I told you that #&%!$ would make you stu pid...

“Maybe he meant to order a pizza.”

“Could be that all the pizza parlors in Iraq suck, and the closest decent pizza was in Kuwait...”

“I always said that invading countries leads to heroin!”

“lmao @ Bit!


Or you can't get good shawarma in Iraq!”

“Damn! The worst thing I can expect is to wake up the next day laying in the front yard.

"Oh man! My head! What happened last night?"

"We invaded Kuaite."

"Oh shlt! I'm never smoking that purple shlt again!"”

“So Saddam and Limbaugh share a common interest?”

“Sadaam has controlling interests in the EIB?”

“Is that a rocket in your pocket or are you glad to see me?”

“When did Bananas become a controlled substance?

And hopefully the georgian will not be able to reproduce after the explosion. I believe that is secondary thinning of the herd?”

“I heard of hot-foot but that's insane!

Yeah, I liked the second story too,

No More Monkey Business

IDAHO FALLS, Idaho (AP) — Prosecutors have charged an Idaho Falls man with trying to hold up a coffee stand — with a banana.

Two words;
Tarp Rat!!!”

“I thought this was going to be about fox news, LOL”

“Driver Forgets Guns, Drugs on Roof of Car

SHAWNEE, Okla. (AP) — Policeman Jon Arnetts was just doing a good turn when he pulled over a car to alert the driver there was a black bag on top of the vehicle. Then he found out what was in the bag.

It contained a handgun, baggies with a small amount of white crystal methamphetamine and marijuana, a smoking pipe and several pills.

The two people in the car were arrested on drug charges, and one will also face a weapons charge.

After the vehicle was impounded, police also found a large hunting knife, a butterfly knife and digital scales.”

“Morons! They should give better care to their drugs. They're expensive!!”

“LOL! My brother drove off to work one day and going around the first turn his loaded Glock 19 skidded off the roof and across the intersection. LOL!”

“Oooh!

One for the 'Typical NRA Member' thread.”

“That's what makes it so funny. It's so non-typical. You would never find someone more devoted to the rules, laws and proper handling of firearms as my brother. That's why it's so funny.”

“What retards whenever iw as packni heat and carrying drugs (transporting) i kept everything on my person. I once taped my cocaine to my inner thigh to get into a concert to make a drop off
:( but that was during some rough times!

THose guys are just dumb to begin with, i dont think it was the drugs but the drugs could have helped!!”

“Bad Joke Gets Worse
Thursday, December 02, 2004

A family joke turned into trouble, which led to a lie, which led to even more trouble for a Nebraska man and his friends.

The unnamed 22-year-old man strolled into a gas station in the Omaha suburb of La Vista Sunday evening and announced that he had a gun, reports the Omaha World-Herald.

The counter clerk didn't take the statement seriously. She was the man's mother.

Unfortunately for him, another customer called police, who sped to the scene.

The cops caught up to the faux robber in the gas station's parking lot, where he was standing outside his car with a friend.

It all would have ended there — if the car hadn't been reeking of marijuana.

A search of the vehicle turned up $603 in cash and a quarter-pound of pot, a far from insubstantial amount.

Even worse, both the joker and his buddy were on parole, meaning they'd certainly be heading back to prison.


So they called a female friend from jail and asked her to tell police the pot was hers. Without a record, they told her, she'd spend at most one night behind bars.

She agreed and came down to the station to 'fess up.

Too bad for all three friends that jailhouse phone calls are monitored. She was arrested for false reporting.

Link”

“Hey Treebeard, roll another blunt!”

“Holy cow! I used to live in LaVista. Its a nice suburb. I wonder which gas station that was.... Time to check the World-Herald.”

“i'd like a quarter-pounder with cheese”

“They should have tased him...”

“Does the game come with a starter kit so little boys & girls can learn firsthand the hazards of dope?”

“Only in Canada, eh?

Yaknow? One day you guys are going to catch on about just how quirky we really are up here and that we conceal it from you guys (you're not ready) behind a fog of bland politeness (is that a word?).”

“they look like us, sometimes sound like us, but they ain't us.”

“What if you do both?”

“I think the more important question is how does posting on TT compare?”

“You're screwed if you read your e mail stoned and talk to oryx!”

““You're screwed if you read your e mail stoned and talk to oryx!”
Treebeard
4:04:07 PM
4/22/05
ignore this user

I think you'd have to be stoned to do that.”

“You may have a point there...”

“We're screwed Tree!”

“Yes, Firefly. We are...............doomed!”

“What do we do?”

“Get on top of a tall building with a high-powered rifle?”

“Like the song says...






roooooooooollllllllllllll another one,

Just like the other one

you've been hanging onto it

and i sure would like a hit!”

“i printed out my last 3 e-mails and stuffed em in my bong, all i got was a headach. boy do i feel stupid”

“Dewd, that's why they'll never let us make paper out of hemp...”

“Not Thinking Clearly, Part ll

STATESBORO, Ga. (AP) — Sgt. Jason Kearney sat in his marked patrol car last Thursday, waiting for his colleagues to join him for lunch when Ron Stone asked him for a ride.

The Bulloch County deputy agreed to take Stone to his car, but first he insisted on searching Stone for weapons, Sheriff Lynn Anderson said.

"Stone told Sergeant Kearney to go ahead," Anderson said.

But instead of packing a pistol, the 30-year-old Stone was packing pot — two small bags, Anderson said.

Stone told the uniformed officer he had spent the night at a friend's house and the marijuana was not his, police said.

Instead of a ride to his car, Stone got a ride to the Bulloch County Jail, where police later learned he was wanted in another county on an outstanding warrant for marijuana possession with intent to distribute.

Fifth story”

“Smoke got in his eyes.”

“Don't Forget to Leave a Tip

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) — Leaving a half-gram of marijuana as a tip at a Starbucks is a bad idea.

Coming back the next day, fighting with the police and dropping your stash is even worse.

Police say that's what Delshawn Prejean, 35, of Jacksonville, did.

According to a sheriff's office report, a customer at the Starbucks told the server as he was leaving, "I left your tip on the counter."

When she looked down, she saw a small amount of unwrapped marijuana. But the man was gone.

When Prejean came into the store Tuesday, the server recognized him as the customer who had left the pot. She called a security guard and police.

When he got to the door to leave, the security guard identified himself, but Prejean wouldn't stop, police said.

Jacksonville Sheriff's Officer F.D. Lockley intervened and a struggle ensued in the parking lot, where others helped subdue Prejean

During the fracas, Prejean dropped a box containing marijuana and rolling papers, officers said.

Prejean was arrested and charged with battery, resisting an officer, possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. He was released late Wednesday from the Duval County Jail on his own recognizance.

There was no information on whether he had retained a lawyer and there was no telephone listing for Prejean.

Second story”

“Geez! Did you see the picture of that dog?!”

“I'm seeing double...”

“I'm seeing vomit.”