Posting drunk

“Jeez Zac, you poor misguided young man, you pour the beer down your throat, not on the keyboard.

(Don't kids these days know nuttin?)”

“Geo's right. However, I tried pouring tequila on the computer and now it has a worm in it!”

“Hey, I was talking about Treebeard's beer, not mine.”

“qight how's awake roung herre?”

“hey Bison, want to hit some trails in Shenandoah today? Meet ya at the Centerville McDonalds at 8.”

“dont' I wish, I was gonna hike some 14ers tommorow. btu drunk as heelll right now! My bud Asseem just left and swears he'll never set goot in out house again. Lot's a drama here dontingnt.”

“Whatcha doin' awake ens? tpp erar;u/ /. Cp,e eptp pmtpmata wotj us! we meeed a fourth!”

“Can'
t frind Jeff right now,

gootta hit dillageanas for braekafast.”

“I lost a whole human being~!”

“Be sure and flush twice.”

“Well... That was an interesting evening.”

“Bis,
Better check to see if you car is in the driveway. LOL”

“Oh it's there, I wasn't driving last night.”

“#&%!$ you all.”

“i bet bison was driving the porcelain bus”

“im posting sober :D”

“Damn, Bison! Where you posting from, Lynchburg, Tenn.?”

“so... I don't feel all that great at the moment everything is spinning and my stomach hurts, and I appear to be spelling everything correctly...”

“Stay away from the windows, Simer, and you'll be all right. Swallow your car keys, so you can't get to them until you poop again!”

“#&%!$ that... I haven't had a car for 4 weeks... nah I won't be driving anywhere. I'll just chill here for a while, sounds like a good plan. that's just what happens when you turn 21 I guess...
last edited: 7/30/05 12:30:25 AM”

“simer - When I used to get drunk in college I and came home late I'd order Elvis collector plates for my neighbor off of the infomercials, COD.

At the time, it was a riot.

You should do that.

Need an address? I can email you one. LOL (you had to be there)”

“lol, sounds like a plan... elvis... what a riot, or somethin like that. nobody does COD anymore though. whatever. now what I need is some elvis collector plates. but i'm not in college any more.
last edited: 7/30/05 12:35:32 AM”

“You are right! COD is nothing more than a fish anymore! Curl up with a nice, smelly sturgeon and I guarantee you will be all right in the morning. You may stink a little, but it's a small price to pay..”

“now where the hell do i find a sturgeon around here...

I just scared the only chick within a 10 mile radius away... but then again, I couldn't understand a word she said, and she wasn't very hot so what's it matter. and then there was something else i was gonna say but I forgot...”

“lol!

Hey Simer! Sounds like a lost night! I remember all too many of those. But, then again, I spent many years single and playing the field! Go to bed! The room will stop moving eventually and advil can do the rest! You have my blessings, my son!”

“goin to bed is such a waste of a good buzz”

“You could do the other thing I used to do simer ... crank up some Guns 'N Roses real loud and dance like a mad man.”

“True! Then, stick it out, boy! Don't let me hear anymore whining! (spoken in true drill sargeant style). You wanna be a drunk, let's be drunks!

sound off:

one two
sound off,

three, four!

sound off,

holy sh_t~! I'm gonna puke!!

bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

“Are GnR still hip, simer?”

“What's so civil about war, anyways?”

“GnR are still pretty sweet, some of the best "older" music, but I still prefer like, disturbed or Korn, or whatever concert I can find myself at. Tomorrow I'm probably gonna find myself at staija's lp release party. Bunch of local bands playin.

I just saw Adema, and that was about the worst night of my life.

(I'm still quite impressed that I continue to spell everything correctly)”

“Where do we go? Ewwww ... Where do we go now? uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Where do we goooo (sweet child) ... Where do we go now? Uh uh Where do we go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o Where do we go now?”

“hell yeah! umm... paradise city was my graduating class song, and I love welcome to the jungle.... yeah.”

“The best is when you get to whistle at the same time as in that song, and it's like, you're the one whistling, but really it's not you, but it's like you are. That's sweet!”

“hell yeah, that's awesome



so... who's idea was it to put the bathroom downstairs anyway???”

“Bastards! Freakin' noive of them!”

“Never stopped me. One time my (sober at the time) girlfriend watched as I opened up the dresser drawer and pissed right into it.

Still don't remember that one. Wish I did though.”

“i don't remmeber doin that one yet... but i should find somewhere else to piss, downstairs is such a long ways away.”

“But I do remember pissing on the door to our dorm one time, which my roomates towel was hanging on. He saw that happen to.

I do remember that one, but denied remembering.

Ha!”

“i don't remmeber doin that one yet... but i should find somewhere else to piss, downstairs is such a long ways away.

That's what windows are for.”

“Did he dry himself with it the next day?”

“No man. We weren't freaky like that.”

“yeah, good plan. or somethin like that.


and as long as we're speaking of doors, my apartment door got ripped off it's hinges like 20 times during the course of my time spent in college... and the cops only showed up once, giving us a warning, even though 10 of us were minors.”

“He was pissed!! I'm serious man. He wasn't happy.

Exactly two weeks later he did the same thing - with his towel still on the door! LOL!

Now that was funny!”

“He was pissed!! I'm serious man. He wasn't happy.

Exactly two weeks later he did the same thing - with one of his towels on the door! LOL!

Now that was funny!”

“whoa... like deja vu or somethin.


and somethin about a towel on a door, but i didn't understand that part.”

“where'd you all go?”

“The gauges of drunkenness in order of appearance are euphoria, excitement, confusion, stupor, coma, and death.

-- The Action Hero's Handbook

(came across it and thought it deserved to be posted somewhere)”

“I can confirm those stages are correct.”

“not drunk yet but getting there
drinking mai ties, yummy and they are frozen”