how unimpressed they are.”

“Just call me lizs today. I'm quite the pot stirrer this morning.”

“Don't y'all have tip calculators on your cell phones?”

“:-)”

“I left the waitress at Waffle house a $20 tip last week... I appreciate good service and if someone is very very good I have no problems leaving a very generous tip. I've left a $50 bill on a $20 tab before and told the guy to keep the change... that he was the best waiter I'd had in quite a while. I hope he didn't think I was comming onto him.”

“I generally leave 15% to 20%. If a server really pisses me off I don't leave no tip, I leave a couple of pennies. I think that gets the point across of my displeasure than leaving nothing. I’ve only had to do this once.”

“I've left change when annoyed.”

“Hey! Stovestomper! You sent that poem to everyone?! I got it too, ladies...but I responded. Wonder what I said? LOL!”

“This is the love poem Stovie sent me.


Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as 'snuff'
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those f'ar ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
That's impressive,' I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
'Diamonds are forever,'
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds......
IT'S A NEW TROLLIN MOTOR!!
”

“I'd rather have a trolling motor than diamonds!”

“I didnt get no stinkin poem!!!”

“You mean he sent Bison one and not you, embear?”

“I would never write you a stinkin' poem honey, only a nice one...”

“embear got no poem? Obviously someone who shall be nameless in this post is sleeping on the job.

Soft! What light through yonder window break? It is the east and Embear is the sun. Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon who is sick and pale with greif...”