Ordering Pizza in 2010

“Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 10HXC-20YTL-499ZP-98-45-54NR614."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. Let me confirm your identity. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net.
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where did you get all this info?"
Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"
Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir." Customer: "Huh?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice." Customer: "What? Well, what do you recommend, then?" Operator: "You might try our low-fat Tofu Pizza with a spinach and asparagus sauce. I'm sure you'll like it. Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Tofu Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $84.19." Customer: "Let me give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I already have it sir. But I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit." Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also."
Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 14 minutes. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward." Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?" Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Vespa is paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday" Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: Uh... (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"”

“That is really creative, Redhawk!”

“LMAO.....that was good......”

“Still easier than trying to transfer plates at the DMV.”

“Cross-referencing is the Devil.”

“Big difference though.

See the pizza hut People know EVERYTHING.

The DMV doesn't know a damn thing!”

“point taken”

“funny, yet scary!”

“TIA……"Total Information Awareness" (repackaged as "Terrorist Information Awareness")

Who's Poindexter working for now?”

“I paid for a pizza with my credit card the other night. How cool is that?”

“think about that, what happens if they don;t want you to but something, you pretty well srewed”

“LMAO!!!!
Good one Redhawk!”

“Tilt, evidently you hadnt heard this”

“you can leave your bunker now.”

“Hey the times keep getting more and more Orwellian as we speak.

No one sees a relationship between this and the Patriot Act?

As well as the corrolation between the continued use of "Patriot" and "Evil" and a police state?”

“shhhhhhhhh they are listening.”

“Somehow I just KNOW that Bush is responsible for the fast food being so bad. I wonder if there is any proof that fast food is worse for liberals than conservatives. This would certainly give proof of a link between fast food and Bush. We MUST find the link!”

“Are you kidding? Fast food is the most undiscriminating thing in the world. It will give you heartburn regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, or political position.”

“well it isn't 2010 but you can now order a pizza via a text message

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071115/ap_on_hi_te/texting_for_pizza”

“I have to laugh because it would probably take a person longer to write the text than it would to just call and order.”

“You havn't seen teenagers text have you?”

“LITWOTFM.

(Like, it's the wave of the future man.)

By the way, I finally figured out what the T9 function is on my phone. I don't have to type the 2 button 3 times to get a c. It lets me just hit each number once no matter what letter I want and figures out what my word is supposed to be. It only took me 6 years longer than the kids to figure that one out.
last edited: 11/15/07 3:54:53 PM”

“By the way, I finally figured out what the T9 function is on my phone. I don't have to type the 2 button 3 times to get a c. It lets me just hit each number once no matter what letter I want and figures out what my word is supposed to be. It only took me 6 years longer than the kids to figure that one out.

Really? I had no idea... Now I can't wait to try it! :D”

“I turned that "feature" off on my phone. It kept putting in words I didn't want, and then I would end up deleting the whole message when I tried to fix it.

BTW is it a sign of mental illness to stand in a parking lot while giving your cell phone the bird?”

“BTW is it a sign of mental illness to stand in a parking lot while giving your cell phone the bird?”
lumberzac

only if you expect it to respond in some way.”

“Some phones use itapi instead of T9. It learns which words you use more commonly and puts them in first for autocomplete, and you can add to its dictionary.”

“that was one of the most frustrating features I've ever come across before I learned how to use it.”